PIF - A little horse

[Pkrankow]

This is really a "den reduction" event. I ordered 2 cheap horse hair brushes a few months ago.
http://shop.bestshave.net/plastic-handle-shaving-brush-no7-p-80.html

I am using one. It is a pleasantly scritchy brush, but low in density. It builds surprising amounts of lather compared to my larger dense badger brushes. I think it needs a break-in similar to boar, and rather hope my brush gets slightly softer tips soon. My brush goes hollow when lathered, but this does not seem to affect the lathering. It is an odd little brush.

Up for grabs is one NEW black handle HORSE hair brush and a NEW stick of Arko soap. The shipping was more than the bush which is why I ordered 2 (and a box of Arko).

***I am looking for funny stories (one-liners all the way to shaggy dogs allowed) related to WATER.***

Winner will be chosen via some means to be determined (randomly probably) Friday, April 26. Domestic US addresses due to shipping costs.

I'll try to get a picture of the actual brush up, but I haven't figured out my new camera/phone yet.

Phil

 

[Shenanigans]

Count me in! I've always wanted to try a Horse hair brush!

Well my story about water - not too pleasant for me but here it goes.

I went to Mazatlan, Mexico when I was 15 with my folks and a buddy of mine. Upon checking into the hotel I was parched and needed water, desperately! My Mother, who speaks Spanish fluently, told me when I asked for water to make sure to emphasize that it "Had to be BOTTLED or FILTERED!" I took heed of the advice but of course she led by example and got me the water when we first arrived.

Two days later I when back to the front desk and asked the Concierge for filtered water, in what was my best attempt at Spanish. He came back with a glass full of water and I downed that puppy like a camel in the Sahara.

That night, and for two more days I was sicker than a dog - I had a serious case of Chilean mudslides and it wasn't pretty.

Upon leaving the hotel my Mom informs the concierge that I got really sick and that she wanted to know what type of water he gave me. The concierge politely said something to the extent of that "Your son asked for filtered water, so that's what I gave him" in Spanish. He then took us through a back room, down a hallway, then outside which he pointed to a spigot with a rag over it and said "La filtura." Which in Spanish means, "The Filter."

I'll never drink the water in Mexico again, ever.

Shenanigans

 

[tlentz]

Count me in, horse hair is something I haven't seen around these parts. Not your typical one liner but;

you know the reason most guys don't use horse hair brushes is because though you can lead them to water, you can't make them drink! Which of course could be an issue when trying to make lather!

 

[Pkrankow]

I am slightly disappointed. The brush handles are sightly different and I am giving up the more interesting looking one.

Keep the stories coming. Serious, punny, or funny!

Phil

 

[Oscroft]

Those are decent brushes (I have one and I like it just fine), but a lot of people are convinced they're really boar - mine is indistinguishable from boar and very different from my Vie-long horsehair brushes

 

[Lamboy]

Im In. I hope this really is horse hair as I am very curious how it compares to boars and badgers.

I am a native Floridian and I basically have lived in the water for most of my childhood. Many stories come up, but I think a good laugh at my expense is in order .

Before my teens I used to stay with my aunt and uncle in the Florida Keys during summer. I used to enjoy the sun, the waves, and most of all fishing til I dropped. One day about 8 or 9 years old at the time. I was fishing off a local dock. I got a huge bite and set the hook like one is supposed to. I still to this day don't know what I hooked, but safe to say it was way larger than me easily as it pulled me, my rod, and my ambition off the dock and into the water. It happened so fast I only remember pulling then seeing small coral fish in front of my eyes under water. A moment later my father who was there with me pulled me out of the water by my shirt (kind of like a small pup by the neck) and plopped my butt on the dock and just laughed. Still love fishing and would love to have a fish do that to me again now that I am grown up.

 

[wyofish]

Im in ! I would love to own a horse hair brush!

My Grand father is a Pastor and my Father was a traveling evangelist growing up. One Sunday when I was in my early teens another evangelist with a much wilder temperament than i was used to was speaking at my Grandfathers church. By wilder i don't mean the man was louder or more boisterous. I mean he was a loose cannon. That is usually why i loved to hear him speak. it was common for the Ministry folk to get together for coffee before the service (about 6 am). While in the middle of the usual old timer story telling that went on during this coffee hour, The Incoming Evangelist looks at my grandfather and said "im sorry but this is Canoe Coffee". My Grandfather confused asked what that was . The Evangelist said " you know canoe coffee .... The coffee is like making love in a canoe!" still quite bewildered and curious my Grandfather said "sorry brother, but I still don't follow". In final exasperation the Evangelist stated "this coffee is F*cking near water" ........ One of the most hilarious moments of my younger years!

 

[Oscroft]

I'm out, because I already have one (and I'm not in the US anyway), but I do have a sort of water story...

Many years ago I was trekking in Nepal, and arrived at the night's lodge much later than planned, well after dark. I needed a toilet, so I wandered out in the pitch dark (it was cloudy in the mountains with no moon or stars) and across the yard I found a wooden fence with a door in it. I opened it and found quite a comfortable toilet - so I sat down and passed a few beneficial minutes. Next morning I went back to the toilet and discovered it was on a wooden platform sticking out over a cliff, with a hole in the floor and a river about a hundred feet below.

 

[Pkrankow]

Lamboy's story makes me want to share one.

I grew up on Lake Erie. I was 5, fishing with my family on my parents' boat, sitting in the back on the engine box. The running top was up for shade. I hooked into what I though was a snag. It pulled my rod (an old green Zebco) down and the tip jammed under the stern cleat. Dad said "That's no snag, reel it in!" Over what seemed like all day, and really was likely a large part of an hour I reeled in one of the biggest walleye I have ever laid eyes on. The fish weighed in at 12 pounds, and seemed longer than I was tall at the time! (That is really what everybody was saying, weight/length charts say it should have been about 32 inches) I was not able to carry it in from the boat at least.

It was delicious!

Phil

 

[BarbaGnosa]

Great PIF.

WHAT LURKS IN THE DEEP

In the summer of '75, at age eleven, I was desperate -- DESPERATE -- to see Jaws, THE MUSTEST SEE movie EVER. Of course, my kid brother, eight, was also desperate to see it, at least half because I was. I nudged, and nudged, and begged and argued. So, it's PG -- lots of kids are going anyway. But, Maaaaaa, I HAVE to see it! EVERYONE's seen it already! They're gonna think I'm a sissy or something. No, I PROMISE I won't have nightmares, and if I do, I'll just keep quiet about them.

My mom, not a lover of horror flicks, finally succumbed and let me go. But for a price: as long as I took my little bro along, and got us both off her back for an afternoon.

WOW, I was going to see the scarriest, adult movie that EVERYONE said was the coolest movie ever! Ok, I had to drag along my little brother, but whatever. He'd sit quietly and shut up. Of course, we had to have some popcorn swimming in butter, and my brother got a nice, big, big-boy soda. I made him to take a leak before the movie, and told him to go easy on the soda.

The movie, as advertised, was the BEST, SCARIEST movie either of us had ever seen. We were both riveted, shivvering in the dark, chilly, packed summer movie theater. This was LIVING. But little bro was so excited, he was just suckin that soda down. I'm sitting there at the edge of my seat, completely wrapt, when about 2/3 the way through the movie someone's tapping me: my little brother tells me he has to go -- and needs me to take him! I knew it! I had told him before the movie! I was not gonna take him to the restroom: He was old enough now to finally go to the to the bathroom himself! With hushed annoyance I told him: I told you not to drink so much soda and I wasn't gonna take you to the bathroom. Go yourself or just hold it! He shut up for about 10-15 minutes, but if you know Jaws this is when they set out to sea to hunt the shark, and the movie just gets more and more intense -- there IS no obvious time to take a break. Like clock work (water works) he started sighing, and nudging me, which at first I ignored until finally I was forced to give him my most righteous, it's YOUR fault so you deal with it: don't be a baby, GO yourself! just loud and vehement enough to shame him into either doing it or shutting up. He sat there dancing in his seat, unable to sit still or get up and go.

The last 15 minutes of Jaws is nothing but water, water, screams, chills, thrills, and more water. And there's nothing like screaming your face off in a freezing movie theater, packed to the gills. I couldn't BELIEVE it! OMG!

I finally sat back as the credits rolled and my brother now quietly grabbed my arm. What? He mumbled something, very shame faced. He oughta be shame faced, for pulling that baby stuff. Now I was ready to take him to the bathroom. He pulled my arm again, and was pulling me in close. What?! Trying to be careful not to let on to anyone nearby, who were all getting up and going anyway, that he -- nervous glances around -- couldn't hold it. What?!?! You what? I looked down and saw, even in the darkly lit theater, the dark stain around his crotch, and then smelled it. Drenched myself with cold sweat from chills and pumped up summer movie theater air-conditioning, I suddenly found myself flooded with anger -- and guilt. Now I was gonna have to help him mop up his baby ****, but the even deeper water I was in was that as far as Mom, and worse Dad, were gonna be concerned, it would be my fault! I was supposed to be the big brother!

Which it was. Mom and Dad were at first angry with me, but then, as we both told our stories, their initial annoyance and our shame and opposing righteous anger all melted into laughter of kid summer horror flick adventures! When you take a step back and think about it, you can't help laughing. We've all been there on some level. It's an oft retold story in our family to this day.

Jaws came out about 38 years ago now, and I still can't pass it up when it's on. I just acquired the blue ray version last summer. And I still tremble with the echo of those first ones, so long ago, although now informed by another kind of fear.

When you're a kid you're taught and reminded and drilled that you've got to grow up and that means getting a grip on yourself, and getting organized, and doing what you have to do to be responsible, and everything will work out fine. Once you're an adult, it'll all be ok. And, of course, at the root of that was getting over your fears and just getting on with life. Yet, now as an adult, long past the age when I can even joke about "when I grow up" -- I know better. You get along, you go along, you do what you have to do along the way, and muddle through. But that doesn't necessarily mean you really know how it's all going to work out, that everything is or will be, in fact, fine. That underneath it all, there remain unanswered questions and mysteries we deal with by putting them just out of sight, and out of mind, for if we couldn't, we couldn't get through the day. No less the night. And, one way or another, for the most part, we abide. For the most part our dreams are but summer romances, fantasies, adventures, but our worst nightmares for the most part remain that as well, and an occasional horror movie. But, every now and then we can't help but being reminded. Every now and again the horror breaks through, breaks free and shows itself in the light of day. Every now and again our nightmares come true, and Jaws is real.

Even after all this time, not once in all those years have I been swimming in the ocean or a lake (and I spend time every summer on a lake) without worrying on some level, however passing (or not), however softly (or sharply), however irrationally (or not) about sharks and whatever other dangers might (must) lurk in the deep... just out of sight and control. No matter how I try to rationalize it to myself, and I have a lot of education and mental prowess to do just that, there's the inescapable undertow of that deeper, darker, older lizard brain, the more primal emotional current which whispers from the depths, the dark:

ultimately, no matter how big you are, how much you know, how much you've learned, there's always something... something out there beyond our knowledge, reason, beyond planning, best intentions, beyond our control... something's down there, hungry, waiting....

 

[Pkrankow]

Awesome story BarbaGnosa.

Keep them coming.

Phil

 

[Dalejr]

PIF title is misleading, where is the little horse???

 

[Toothpick]

PIF title is misleading, where is the little horse???

View attachment 327858

This reminds me of a book the folks had "shoot low boys - the're riding Shetland ponies"

As for the PIF count me in. Never used a horse hair.

Wanna hear a dirty joke?...a kid jumped in a mud puddle.
Wanna hear a clean one?....he took a bath.

 

[Mo-beffah]

Please count me in.
I am born and raised on Oahu, Hawaii. I have been a City & County lifeguard for going on seven years. I hear dumb questions EVERYDAY. Where are the turtles? Are there really sharks? Where is the most fish? Etc... THIS one takes the cake. Lady walks up and says "can I ask you a stupid question?" I thought oh my, this must be good. I said "sure." She asks, "I know its called salt water, but is it really, you know, salty?" Doh!

 

[kubotta4]

hi, Nice PIF but don't count me in cause I already have a Vie LOng horsehair brush .

 

[Lamboy]

Oh JAWS!!! BarbaGnosa I couldn't properly swim in the ocean for some time after that as a kid. My Imagination was too strong.

Pkrankow wow that is a big walleye.

 

[igasho]

Grew up in landlocked Nevada where you couldnt find enough drinkable water, now Im living on Vancouver Island where I have the same problem surrounded by water

 

[neilyasno]

Definitely in! Have yet to try a horse hair brush.

Even though this is a little different from everyone else's stories. It's still about water.

I have always loved my uncle. He has been one of my favorite relatives for a long time and needless to say, I loved and still do hanging out with him. He used to be a chef and own a lunch type place. Keep in mind that my uncle is still a child at heart. He still loves to party with his friends and partake in all sorts of various stimulating activities. So, in the commercial freezer downstairs, somebody left a bottle of Greygoose from the night before. So smart little me goes, oh free drinks! After I drank some of it, and saved a little more, I realized that half of my uncles bottle was gone. Thinking quickly on my feet I replaced the missing vodka with water. Not the brightest child I was.
Needless to say the vodka froze over within a few hours. To this day, my uncle does not drink grey goose as he thinks it is watered down and cheap quality

 

[jay67212]

I'm in! My water story is this: I watched a friend of mine ask for bottled water in an African nation because "he didn't trust the tap water." I observed him also ask for ice cubes to pour the bottled H2O over. I let him drink a fair amount of it before I asked him what the ice cubes were made of. He didn't get sick, but the look on his face was priceless.

 

[memnochlv]

Definitely in! Have yet to try a horse hair brush.

Even though this is a little different from everyone else's stories. It's still about water.

I have always loved my uncle. He has been one of my favorite relatives for a long time and needless to say, I loved and still do hanging out with him. He used to be a chef and own a lunch type place. Keep in mind that my uncle is still a child at heart. He still loves to party with his friends and partake in all sorts of various stimulating activities. So, in the commercial freezer downstairs, somebody left a bottle of Greygoose from the night before. So smart little me goes, oh free drinks! After I drank some of it, and saved a little more, I realized that half of my uncles bottle was gone. Thinking quickly on my feet I replaced the missing vodka with water. Not the brightest child I was.
Needless to say the vodka froze over within a few hours. To this day, my uncle does not drink grey goose as he thinks it is watered down and cheap quality

roflmao, that reminds me of when my best friend, Stephen, and I were at his house as teenagers. So we wanted to get a little drink on and we knew his parents had some Absolut Citron Vodka. We were both lovers of all kinds of vodka and gave it a shot (keeping in mind this was before the huge flavored vodka craze). We, like you, found ourselves in a similar situation where we drank far too much and had to replace the missing liquid and of course filled it up with some water.

Funny thing is, Stephen's parents were pretty cool. One day many months later his mother offers me/us the bottle. Apparently she'd had some when they first got it, didn't particularly care for it and neither she nor her husband partook since. Of course we accepted it... it tasted much better before we diluted it by roughly half!