I attended a free seminar today offered at the local University entitled: "Workplace Adult Bullying: It is Not Just For Kids Anymore." I admit I am a glutton for punishment but I go to these things all the time. I figure it enriches me. Frankly, it blew my mind. It explained many things that have puzzled me for years. Anyone familiar with this phenomenon or has anyone been the target of the adult bully inside or outside the workplace? Thanks.
Workplace Bullying
- Thread starter August West
- Start date
- Status
Indeed. Years ago, shortly after I joined a company I was the target of a bully. Went to my manager and then about 3 months later, to HR. Strangely enough, I was labelled as disruptive to the workplace and bonuses and raises withheld as a result. Needless to say, I passed in my notice shortly afterwards and moved on. After two other people left with the same complaints against the same worker, they cleaned house..... except for the manager and HR staff, of course.
Experienced it. Still have PTSD-like symptoms today.
- Thread starter
- #4
This Professor stated that if you are comfortable with yourself as a person, well-liked, and/or good at your job. you are more likely to experience this.
- Thread starter
- #5
I recall hearing that today. Similar symptoms as prisoners of war. That should be a crime.
Last edited:
I swore I'd never work in the financial industry again (job where I was bullied made investment management software). But here I am again in the same industry trying to remind myself day to day, moment to moment, that I'm in a different but better situation. There are triggers. I do have panic attacks, mental shutdowns, and the rare meltdown. I can't be popping the Ativan all day at the office so I have to learn how to talk myself down from the anxiety and paranoia.
You know, a great many therapists do not take these PSTD symptoms seriously. They do not understand how much stress this really causes.
The law ought to treat workplace bullying as seriously as it does sexual harassment or discrimination based on race, religion, national origin, etc. It is outrageous conduct that no employer should tolerate or condone. A civil tort case for compensatory and punitive damages should be possible under current laws, and a large punitive damages award would send the right signal to employers. However, litigation can be a harrowing process and might even re-traumatize the victim (cf. rape cases), so it's understandable that many victims would choose not to sue. The most important thing is to get help, and to remove yourself from the toxic situation as quickly as possible.
I was bullied when I was a kid, when I got older I started bullying others, not in a workplace though.
Last edited:
I haven't, but I am very surprised about grown up people bullying each other in professional life. Did they indicate that it happened more in certain types of organizations, e.g. with a high performance culture, or a high degree of bureaucracy?
In other words, would it be related to general frustration or competition levels in organizations?
In other words, would it be related to general frustration or competition levels in organizations?
This is a big deal in workplaces in Australia. These are criminal offences in some cases and things are evolving really quickly.
Don't forget that the workplace context is ripe for psychopathy. Psychopathy and other nefarious antisocial personality disorders are rewarded in business. The psychopaths benefit from it because while everyone around them is putting in complaints or running off to HR or talking to colleagues, management observe that the psychopath appears to be the only calm, quiet one going, and therefore wrongly deduces that everyone else is unstable.
You need to learn skills to deal with them and flush them out.
If you want to know more about it generally, you could do worse than start reading Janice Harper: http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/janice-harper-phd
Don't forget that the workplace context is ripe for psychopathy. Psychopathy and other nefarious antisocial personality disorders are rewarded in business. The psychopaths benefit from it because while everyone around them is putting in complaints or running off to HR or talking to colleagues, management observe that the psychopath appears to be the only calm, quiet one going, and therefore wrongly deduces that everyone else is unstable.
You need to learn skills to deal with them and flush them out.
If you want to know more about it generally, you could do worse than start reading Janice Harper: http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/janice-harper-phd
- Thread starter
- #12
I checked my notes and pamphlets this morning and it was stated it is more prevalent in certain cultures, countries, and societies. They also state that is not always those in charge that bully but 'peer' to 'peer'.
Last edited:
Nothing a short piece of 2x4 and a swift "talking too" can sort out.
- Thread starter
- #14
My natural instinct indeed.
I haven't really encountered it, I've come across coworkers that are just total dicks and I stand my ground. I usually politely ask for them to stop and if they don't I tell them to watch a game of rugby and see how destructive a forward can be to an opposing player. Usually does the trick.
Bullys, of any kind, are cowards. They can all be handled in the same way, more or less.
- Thread starter
- #17
So true and was heavily discussed. Apparently we are conditioned to think of the bully in the traditional 'schoolyard' sense. I am not an expert but I gather these other types of bullies are far more clever and sociopathic in nature. Difficult to recognize in many cases as they weave a web of distrust and discrmination based on their agenda of self aggrandizement and prejudices.
I'm having a slight bit of difficulty in envisioning how this phenomenon manifests itself.
I mean, we're adults. The work place is comprised completely of adults.
There are good joes and there are complete jerks and everything in between, but what is the criteria that makes someone a "bully" at work, and not just the office jerk?
In my experience, the office jerk is fairly easy to deal with, and then he / she doesn't bother you any more, whereas a "Bully" implies an ongoing behavior.
Are we just renaming the "office jerk" with school yard terminology because some are unable to deal with someone who doesn't display appropriate social behavior at work?
I mean, we're adults. The work place is comprised completely of adults.
There are good joes and there are complete jerks and everything in between, but what is the criteria that makes someone a "bully" at work, and not just the office jerk?
In my experience, the office jerk is fairly easy to deal with, and then he / she doesn't bother you any more, whereas a "Bully" implies an ongoing behavior.
Are we just renaming the "office jerk" with school yard terminology because some are unable to deal with someone who doesn't display appropriate social behavior at work?
http://www.kickbully.com
That website goes into great depths on this topic. It's more prevalent the higher you go. It's part of a culture that only exists if no one stands up to it. Especially if there is absentee owners or managers.
I've done a little research on toxic places and hostile environments. There is such thing as a constructive dismissal, if you document everything and have to resign for your health or safety.
That website goes into great depths on this topic. It's more prevalent the higher you go. It's part of a culture that only exists if no one stands up to it. Especially if there is absentee owners or managers.
I've done a little research on toxic places and hostile environments. There is such thing as a constructive dismissal, if you document everything and have to resign for your health or safety.
Last edited:
A 'bully' is someone who is your boss or has any influence on your working environment or compensation. So if a jerk affects your job and no one can or will stop the behavior it turns into bullying.
- Status
