Shaving with cream cheese?
- Thread starter chriss
- Start date
Cheese Wiz is a better performer than cream cheese when it comes to shaving. Cream cheese is too thick and clogs up the razor. YMMV
[scene: grocery store dairy aisle. One employee standing centre-stage; next to him a middle-aged man with noticeable stubble. They appear to have been engaged in a conversation, in the midst of which the Employee has stopped and is shouting over his shoulder.]
Employee: "Harry, do we have any cream cheese with something called 'dallow' in it?"
Man: "it's 'tallow' ... with a 't' ..."
E'e: "'tallow', Harry, with a 't'"
Man: "lime scented if you have it ..."
E'e: "got it in lime, Harry?"
offstage voice: "I got cream cheese in a shallow container ... that what he wants?"
E'e: "a shallow contai..."
Man: "no, not 'shallow' ... 'tallow' ... it's for shaving."
E'e: "It's for shaving, Harry."
offstage voice: "For shaving? Aw, heck, why didn't you say so! We have a load of expired cottage cheese that's being shipped to the Williams Mug factory this afternoon. We can sell you some of that!"
Employee: "Harry, do we have any cream cheese with something called 'dallow' in it?"
Man: "it's 'tallow' ... with a 't' ..."
E'e: "'tallow', Harry, with a 't'"
Man: "lime scented if you have it ..."
E'e: "got it in lime, Harry?"
offstage voice: "I got cream cheese in a shallow container ... that what he wants?"
E'e: "a shallow contai..."
Man: "no, not 'shallow' ... 'tallow' ... it's for shaving."
E'e: "It's for shaving, Harry."
offstage voice: "For shaving? Aw, heck, why didn't you say so! We have a load of expired cottage cheese that's being shipped to the Williams Mug factory this afternoon. We can sell you some of that!"
Hey, why not? Could be the better mouse trap. 
Ah, the new canned goo.
JCinPA
The Lather Maestro
I'm willing to bet someone will try this and post about it tomorrow. Any takers?
Interesting... Seinfeld's Kramer loved butter, but cream cheese...
He also showered with lettuce.
What about shaving with that cheese sauce in a jar. You warm it up to make it viscous. The heat breaks down the whiskers. There is something in the that makes it slick to run off a chip and the protein must be good for your cells. Finish up with a little refried bean balm and you're good to go.
"I dream of CC" -- new custom title. 
I prefer bacon grease, and the scent lasts all day!
Guess I didn't get enough sleep last night because my boss commented that my shave wasn't the greatest he'd seen, but he wanted to know what kind of mouthwash I had used... said my breath was like Irish Spring
Some men dream of wealth and fame
Others of some buxom dame
Some have nightmares filled with fear
Some relive their yesteryears
Chriss finds such conventions silly
He'd rather dream he shaved with Philly
So if you chance to share his table
Check for Arko on your bagel
Others of some buxom dame
Some have nightmares filled with fear
Some relive their yesteryears
Chriss finds such conventions silly
He'd rather dream he shaved with Philly
So if you chance to share his table
Check for Arko on your bagel
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Great job here, Topgumby! You're obviously a man of letters. I was wondering if whipped cream would work as a shave cream. But I wasn't wondering enough to try it myself.
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