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SCAD PIF and Caption Contest

It appears a wet shaver parked his car on my street last week:
$SCAD.jpg

The CONUS B&Ber with the best caption for this pic will be PIF'd a 2/3 full tub of GFT shave cream, a once-used tube of Every Man Jack Sensitive brushless shave cream, as well as some random DE blades floating around in my cabinet. Not much, but I'm not a big accumulator (unlike the poor bloke driving this vehicle) so it's the best I can do and this pic deserves a PIF!

I'll get us started: Either a desperate cry for help or scarlet letters affixed by a significant other fed up by the Paypal charges, the dwindling cabinet shelf space, and the constant visits by the UPS truck. We may never know this wet shaver's story, except that we know it all too well... as it is our story too.

Please note if you are in for the PIF with your caption contributions. I'll pick the best entry on Wednesday afternoon.
 
This shaver has moved on to the second step that there is a power greater than himself to restore his sanity, the first was admitting his problem.
 
I only had to buy 3 tubs of MDC and chew a stick of ARKO to ward of the shakes long enough to put this sticker on straight.

If we're allowed more than one..

Banished from the house by SWMBO this shaver took to detailing the car

Edit: I'm in.
 
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My SWMBO has banished me to sleep in the back of my car until I make a choice between my collection and her.

You can figure out which I chose from my new bumper sticker.
 
Thanks, I'm in! It's amazing how many wet-shaving drivers have to upgrade to hatchbacks to fit a few more tubs of cream in there...
 
Admitting I have a problem means that I am not in denial. If denial is a symptom of having this disorder and I am not in denial, then I don't have a problem...Right?

Edit: I'm in.
 
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"While attending the Savannah College of Art and Design, Johnny wondered why so many well shaved men were winking at him...."

(just for fun, Don't count me in).
 
"My parents were so proud when they heard I'd enrolled in the Savannah College of Art and Design. But ever since getting this sticker, they are constantly approached by cleanly shaven men asking "So what's your favorite cream?" or "How do you feel about Arko? Urinal cake or industrial cleaner?""

Update: Aww, nuts, I didn't realize someone else beat me to it. Well, I'll still leave it up.
 
Ah, I see you've spotted the SCAD mobile. Treating creams like methodone, the SCAD mobile travels around from town to town, passing out CF, GFT, TH, TOBS, and MdC in an attempt to cure cases of SCAD popping up all over. Its big burly, bearded men hand out samples to smooth faced wetshavers all over the US. Their work is never done.

I'm in.
 
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You can hear the music from almost half a mile away on a quiet day. Then, next thing you know, you're racing all the other smoothfaced men into the street shouting "The SCAD truck is here, the SCAD truck is here!!!"
 
You guys make it tough to choose. Thanks for having some fun with it! Honorable mentions all around, but the winner is Zamonium. I went back and read them all through again in reverse order but the visual evoked by this entry made me laugh out loud. Congrats! PM me your snail mail address and I'll get the stuff on its way. Hopefully it will satisfy any SCAD for a bit.

You can hear the music from almost half a mile away on a quiet day. Then, next thing you know, you're racing all the other smoothfaced men into the street shouting "The SCAD truck is here, the SCAD truck is here!!!"
 
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