This is easily the most civilized and generous forum that I've ever been a participant in. Truly a great group of guys.
Why Badger and Blade rocks!
- Thread starter Jsouthard825
- Start date
This place is pretty amazing! 
Yep, a truly great bunch of folks on this forum. It makes it fun and I know I learn something new just about every day here.
My friends at Cigar Weekly's forums are very much like you lot here. Lots of generosity of spirit, generosity in deed, and friendship. What I've loved there for the last 16 years, I notice and appreciate here, as well. Thanks for welcoming the stranger,the wonderful advice, and the absolute enabling of the acquisition disorder so inherent in BOTH of my now favorite pursuits.
Our small firelit clearing in the dark chittering forest of unreason.
I like the all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet in the special section of the forum.
Complements of Penn State's historic Berkey Creamery.
best kept secret on the internet
Taken from the "Official Bed & Breakfast Weekly Digest", the trade publication by, and for inexpensive lodging proprietors...
"The gentleman, who signed in as August West, was an impeccably clean shaven guest who stayed with us for a week. Upon arrival he insisted on at least an hour and a half each morning in the washroom in order to prepare for each day's visit to his job site at something called Area 51. I looked up this Area 51 on the internet and discovered it was three states away! Mr. West was disturbingly eager to show us the contents of one of his trunks...the luggage kind, thankfully! In it was quite possibly the most amazing and equally disturbing collection of shaving implements I'd ever seen. Things only seen in those nasty slasher horror movies from the 1980's. Mr. West called them 'straights'. I call them frightening. Each morning of that week my wife and I were woken by the sounds coming from the bathroom of what I believe was the Greatfull Dead or some such hippie noise...I'm not sure but each morning (beginning at 4-30, by the way), it sounded like it was just one song playing at full volume for the duration of the 90 minutes the bathroom was shanghaied. It seemed like it was a different song every morning, but it each of them lasted for over an hour! When Mr. West first arrived the question came up about our stock of Pop Tarts. My wife offered to purchase a box for him, but he said he brought his own...and another trunk was opened to reveal about fifty boxes of the breakfast 'treat'...which he insisted on eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner. To each his own. I'm ashamed to admit this, and it's in contravention of the B&B Code of Conduct, but by the end of Mr. West's weeklong stay/prison sentence with us, I had noticed an appalling stench in the bathroom each morning. No, not that. Rather, it was more of a cat urine smell. Our children had started crying each time our guest walked by and I was bound and determined to trace the source of this eye-watering scent. I went 'investigating' while Mr. West was on his daily visit to this Area 51 and found in the third trunk he had a stash of at least 200 glass bottles in varying shapes and sizes of a noxious green liquid. Each bottle had haphazardly taped or glued on labels saying 'Lilac Vegetable'. Which I think is Latin for, yes, cat urine.
Fortunately, Mr. West's stay with us came to an end that afternoon. The past three months have been spent fumigating his room and unclogging the bathroom sink (the plumber we contracted said the p-trap was filled with something called 'chella').
Our home is finally back in business. Our next client following our complete renovation is someone called Mr. Ouch. Hopefully this guest will be less of an annoyance.
Signed,
Mr. And Art Wholeflaffer
Happy Time Nudist Trailer Park"
"The gentleman, who signed in as August West, was an impeccably clean shaven guest who stayed with us for a week. Upon arrival he insisted on at least an hour and a half each morning in the washroom in order to prepare for each day's visit to his job site at something called Area 51. I looked up this Area 51 on the internet and discovered it was three states away! Mr. West was disturbingly eager to show us the contents of one of his trunks...the luggage kind, thankfully! In it was quite possibly the most amazing and equally disturbing collection of shaving implements I'd ever seen. Things only seen in those nasty slasher horror movies from the 1980's. Mr. West called them 'straights'. I call them frightening. Each morning of that week my wife and I were woken by the sounds coming from the bathroom of what I believe was the Greatfull Dead or some such hippie noise...I'm not sure but each morning (beginning at 4-30, by the way), it sounded like it was just one song playing at full volume for the duration of the 90 minutes the bathroom was shanghaied. It seemed like it was a different song every morning, but it each of them lasted for over an hour! When Mr. West first arrived the question came up about our stock of Pop Tarts. My wife offered to purchase a box for him, but he said he brought his own...and another trunk was opened to reveal about fifty boxes of the breakfast 'treat'...which he insisted on eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner. To each his own. I'm ashamed to admit this, and it's in contravention of the B&B Code of Conduct, but by the end of Mr. West's weeklong stay/prison sentence with us, I had noticed an appalling stench in the bathroom each morning. No, not that. Rather, it was more of a cat urine smell. Our children had started crying each time our guest walked by and I was bound and determined to trace the source of this eye-watering scent. I went 'investigating' while Mr. West was on his daily visit to this Area 51 and found in the third trunk he had a stash of at least 200 glass bottles in varying shapes and sizes of a noxious green liquid. Each bottle had haphazardly taped or glued on labels saying 'Lilac Vegetable'. Which I think is Latin for, yes, cat urine.
Fortunately, Mr. West's stay with us came to an end that afternoon. The past three months have been spent fumigating his room and unclogging the bathroom sink (the plumber we contracted said the p-trap was filled with something called 'chella').
Our home is finally back in business. Our next client following our complete renovation is someone called Mr. Ouch. Hopefully this guest will be less of an annoyance.
Signed,
Mr. And Art Wholeflaffer
Happy Time Nudist Trailer Park"
Truly Epic. Shakespeare, Horacio, and Lovelace (Linda) would be proud.
Thank you. And while it was work of love and respect towards August, I was aiming more towards Groucho, Chico and Gummo...
This could very well be the greatest B&B post of all time.
And, once again, done to you good sir out of love, respect and a six pack of Lakeport Light.
@ouch has got to see this. 
@ouch has got to see this.
Well that's it, I'm done for. They're going to find me tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the basement carpet.
Tell my wife that I regret nothing.
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