Jeff Foxworthy always made me laugh. I recall one of his observations:
"You might be a redneck if you wash your hands before using the restroom."
You might be a redneck if...
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Jeff Foxworthy always made me laugh. I recall one of his observations:
"You might be a redneck if you wash your hands before using the restroom."
Capt:
“You might be a redneck if you stare at a can of orange juice just because it says ‘concentrate’!
"Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. Allen Klein
“You might be a redneck if you stare at a can of orange juice just because it says ‘concentrate’!
Or a blonde.Capt:
“You might be a redneck if you stare at a can of orange juice just because it says ‘concentrate’!
"Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. Allen Klein
My favorite was always:
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
Sometimes it's well advised to wash your hands before you use the bathroom. For instance after working with insulation you should wash your hand before touching any sensitive areas, trust me.
You might be a redneck if you've used a calendar from a past year because you've kept it so long that that dates match up once again. (If you save that there 2017 Jeff Foxworthy Calendar you can use it again in 2023.
)
You might be a redneck if you've used a calendar from a past year because you've kept it so long that that dates match up once again. (If you save that there 2017 Jeff Foxworthy Calendar you can use it again in 2023.
)
"If you have a home that's mobile, and a truck that ain't . . . you might be a redneck."
One of his oldest, and one of his best.
One of his oldest, and one of his best.
if the richest person in your family buys a house
and you have to help him take the wheels off
YMBAR
and you have to help him take the wheels off
YMBAR
You might be a Redneck if you aren’t smarter than a 5th grader.
If you have a working television sitting on top of a non working television, you might be a redneck.
And if you're old like me, then just washing your hands after working outside will make you have use the restroom and have to wash them again. Born and living in NJ, married to a Kentucky gal for 50+ years, with 4 Kentucky "redneck" brothers-in-law who I love dearly, I would be proud if I could earn the title of redneck.
You might be a redneck if your dad’s cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.
If you refer to the 10th grade ‘as your Senior year’...ya might be a redneck.
"Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. Allen Klein
"Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. Allen Klein
"If you haul your trash to the dump and come back with more than what you took"
If your mom’s earrings double as fishing lures.
I remember when Jeff Foxworthy came through town while I was in college. One of the local radio stations had him on for a contest. You could call in with your "you might be a redneck" line, and Jeff's favorite won tickets to his show. This was 1990 or 1991, and Foxworthy was just coming into celebrity.
I still remember the brilliant winner.
"You might be a redneck if you walk INTO a restaurant with a toothpick in your mouth."
I still remember the brilliant winner.
"You might be a redneck if you walk INTO a restaurant with a toothpick in your mouth."
Getting a little close for comfort. Not more stuff, just different, more useful stuff.
You're not a redneck if your corn squeezin' is at Whole Foods, picking out a couple good organic ears.
If you have more tattoos than teeth . . . .
Family tree is a stump. . . . He said I'd like you to meet my wife and my sister, and there was one girl standing there.
Family tree is a stump. . . . He said I'd like you to meet my wife and my sister, and there was one girl standing there.
"If nothing under your Christmas tree is paid for...you might be a redneck". 
"If you’ve ever financed a tattoo....".
"If you think the stock market has a fence around it.....".
"The secret to humor is surprise". Aristotle
"If you’ve ever financed a tattoo....".
"If you think the stock market has a fence around it.....".
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If you go to a family reunion to meet women, YMBAR.
"If you think the stock market has a fence around it.....".
That’s a good one @The Count of Merkur Cristo
That’s a good one @The Count of Merkur Cristo
