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The WORST Cologne You've Owned / Smelled?

It's Hedley

Contributor
Grey Flannel.

I can't stand it. It's awful.

It could easily be used as an insect repellent. It repels people, let alone insects. 😄
I agree wholeheartedly, Nicholas. Grey Flannel was the first cologne I purchased in high school and it repelled every girl I went out on a date with. Once I stopped using Grey Flannel, i was once again a chick magnet!! :thumbup: I only used the stuff a few times, but it was so strong and offensive. My older sister finally told me to stop wearing it!
 
I enjoy Grey Flannel, as well. Best way to approach it is to apply, don't breathe for about thirty minutes, then relax and enjoy for the next several hours!
The only way I've found to enjoy it is to walk up behind someone you don't like at a party, discreetly spray some on the back of their clothes, and watch their face in bemusement as they instantly repel anyone they approach.

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My first experience with the Veg on this forum, many years ago, and my assessment of my chosen-ness:

I think I may be halfway between, in limbo; a bridge to both worlds. I seldom use it, since it's difficult to remove from it's radioactive containment vessel, but when I do I don't die, and small children do not run screaming. On the other hand, heavenly choirs do not welcome me, and I only see across the river to the Promised Land of fragrance bliss, but cannot cross. A lilting breeze of lilac wafts over, punctuated by the oh-so faint hint of lions urinating in Eden....
You’re a nut.
 
It's a tossup between Grey Flannel and Tabac. I used to wear GF back in the '80s until I got called out as being "That Guy" one evening. Hadn't worn it since and had forgotten about it until a few years ago. Found a bottle in Marshall's so I gave it a sniff to refresh my memory. Should have walked right by that bottle and not given it a second glance.

As far as Tabac goes, can't stand any of it. The soap stinks, the balm stinks and the aftershave stinks. Now I have two pucks, two tubes of balm and an almost full bottle of AS collecting dust.
 

Avi

Contributor
I wonder if tastes have changed across generations and circled back around? My wife claims the classic cologne musk scents of Varvatos's (etc) smell like "old man" .. while the "soapy" smells of Truefitt and Hill smell far more youthful and interesting ? [I am next to positive by "old man" she means the kids from the 80's :)]
 
Tom Ford Tuscan leather. Smells to me like it has a base fecal note in it and it’s powerful and cloying. I don’t care for any of the Tom Ford line live smelled Vetiver included.
TF Tuscan Leather is supposed to smell like cocaine…..or so I've heard. They marketed that line originally as inspired by Studio 54 days...leather, cocaine.......
To each his own I like the scent a lot.
 
Generally so many male colognes after a few hours degenerate and give off a type of gasoline type smell? Men's floral fragrances seem to hold up better for some reason, which is probably why women's colognes, which invariably have a floral scent seem to hold up better on the fairer sex
 
Gucci Guilty Absolute. I liked the other ones, but this one reminds me of a burnt tire or something. Not sure how this is on the shelves, or even somewhat popular.
 
Tommy Hilfiger's Tommy. To me it smells like the edge of a forest after a rain storm (which I actually do like the smell of) but with the added fragrance of a large dog's dump that you have just stood in.
 
I never owned it, but the sample I sniffed years ago of Secretions Manifiques by ELdO smelled nightmarish!
With a name like that, who woulda thunk it? 😂

A woman passes you in public and says, "oh, that smells so nice! What's it called?"

"Um, Secr... er.... I mean, Aqua Velv... [inaudible muttering]"
 
Montale Greyland was disgustingly sweet and cloying. Cloying sweetness is usually the main thing that makes a scent unwearable to me. Vanilla, poorly-used tonka, excessive amounts of certain musks that enhance sugary notes...no. Puke.

As for Grey Flannel, while its opening is a bit suffocating with all that moss, the drydown of violets and sandalwood is delicious and worth the price of admission IMO. I rarely wear it because I seem to like it better than anyone else (i.e., my beloved).
 
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