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Six Saltines in a Minute

OK, so as The Speakeasy is dedicated to "the finer pursuits in life," I thought, where better to boast of my most classy accomplishment from this evening. I was told, as I'm sure some of you have heard, that it's impossible to eat six saltines in under a minute without taking a drink. The first three were easy, but they quickly soaked up all the saliva in my mouth and the last three managed to scrape their dry selves down my throat in 58 seconds.

So, a challenge: can anyone else eat six in a minute?

(I realize that I'm at high risk of posting a thread that gets zero responses here, but I'm in the mood for being silly, so don't judge me too harshly fellow B&Bers!)
 
HAHAHA, there is no way I could've whistled. Have you ever swallowed a chip you didn't quite chew properly and it cut your esophagus the entire way down? Well, my throat feels like that now... And, of course, my mouth was so void of saliva I could barely give the timer an appropriate exclamation of success!
 

Luc

"To Wiki or Not To Wiki, That's The Question".
Staff member
OK, so as The Speakeasy is dedicated to "the finer pursuits in life," I thought, where better to boast of my most classy accomplishment from this evening. I was told, as I'm sure some of you have heard, that it's impossible to eat six saltines in under a minute without taking a drink. The first three were easy, but they quickly soaked up all the saliva in my mouth and the last three managed to scrape their dry selves down my throat in 58 seconds.

So, a challenge: can anyone else eat six in a minute?

(I realize that I'm at high risk of posting a thread that gets zero responses here, but I'm in the mood for being silly, so don't judge me too harshly fellow B&Bers!)

If you follow the wikihow on how to do this, it should help
http://www.wikihow.com/Eat-Six-Saltine-Crackers-in-One-Minute

Also, I saw a challenge... http://drmomentum.com/challenge/saltine_challenge.html

pics youtube or it didn't happen. :wink:

:lol::lol::lol:
 
Please do tell.


Oh and after six saltines I thought you were suppose to whistle dixie.....:wink:
This is gonna be a long, disgusting ride, so hang tight.

February, 2003. Cleveland, OH. Campus of Cleveland State University. 1:45 A.M.

I'm in a practice room on the lower level of the Music and Communications building when I hear a ruckus. Lots of swearing, lots of loud voices, and I investigate. It's three of my friends from the music department, Matt, Mike and Scott. I ask what they're arguing about, and Scott says "This guy here (Mike) says I can't down a gallon of milk in one sitting." Scott is a massive human being at 6'5", 340 lbs. If anyone can do it, I would think it would be him.

I decide to get in on the bet. My girlfriend is out of town for the weekend and I wanted to do something with the guys. It's actually a fairly cheap bet; all you need is money for a gallon of milk. Us four went to the most dilapidated grocery store around, Dave's Supermarket on Payne Avenue downtown. It's interesting enough to go there in the daytime, but after 10:00 p.m., it's like outpatient night in that place.

So we each get our own gallon of whole milk. This, as it turned out, would be a mistake. We went back to Mike's apartment, popped in the movie "Blade", and started chugging our milk. I was about 75% of the way done with my milk, and everyone else was, too. Then, the most ungodly sound on earth came from my guts; sort of a mixture between the sound that gets made when you haven't had anything to eat and someone blowing into a straw that's sitting in a milkshake. Soon, there was a chorus of these vile noises and we all looked at each other in horror, afraid to move. I said "Maybe if we..."

...and then it happened.

I jettisoned the contents of my stomach like a 12-gauge flings a slug and everyone else followed suit. None of us made it to the bathroom that night and the cleanup was one of the single worst things that, to this day, I have ever gone through.

As it turns out, milk is a pretty rich and complex foodstuff. There's lots of different enzymes that occur naturally in it and the body can only take so much of it at one time. Once you overload on the stuff, the body will turn you into a puke cannon in one split-second. Trust me, even the heartiest of eaters should never, ever try this. It's just not possible to keep it down.

Yeah, not the prettiest story, but there it is.
 
We used to, as kids of course, do a similar gag with Drake's dounettes. Only we added a twist. While one guy tried to stuff a whole tube down his throat the other guys would try to make him laugh.

Of course there is also the cinnamon challenge, start here:[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hMSWwimVgM&feature=PlayList&p=0BF7F24A4BCEA45C&index=0[/YOUTUBE]
 
This is gonna be a long, disgusting ride, so hang tight.

February, 2003. Cleveland, OH. Campus of Cleveland State University. 1:45 A.M.

I'm in a practice room on the lower level of the Music and Communications building when I hear a ruckus. Lots of swearing, lots of loud voices, and I investigate. It's three of my friends from the music department, Matt, Mike and Scott. I ask what they're arguing about, and Scott says "This guy here (Mike) says I can't down a gallon of milk in one sitting." Scott is a massive human being at 6'5", 340 lbs. If anyone can do it, I would think it would be him.

I decide to get in on the bet. My girlfriend is out of town for the weekend and I wanted to do something with the guys. It's actually a fairly cheap bet; all you need is money for a gallon of milk. Us four went to the most dilapidated grocery store around, Dave's Supermarket on Payne Avenue downtown. It's interesting enough to go there in the daytime, but after 10:00 p.m., it's like outpatient night in that place.

So we each get our own gallon of whole milk. This, as it turned out, would be a mistake. We went back to Mike's apartment, popped in the movie "Blade", and started chugging our milk. I was about 75% of the way done with my milk, and everyone else was, too. Then, the most ungodly sound on earth came from my guts; sort of a mixture between the sound that gets made when you haven't had anything to eat and someone blowing into a straw that's sitting in a milkshake. Soon, there was a chorus of these vile noises and we all looked at each other in horror, afraid to move. I said "Maybe if we..."

...and then it happened.

I jettisoned the contents of my stomach like a 12-gauge flings a slug and everyone else followed suit. None of us made it to the bathroom that night and the cleanup was one of the single worst things that, to this day, I have ever gone through.

As it turns out, milk is a pretty rich and complex foodstuff. There's lots of different enzymes that occur naturally in it and the body can only take so much of it at one time. Once you overload on the stuff, the body will turn you into a puke cannon in one split-second. Trust me, even the heartiest of eaters should never, ever try this. It's just not possible to keep it down.

Yeah, not the prettiest story, but there it is.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Thank you SO much for sharing that! :a14:
 
Us four went to the most dilapidated grocery store around, Dave's Supermarket on Payne Avenue downtown. It's interesting enough to go there in the daytime, but after 10:00 p.m., it's like outpatient night in that place.

This is very close to where my car got broken into last year. I've got plenty of Cleveland State stories, none quite as gastro-graphic as yours but its very cool to hear from someone else who's "been around" this area. You're right -- extremely sketchy place. If anyone still has questions, YouTube "hastily made Cleveland tourism video." (parts 1 and 2) :lol:
 
This is very close to where my car got broken into last year. I've got plenty of Cleveland State stories, none quite as gastro-graphic as yours but its very cool to hear from someone else who's "been around" this area. You're right -- extremely sketchy place. If anyone still has questions, YouTube "hastily made Cleveland tourism video." (parts 1 and 2) :lol:
I spent a summer in Cleveland at my friend Mike's apartment.

E. 64th and St. Clair.

I don't think I need to tell you anymore.
 
My friends and I did the milk chug a couple of years ago....
We did it in the park outside the store. One of my friends realized after about half a gallon that his milk was sour. That pretty much set the chain in motion.

Everything smelled like cheese for about two weeks after that.

The feeling of ejecting a gallon of milk in a stream as thick as my forearm that's still ice cold was among the more surreal things that I have ever experienced.
 
To answer your original question: no. I have seen it done, I know it is possible, and I can accomplish many food-based feats. I have great shame in my inability to conquer six crackers. Some day I will train my son to excel at this, though he will have to overcome many hardships, he will eat those crackers in under a minute while I watch on; a single tear rolling down my face. Ed Norton will play me in the movie.
 
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