Why Is Hold Music Uniformly Awful?

[luvmysuper]

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I don't want to know what our hold music would sound like!

I'm not opposed to that. The Military uses a similar protocol to ensure that people who have a process "memorized" haven't memorized it with a few steps missing.
Though I do think there's a difference in the need for such measures between critical path stuff and phone in sales help from a company or fast food workers!

 

[Chandu]

Open a stick of ARKO and forget about the music.

It looks like you are past the grieving stage with Williams. LOL

 

[njpaddy]

I usually put it on speaker, lower the vol and tune the music out while I do something else on my computer. My wife can't stand it. I will usually monitor the line for her. If it goes over an hour, even I hang up.

I love sites, like Dyson, that say the wait will be 10+ minutes, would you like to be called back. Heck yea!!. As annoyed as I was with Dyson over a recent problem, they were pretty good at getting back in a reasonable time.

 

[TinyTim]

 

[TinyTim]

I usually put it on speaker, lower the vol and tune the music out while I do something else on my computer. My wife can't stand it. I will usually monitor the line for her. If it goes over an hour, even I hang up.

I love sites, like Dyson, that say the wait will be 10+ minutes, would you like to be called back. Heck yea!!. As annoyed as I was with Dyson over a recent problem, they were pretty good at getting back in a reasonable time.

I'm like your wife.

 

[GaryTha]

It looks like you are past the grieving stage with Williams. LOL

I found another puck today, and a friend will be giving me one or two more. I'll be up to 27 or 28. I have 24 sticks of ARKO coming on Saturday.

I read we are supposed to say YMMV.

 

[Herrenberg]

Proof that hold music can be wonderful came on a Simpson's episode in which baby Maggie goes missing.

Homer calls the police department.

Police: Police department. How can I help you?
Homer: I'd like the Department of Missing Babies
Police: Please hold
(Hold music: "Baby Come Back")

 

[Herrenberg]

Suggested hold music:

Coke: Rum and Coca Cola
Pfizer: I Want A New Drug
Maytag: I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry
Budweiser: I Drank Fifteen Beers

 

[FarmerTan]

Proof that hold music can be wonderful came on a Simpson's episode in which baby Maggie goes missing.

Homer calls the police department.

Police: Police department. How can I help you?
Homer: I'd like the Department of Missing Babies
Police: Please hold
(Hold music: "Baby Come Back")

The War of even laffed at this one! Well done!

 

[galopede]

We have a large car breakdown company in the UK called Green Flag. I love their choice of hold music, Fontella Bass, Rescue Me....

 

[ByMyBeard]

I think perhaps worse than phone hold music, is background music chosen for training videos. Why is this even necessary? Posting this because I'm currently in a training video for work, and they used this for at least 10 minutes. Perhaps the trainer wanted to build in a coffee/bathroom break for themselves...

 

[FarmerTan]

I think perhaps worse than phone hold music, is background music chosen for training videos. Why is this even necessary? Posting this because I'm currently in a training video for work, and they used this for at least 10 minutes. Perhaps the trainer wanted to build in a coffee/bathroom break for themselves...

Kinda like a disc jockey!

 

[emwolf]

I wish I could find this on YouTube, but there was a great book on Second City that came with two even better CD's of material performed by them. One was a hold music routine where the operator is just singing the hold music.

 

[Go West Young Man]

Hold music is bad because any song you've ever heard is both subject to licensing fees and/or royalties, and like Phil said there's at least one person out there who hates every song ever written. Generic, non threatening, low-key music is written specifically for this use case.

They can't leave you in silence because most people will wonder if they've been disconnected, hang up, and start the whole process over.

There's a great podcast episode about the history of Muzak.... and the surprising Seattle Grunge connection to it! When Muzak Met Grunge - https://slate.com/podcasts/decoder-ring/2021/06/muzak-grunge-elevator-music