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Thoughts on hair and beard styling please

I hope this in the most appropriate place - please move it if not :)

I've never really paid much attention to personal grooming / styling, however over lockdown I let my hair grow out and have grown to like it - so now need to decide what to do with it and would welcome some thoughts and guidance please!

I know that a lot of styling is subjective, while there are also some universal rules that should be followed.

I've put some time into my beard and am fairly happy with it; having found the journey into SR use really rewarding thus far. Care is fairly basic - sideburns kept to length with a downward No.3 using the clippers every so often, length under chin trimmed to give a bit of an upward angle moving rearward, 'tash kept to length at top lip and rounded off a little freehand with the clippers. Every 2-3 days cheeks are shaved to existing line / to remove outlying hairs, neckline trimmed and shaved to 2 fingers above Adam's apple, rearward projection at base of sideburns / rear of jaw tidied. For now I'm just letting it grow out and taking off the obviously wayward hairs to see what length I like.

Conversely I've not had a haircut since some time last year and don't do a lot with it other than washing it. Having spent most of my life with generic, off-the-shelf short haircuts I like the tactility and non-conformity of having it long but am not too sure on the aesthetic or where to go when I eventually visit the barbers. Usually it ends up either swept back and tucked behind my ears or hanging in a rough centre-parting which I quite like, but I'm not sure if it just screams "mid life crisis" with that much forehead exposed..

Below are some pics - I'm not in the SAS but equally don't like images of my face plastered all over the net so eyes have been redacted to protect the innocent!

If you were "blessed" with my face, where would you go with the hair and beard?

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Thanks!
 
As someone who has had very long hair at one point, I think the hair looks good. I suggest letting it grow until you think it's too long and then just cut back incrementally until you find the sweet spot.
 
  • Healthy amount of hair on top; I do not see "mid life crisis" at all. My high school son has grown his hair out this year and uses pomade to hold that brushed back look. Forehead has similar look to yours, so no worries. You are nowhere near the George Carlin ponytail.
  • Combined with no gray at all, still no evidence of mid life crisis look
  • Very nice healthy beard, classic trimmed look. To accentuate the "well groomed" look, perhaps shaving the area under bottom lip between moustache line and "soul patch."
 
Thanks guys - I really appreciate your input and was beginning to think that the stoney silence was due to everyone keeping their mouths shut out of tact / observation of the old adage "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" :p

Modeling agency, probably.
lol - now I know you're taking the pish but I'll take the flattery where I can get it!

As someone who has had very long hair at one point, I think the hair looks good. I suggest letting it grow until you think it's too long and then just cut back incrementally until you find the sweet spot.
Thanks - that's kind of the plan but I just have no idea about styling (or whether I can really get away with it being long at all) and I'm wary of pulling it back as it's getting dangerously close to midlife-crisis-ponytail territory IMO. I think it probably wants some weight taking out of it but again, if I end up at the barber's I'd prefer to have some idea of what to ask for.

Hair looks good, I would trim the beard down to half of the length see how it looks and decide, good luck
Thanks - I really appreciate the support; being stuck in my own head for most of the time, having no frame of reference and with my confidence being pretty low having come out of a long term relationship some months ago.

Tbh I'm reluctant to trim the beard too much as it grows so slowly, but I appreciate many take the same approach as sneefy has suggested with the hair - let it grow then chop it when you know it's got too long. As much as I admire those with massive, perfectly manicured square beards I think my face is already long enough without adding too much more so figured it probably wouldn't look great much beyond where it is now. Maybe now is that time!


  • Healthy amount of hair on top; I do not see "mid life crisis" at all. My high school son has grown his hair out this year and uses pomade to hold that brushed back look. Forehead has similar look to yours, so no worries. You are nowhere near the George Carlin ponytail.
  • Combined with no gray at all, still no evidence of mid life crisis look
  • Very nice healthy beard, classic trimmed look. To accentuate the "well groomed" look, perhaps shaving the area under bottom lip between moustache line and "soul patch."
Thanks - again I'm really grateful for your positive thoughts! The beard's been a really rewarding little project so far but I still have a lot to learn. After decades of paying no attention and assuming my tatty neck beard was just the same as everyone else's far-better-groomed facial hair, it's nice to be told I seem to be nearing my new-found goal of a more tidy appearance. I'll take a look at shaving the area you suggest as this wasn't something I'd considered until you suggested it.
 

luvmysuper

My elbows leak
Staff member
With just a minor trim it'd be easy to turn that beard into this:

beard-1.jpg


The upside being that the mouth area is free of wayward hair that interferes with eating, drinking etc.

The downside is that it is harder to maintain than it looks.
 

luvmysuper

My elbows leak
Staff member
I could make my beard exactly like that. But I'm not Hugh Jackman
Been sporting one for a couple of weeks because some dental work is making it more difficult to shave the sides, but shaving the middle works and keeps beer out of a mustache. :laugh:
 
...I've not had a haircut since some time last year and don't do a lot with it other than washing it. Having spent most of my life with generic, off-the-shelf short haircuts I like the tactility and non-conformity of having it long but am not too sure on the aesthetic or where to go when I eventually visit the barbers. Usually it ends up either swept back and tucked behind my ears or hanging in a rough centre-parting which I quite like, but I'm not sure if it just screams "mid life crisis" with that much forehead exposed..

If you were "blessed" with my face, where would you go with the hair and beard?...

At this point, I'd say your hair is kind of a blank canvas that could be styled in many different ways. I think the current style may overemphasize the high forehead a bit. I would change the basic shape of your hair to make it more rounded. This would better balance out your overall rectangular face shape. Also, if you could vary the hair length a little more, I believe that would bring out the texture of your hair which I think would look quite good. The back is starting to get just a bit too long, there where it is flipping up somewhat. To me, collar length is a good place for your hair.

If you would consider a side part, bringing some of the hair over the forehead, this would draw attention away from the forehead and emphasize the hair more.

1623953027519.png


I think the beard is overall good, but I would suggest thinning out the front mustache and chin area to allow it to better follow the natural shape of your face. Don't hide behind the beard, instead let it emphasize the underlying shape of your face.

I hope these comments are useful and constructive.
 
With just a minor trim it'd be easy to turn that beard into this:

View attachment 1282858

The upside being that the mouth area is free of wayward hair that interferes with eating, drinking etc.

The downside is that it is harder to maintain than it looks.
.... although sadly less straightforward to turn my face into that of Hugh Jackman's - definintely think I'd struggle to pull that off!


At this point, I'd say your hair is kind of a blank canvas that could be styled in many different ways. I think the current style may overemphasize the high forehead a bit. I would change the basic shape of your hair to make it more rounded. This would better balance out your overall rectangular face shape. Also, if you could vary the hair length a little more, I believe that would bring out the texture of your hair which I think would look quite good. The back is starting to get just a bit too long, there where it is flipping up somewhat. To me, collar length is a good place for your hair.

If you would consider a side part, bringing some of the hair over the forehead, this would draw attention away from the forehead and emphasize the hair more.

View attachment 1283068

I think the beard is overall good, but I would suggest thinning out the front mustache and chin area to allow it to better follow the natural shape of your face. Don't hide behind the beard, instead let it emphasize the underlying shape of your face.

I hope these comments are useful and constructive.
Thanks - that's really great; just the sort of specific, reasoned guidance I'm after :)

I was thinking similar about the hair as it's grown to this length from being pretty short so isn't this way by design and I feel needs some sort of attention;I'm just not sure what. I've never much liked side partings but have never really tried with long hair and do feel like there's too much slaphead on show.

I think you're the second person who's mentioned the beard length - in principle I appreciate the argument and probably agree, but think I'm just drawn to growing it longer out of curiousity as I've never done it before. In isolation I can see the draw of long beards but I don't think one would suit me. I've thought for a while that it could do with a bit of tidying so maybe I'll use that as an excuse to go over it with the clippers and guard tomorrow to take off a bit of length and see how I feel about it.

Maybe it's time to start thinking about a trip to the barber!
 
.... although sadly less straightforward to turn my face into that of Hugh Jackman's - definintely think I'd struggle to pull that off!



Thanks - that's really great; just the sort of specific, reasoned guidance I'm after :)

I was thinking similar about the hair as it's grown to this length from being pretty short so isn't this way by design and I feel needs some sort of attention;I'm just not sure what. I've never much liked side partings but have never really tried with long hair and do feel like there's too much slaphead on show.

I think you're the second person who's mentioned the beard length - in principle I appreciate the argument and probably agree, but think I'm just drawn to growing it longer out of curiousity as I've never done it before. In isolation I can see the draw of long beards but I don't think one would suit me. I've thought for a while that it could do with a bit of tidying so maybe I'll use that as an excuse to go over it with the clippers and guard tomorrow to take off a bit of length and see how I feel about it.

Maybe it's time to start thinking about a trip to the barber!
I think you want somebody who will cut your hair just with scissors. Most barbers would want to mow your hair down with clippers. Take them a picture of what you are looking for, that will help them out.

I wasn't suggesting to shorten your beard, exactly. But rather to thin it out some there at the front. Your mouth is just barely visible behind that wall of hair. A lot of people of the older generations didn't like beards because as they would say "it looks like he's hiding something".
:laugh:
 
I think you want somebody who will cut your hair just with scissors. Most barbers would want to mow your hair down with clippers. Take them a picture of what you are looking for, that will help them out.

I wasn't suggesting to shorten your beard, exactly. But rather to thin it out some there at the front. Your mouth is just barely visible behind that wall of hair. A lot of people of the older generations didn't like beards because as they would say "it looks like he's hiding something".
:laugh:
It's too bloody late now! :p

Yesterday I buzzed over the whole lot with clippers, downwards / with the grain on a No.4 then No.3 setting. Before I had maybe 3/4" of beard depth beneath my chin, now it's more like 1/2". The hair length itself is maybe around 1" at the beard. It's tidied it up a lot and looks more defined / accentuates the jaw line better as you suggested.

I like the idea of a big beard but don't think it really suits me; I think I have a reasonably strong jawline (which a large beard hides) and an an already longish face that probably doesn't need to be any longer! Maybe I'll grow it out again and play with it a bit more in future - at least now I have a good fallback having grown it out and cut it back :)

I always used to take the pish out of my old man for having a beard / that he looked better with his face covered up - as I've grown older I can totally see where he was coming from now..

I'm still not sure on the hair; I played with a side parting the other day and really wasn't convinced. It defintely needs some attention now though as it's getting increasingly unmanageable. Problem is I still don't really know where to go and am skeptical of leaving it to the barber to decide..


I think it looks fine as is.
Thanks - I appreciate you saying so!
 
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AimlessWanderer

Remember to forget me!
As it stands, it looks fine. It looks intentional.

The longer it gets, the less intentional it looks, and can look like neglect unless something is obviously maintained. That might be keeping the hair length, and letting the beard grow, or letting the hair grow, and moving to partial beard.

I did the latter. Hair to my elbows, big tache, and (currently) 5" goatee.
 
As it stands, it looks fine. It looks intentional.

The longer it gets, the less intentional it looks, and can look like neglect unless something is obviously maintained. That might be keeping the hair length, and letting the beard grow, or letting the hair grow, and moving to partial beard.

I did the latter. Hair to my elbows, big tache, and (currently) 5" goatee.
Thanks - that's a win on the hair front as it's definitely neglected :p

Not sure I want to go full-on long hair but will see how it goes. After this morning's escapade (below) I think I have a good idea of how long I want the beard..


Recently, mistakes have been made (notes for my future self as much as anyone else!)....

It all started by over-cooking the shave on my left cheek - going too low where the upper jawline meets the would-be-goatee. This was probably for a number of reasons; I tend to blow out one cheek to stretch the skin and the new line follows the bottom of the "blown cheek bulge"; although unfortuately what looks like a nice gentle curve around the edge of the beard with the cheek blown out leaves a distinct hollow at the bottom when my face is deflated.. .Also, when lathered up it's difficult to see borders and due to the thin-ness I've probably just plouged through it thinking it was meant to be shaved.

This looked pretty bad so I've evened up the other side so at least my face doesn't look wonky.. this also looked less than great due to the variation in width between my fat mutton-chop sideburns and the narrow bit described above, so I've thinned out and straightened up the sideburns a bit to make it look more proportioned. I'm painfully aware that it's a lot easier to take the hair off than to put it back so am stopping myself from going too far as I don't want my face to end up like the car subject to Father Ted's dent removal if anyone remebers that episode..

I'm also getting a bit irritated with the beard on my chin as it seems to grow faster on the right side so ends up wonky if that side's not constanty trimmed. In the quest for thought-and-skill-free uniformity I went over the whole ot with the clippers set to No.3; this took off a lot more than last time; I think this time because I'd just rubbed a load of vaseline into my face (crap skin) and this had added a bit of stiffness to the hairs so they yielded less than last time, hence more length was culled. Immediately afterwards I thought it made my face look too round, although the more I check it the more I think it looks OK. Definitely won't be going any shorter than though!

Anyway, I think the plan now is to leave the cheeks alone for a bit and let the hair grow out so I can redefine my borders when I have a bit more to play with. Moving forward I think I'm going to keep the 'tash and sideburns in check with regular No.3 / 4 attention with the clippers, while attempting to let the depth below the chin grow out a bit. Not sure how I'm going to transition this into everywhere else yet..

All good "fun"!
 
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A bit of an update, for those with nothing better to do / my future self when I forget which way I was heading!

Six weeks later and enough hair has grown back in the spuriously-shaved bits of my cheeks to hide my prior indiscretion with the razor, and the upper edge of my beard at the cheeks is now around the same height as that under my mouth.

I've tided the whole lot with a downward only No.3 on the clippers; leaving the hair under the chin untouched so beard length is now greater underneath than on the front. I'm liking this as the beard currently adds around 18-20mm of depth to my chin; visually balancing the creeping expanse of forehead up-top and making it look less like my features have become unstuck in the sun and slid down my skull..

I may have gone a bit far with the razor and undercut the beard at the jaw line; making it look a bit thin on the sides (so I won't be doing that again). Similarly I evidently struggle with density a bit on the cheeks, with the current "downward No.3" still allowing the skin beneath to show through. So, from this point on I think the default will move up to a "downward No.4" once hair length allows and see where that leaves me.

I plan to keep growing length underneath but am a bit unsure as to how to handle the lower line; I assume abandon the "two fingers above the adam's apple" approach and just keep shaving to the beard's natural length while maintaining the upward angle moving rearward to retain a defined jawline...?

I've also got a bit of a taper going on with the beard - it extending around 10mm below my jaw at its rear and deepening to the 18-20mm under the chin. Not sure whether to selectively trim the front as I get more on the rear to balance this out a bit.

The hair's still had no attention and is now pushing shoulder length... again I like this but it's getting pretty volumonous so I guess a trip to the barber's for a thinning-out and tidy will be in order - will be looking to keep most of the length though. A nice thought is that my mere two barbers' visits in the past 18 months or so has probably more than paid for my razor :)

I might post some more pics up in a few weeks, but for now it looks not a whole lot different to the last lot.
 
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