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What's the worst soap/cream you own? And why?

Arko (stick) doesn't work for me.

No problem with the scent. It's just drying to my skin, both when it's on my face and for hours after my shave. I'll give it a few more tries, but I'm not too hopeful. Will probably get the soap dish out and use it on my hands.
I find face lather works best for Arko, just smear it all around your face and then face lather
 
I'm currently happy with all of my soaps.

Scalpmaster was my worst though. Dried my face, didn't like the lather, or the smell. Smell wasn't horrible- just a soap smell. Not sure if it was worth the quarter I spent on it. :)
 
Williams-no mas. Not a bad shower soap though.
Worse than that was some kind of artisan hand crafted soap I bought a couple years ago in St. Augustine. Can't remember the name; don't want to.
Mystic Waters and Mama Bear for runners up
 
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The Ones above are my worst ones. I really like the scent of the 45th Parrallel and Tuscan Oud and love all lime scents - but I can’t get these to perform. I do give them a chance here and there and generally take the lime out as my travel soap/cream.

Now, the ones below are the better performers. I was very pleasantly surprised with the “What the Puck”s. Citrus blast isn’t a great performer for me but I do use it sometimes, and that’s the same for soap commander (although I still like to give it a try). I’m sure you all know my other buddies that go by the following names - Cella, Tabac, CF Lime, SV, MdC, Wickhams - none of these need any introduction

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For me it’s the Hungarian shaving cream Barbon. Good performance but it somehow masterfully nails the scent of potpourri and old lady perfume trying to mask the lingering smell of a bowel movement in a bathroom. It’s inexcusably rank and the only one to date I threw in the trash.

YMMV as always, Barbon is best smelling cream for me :)
 
Currently my worst is Wilkinson Sword black bowl. Why? Because i had bought 2 bowls, thinking "come on, it's Wilkinson, how bad can it possibly be!". However, including past experiences:

- Soaps that i had to abbandon because i couldn't stand the scent:
1) TABAC. What a shame, since i loved the lather, but the scent, is... too much for me... I can't describe it. I just can't stand it.
2) Proraso green. Again, there is something in it that reminds me of being sick in winter.
3) Arko. There is a deeper scent behind the main scent that i find very disturbing. But i haven't permanently abandoned it YET. I have a few sticks, waiting for them to lose their scent. And will try to air the stick before using it. I am in no hurry to try it again though.

- Worst soaps because of poor performance:
1) Figaro Almond italian soap. I used this many years ago and i am willing to give it a second chance in the future, because in the meantime, i have become much more experienced in lathering. But the way i remember it, is: Very easy to make lather, but the lather was a curious combination of non slick, non cushiony and unstable at the same time. I vaguely remember that there was a short window of water added and time, where it would become much more acceptable. But the window was very narrow.
2) Wilkinson Sword bowl (both blue and black). Eventually, once you load a lot and swirl a lot, they work. But other soaps work with 25%-50% the amount of work. And it costs twice as much as Proraso tub. So the question comes natural: Why should i buy it again, instead of 2 Proraso tubs? I still have 1 black left though. We will see if i will use it or not at the end.
3) Derby creams: Somewhat too watery lather for my taste. Slickness was Ok, but lacked cushion. But i like the lemon version.
 
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