What is a pirate's favorite lobbying organization?
A.A.R.P.
A.A.R.P.
Pirate Jokes (especially the corny ones)
- Thread starter threevok
- Start date
How much did the pirate pay for their piercings?
A buccaneer!
A buccaneer!
Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
- Thread starter
- #5
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
At a second hand store.
At a second hand store.
What did the pirates dog say?
Aaarf!
My six year old told me this one!
Aaarf!
My six year old told me this one!
What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
Yarrr, a rookie
Yarrr, a rookie
To Pirate: "Are you really 80 years old?"
Pirate: "Aye Matey."
Pirate: "Aye Matey."
A pirate waddles uncomfortably into a bar. The bartender says, "It looks like you've got a ship's wheel down yer pantaloons!" The pirate responds, "Aye, yer right, matey - it's drivin' me nuts!"
You're welcome...
You're welcome...
Two pirates, who haven't seen each other in years, meet in a tavern. One looks at the other and says "Shiver me timbers. Here you are with a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch. What happened?"
"T'was a run of' bad luck. First I fell overboard and a shark took off me leg. When I got me peg leg, I fell onto me bottle o' rum, and cut it up me hand so, they had to take it off. Then I was walking the deck, looked up, and a gull pooped in me eye."
"Gull poop took out your eye?'
"T'was me first day with the hook."
"T'was a run of' bad luck. First I fell overboard and a shark took off me leg. When I got me peg leg, I fell onto me bottle o' rum, and cut it up me hand so, they had to take it off. Then I was walking the deck, looked up, and a gull pooped in me eye."
"Gull poop took out your eye?'
"T'was me first day with the hook."
Chandu
I Waxed The Badger.
Courtesy of Shell Silverstein
Captain Hook must remember
Not to scratch his toes.
Captain Hook must watch out
And never pick his nose.
Captain Hook must be gentle
When he shakes your hand.
Captain Hook must be careful
Openin' sardine cans
And playing tag and pouring tea
And turnin' pages of his book.
Lots of folks I'm glad I ain't--
But mostly Captain Hook!
Captain Hook must remember
Not to scratch his toes.
Captain Hook must watch out
And never pick his nose.
Captain Hook must be gentle
When he shakes your hand.
Captain Hook must be careful
Openin' sardine cans
And playing tag and pouring tea
And turnin' pages of his book.
Lots of folks I'm glad I ain't--
But mostly Captain Hook!
What kind of movies to pirates like ?
Ones that are rated Aarrrr
How do they go to The movies ?
In a carrr
Ones that are rated Aarrrr
How do they go to The movies ?
In a carrr
How do ye turn a pirate furious?
Take away the “p.”
Take away the “p.”
Doctor to Pirate: "Have you ever been bedridden?"
Pirate: "Aye, and once in a dory"
Pirate: "Aye, and once in a dory"
I am stealing that.A pirate waddles uncomfortably into a bar. The bartender says, "It looks like you've got a ship's wheel down yer pantaloons!" The pirate responds, "Aye, yer right, matey - it's drivin' me nuts!"
You're welcome...
What's a pirates favorite letter? Nope, it is not rrrr, his first love is the c.
Thanks alot... now my computer screen is covered in coffee!A pirate waddles uncomfortably into a bar. The bartender says, "It looks like you've got a ship's wheel down yer pantaloons!" The pirate responds, "Aye, yer right, matey - it's drivin' me nuts!"
You're welcome...
Every time I say, “geez, that’s driving me nuts!”, this joke comes to mind. And now it will for you, too.Thanks alot... now my computer screen is covered in coffee!
Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground? Because booty is only shin deep!
Why can pirates never learn the full alphabet?
Because they always get stuck at C!
Because they always get stuck at C!
