The Art of the Handshake

[Austin]

Gents, I like to measure men by their handshake. When I was 19, going to college and working part-time at a hospital in West Texas, I met an old lawyer who was a board member. At that time he was in his late 70's and very friendly and talkative. He came over and introduced himself. We shook hands and talked about his career and my future career aspirations.

He was an interesting gent who worked as a wildcatter, soldier in WWII, attorney and banker. At the end of our conversation, he mentioned that he liked my handshake. He said you have a solid and firm handshake. He told me that he measured the worth of a man by his handshake. He told me that a man with a firm handshake is a man you can trust. He told me to not to trust men that have weak or soft handshakes. They don't tell the truth.

I think this old lawyer was pretty astute. He was a wise man.

 

[Left Coast DJ]

Dude... it's all about the Fist Bump now.

 

[Austin]

Dude... it's all about the Fist Bump now.

 

[SpyvSpy]

I agree with that old timer, hand shakes can say alot about a person.

 

[RichGem]

Gents, I like to measure men by their handshake. When I was 19, going to college and working part-time at a hospital in West Texas, I met an old lawyer who was a board member. At that time he was in his late 70's and very friendly and talkative. He came over and introduced himself. We shook hands and talked about his career and my future career aspirations.

He was an interesting gent who worked as a wildcatter, soldier in WWII, attorney and banker. At the end of our conversation, he mentioned that he liked my handshake. He said you have a solid and firm handshake. He told me that he measured the worth of a man by his handshake. He told me that a man with a firm handshake is a man you can trust. He told me to not to trust men that have weak or soft handshakes. They don't tell the truth.

I think this old lawyer was pretty astute. He was a wise man.

+1. I hate it, but it seems like more and more of the "younger" guys give you a dead fish for a handshake. If they shake hands at all. Ugh.

 

[bishop]

I tend to agree here, but I can also think of a few sleazeballs I've met who offered a solid handshake.

 

[Robxcarlson]

What I hate is when you go to shake someone's hand and they reach too soon and grab your fingers... Please tell me I'm not the only one this has happened to.

 

[tsmba]

According to "The Ultimate Man's Survival Guide", a "proper handshake for a gentleman is "grasp the other man's hand firmly, then release it".
I'm a firm believer in firm handshakes. I rarely give much thought to a handshake, unless its the dreaded limp, dead fish shake. Somehow, those make me feel a bit unclean.

 

[Kratos]

The flip side of the limp wrist is Mr. Vice grip, who apparently has everything to prove. Handshakes, along with other body language, say a lot about someone.

 

[tsmba]

I know what you mean....some guys seem to have an almost sadistic streak, as if crushing someone's hand show they are a "better man".

Shaking hands with a woman is more difficult for me. I want the handshake to be firm, but have had the woman act as though my grip hurt her.

 

[chainfire]

I wish I had a good handshake, but I've suffered with sweaty palms my whole life. In addition, I guess I'm too young -39- and unsophisticated -grew up in a small town- to really understand the whole idea behind feeling a man's worth is tied to his handshake. It wasn't until I was working in Washington at 18 that I even started having to shake hands. At this point, I'm definitely not advocating the fist bump, but I'd almost prefer a bowing system like Japan uses.

 

[mmack66]

from CareerBuilder.com:

10 nightmarish handshakes to avoid

To evade making a bad first impression, losing a business deal or simply embarrassing yourself, take heed of Holland and Brody's 10 terrible grips to avoid:

The "macho cowboy"... is the almost bone-crunching clasp many businessmen use to shake hands. What are they trying to prove, anyway? There's no need to demonstrate your physical strength when shaking another person's hand.

The wimp... is usually delivered by men who are afraid to "hurt the little lady" when shaking women's hands. Modern female professionals expect their male counterparts to convey the same respect they'd show their male colleagues.

The "dead fish"... conveys no power. While there's no need to revert to the macho cowboy death grip, a firm clasp is more powerful than one that barely grabs the hand.

The "four finger"... is when the person's hand never meets your palm, and instead clasps all four fingers, crushing them together.

The cold and clammy... feels like you're shaking hands with a snake. Warm up your hand first before grabbing someone else's.

The sweaty palm... is pretty self-explanatory, and pretty gross. Talcum powder to the rescue.

The "I've got you covered" grip... happens when the other person covers your hand with his or her left hand as if your shake is secretive.

The "I won't let go"... seems to go on for eternity because the other person won't drop his or her hand. After two or three pumps, it's time to let go. "It's a lot like a kiss -- you know when it's over," Brody says.

The "southpaw"... happens when the person uses the left hand to shake because the right hand has food or a drink. Always carry your drink and plate with your left hand to keep your right one free for meet and greets.

The "ringed torture"... occurs when the person's rings hurt your hand. Try to limit the number of rings you wear on the right hand to only one or two and be mindful of any that have large stones.


Three steps to a proper handshake

Some other things to keep in mind:

As you're approaching someone, extend your right arm when you're about three feet away. Slightly angle your arm across your chest, with your thumb pointing up.

Lock hands, thumb joint to thumb joint. Then, firmly clasp the other person's hand -- without any bone crushing or macho posturing.

Pump the other person's hand two to three times and let go.

 

[David in Boston]

The flip side of the limp wrist is Mr. Vice grip, who apparently has everything to prove. Handshakes, along with other body language, say a lot about someone.

Mr. Vice grip really makes my day sometimes.

I do believe a firm handshake is proper etc.

However, when my tennis elbow is acting up, Damn!

 

[Sue]

I always extend my hand to men first as is proper. I don't like the 'dead fish' shake either. If a man has baby butt smooth hands, the flashing brain light generally blinks 'lazy', (sorry to any baby butt hands).

I used to know a man who took great pleasure in shaking hands with ppl who irritated him, he'd put them on their knees shaking hands and then walk away.
Sue

 

[masonjarjar]

I keep getting my fingers crushed in some dudes vice grip. once you're there you're stuck.

sorry but that's lame.

and I do not believe a man's character can be surmised by a handshake either.

what's important to you might not be important to me.

 

[sir_towel_rack]

I'm not so sure whether to believe you can "learn a lot" about a man from his handshake... however I'm aware that this perception exists, and as such I always remind myself to make my handshakes more firm. If the person's handshake is more firm than my own, I try to match it, or nearly match it, during the handshake. No point in having a first impression be tainted by something as trivial as this.

 

[Emmett]

I don't believe it says anything about a person other than that they value a firm handshake.

 

[mmack66]

I'm not so sure whether to believe you can "learn a lot" about a man from his handshake...

Studies have shown that the information gathered about a man during a handshake is just slightly more than the information gained by looking at a man's shoes.

 

[Kratos]

I don't think the handshake alone is all people go off of. At least it's not for me. It's a combination of how someone carries himself, walks, all that.

 

[_JP_]

Dude... it's all about the Fist Bump now.

That's called the "Dap." Gaining popularity because of germophobia.

While a firm handshake is the goal, the vice grip squeeze is not. A handshake is not a contest! And both parties should take care to insure that one is not squeezing the others fingers. Connect first, then grip.