Pirate Jokes (especially the corny ones)

[Doc4]

True story: many years ago, a B&B member posted about how he disliked woolen boxer briefs, as he found that it was too itchy on his more delicate regions. Shortly thereafter, he received the custom title ...

"wool: it drives me nuts"

 

[Atlantic59]

Q: Why don't you ever see a pirate cry?

A: Because when they do, it's a private tear.

 

[Doc4]

What do you call a ship full of buccaneers who constantly write letters to their relatives?

Spoiler

the Pirates of pens aunts

 

[Doc4]

Why don't pirates ever question their own existence?

... because they just arrrrr.

 

[BigLeegr]

A sailor runs up to the captain "Captain!! There's a pirate ship fast approaching!"
"Fetch me my sword and my red shirt!" The pirates attack, there's a big fight with the captain leading the defense and the pirates are repelled.
Next day: "Captain!! There are 2 pirate ships approaching!"
"Fetch my sword and my red shirt!"
Again there's a big fight and again the pirates are repelled.
"Captain, why do you always ask for your red shirt?"
"I wear a red shirt so the men will see me lead them into battle and give them courage. Also the men won't see if I'm bleeding."
Next day: "Captain!! There are 5 pirate ships coming!!" "Fetch my sword and my brown pants!"

 

[HazMat Shaver]

Custom titles...
I used to have one but i see it was removed.

 

[Doc4]

Custom titles...
I used to have one but i see it was removed.

Pirates stole it.





(B&B had custom titles, handed out at the whim of the Moderators to longstanding members who said something silly or embarrassing) but several years ago a software upgrade did not include the custom title function. Eventually, a subsequent upgrade restored the capacity ... but we all had to re-earn our new and improved custom titles. So ... get to work sayin' somethin' stoopid.)

 

[Jmp63]

So ... get to work sayin' somethin' stoopid.)

@KeenDogg Why do I expect @FarmerTan to show up in this thread soon?

 

[KeenDogg]

@KeenDogg Why do I expect @FarmerTan to show up in this thread soon?

He's everywhere, all seeing. A joke rare earth magnet among a pile of iron oxide.

 

[FarmerTan]

He's everywhere, all seeing. A joke rare earth magnet among a pile of iron oxide.

That is perhaps the kindest thing you have ever said to me in our years long bromance my friend!

 

[FarmerTan]

To Pirate: "Are you really 80 years old?"
Pirate: "Aye Matey."

This was much too hard for dyslexics.

 

[KeenDogg]

That is perhaps the kindest thing you have ever said to me in our years long bromance my friend!

You're kind of growing on me, you big lug.

 

[FarmerTan]

Pirates stole it.





(B&B had custom titles, handed out at the whim of the Moderators to longstanding members who said something silly or embarrassing) but several years ago a software upgrade did not include the custom title function. Eventually, a subsequent upgrade restored the capacity ... but we all had to re-earn our new and improved custom titles. So ... get to work sayin' somethin' stoopid.)

This is MUCH easier for some of us than for others...

 

[ewk]

You're kind of growing on me, you big lug.

 

[KeenDogg]

View attachment 1344362

Exactly.

 

[luvmysuper]

You're kind of growing on me, you big lug.

 

[FarmerTan]

^ So now I'm parasitic.... ^

 

[luvmysuper]

What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A pumpkin patch.

 

[KeenDogg]

^ So now I'm parasitic.... ^

What do you mean by "now"?

 

[luvmysuper]

^ So now I'm parasitic.... ^

A nice plant is better than fungus. Just sayin'