Pepper Spray

[RoyalKooparillo]

Hey folks,

Without going into too much detail, my SO has a mentally unstable and dangerous stalker. We are working with the police and the DA's office, but there is only so much that we can do. I do not carry a weapon and neither does my SO, but it has become apparent that we need some sort of personal protection. She has no experience whatsoever with firearms, and carrying one is not an option. Edged weapons and blunt weapons are also out, for various reasons.

I have been doing a lot of reading on Pepper Spray, and I've decided to get some powerful stuff with a practice cartridge or two so she can get some experience firing it. I've been looking at the Fox Labs stuff, and that seems to be a pretty good option. I'd like to get some in a small carry container for her keychain, as well as some for the car.

If anyone has advice or experience I'd love to hear it. I've checked out the couple of past threads about pepper spray, but I'd still like to hear peoples' opinions. I'm also going to enroll both of us in a self-defense class, and I'd appreciate any advice on that as well (I'm thinking Krav Maga or something similar). I appreciate the advice.

 

[TimmyBoston]

Fox Labs Mean Green Pepper Spray

And I would look into moving. Our justice system is pathetic when dealing with stalkers.

I would look into getting firearms training. Very seriously.


You may want to look into a stun gun as well, they can be useful in close situations if the pepper spray wasn't effective.

 

[whitebar]

Most definitely get a gun and some training. Pepper will often just make a crazy person mad. A gun will stop them in their tracks. I know this is not pleasant to think about but you need to protect yourself and those you care about.

 

[Groundhog]

I'd say you're on the right track w/ the Fox Labs spray and Krav Maga. Both are some nasty stuff. And unfortunately, Tim's right about the justice system. Stalkers are usually mentally unbalanced, and by the time they do something serious enough to get charged with a felony, it's too late.

 

[ctr]

Sorry to hear about that. Stalkers are extremely dangerous individuals.

The best defense is outstanding awareness and distance between the threat. Learn to keep that head on a swivel, constantly looking around, watching, checking blind corners. If she sees the threat, don't walk, run screaming, draw attention, but create and keep distance from the stalker.

Learn to vary your routines. The things you do, the places you do them, and the times you do them.

On pepper spray. I recommend buying 4 units total for her. 2 of the key chain type that attach directly to her keys (usually pen shaped), and 2 of the knuckle sized plastic units that fit in the palm of the hand.

Here is why the recommendation for 2 of each. 2 to carry, 2 to practice with. Select a decent sized tree, 5 - 7 inches wide, about the width of the facial eye area. Practice short bursts , 2 - 3 seconds each on the tree at eye level. Learn to do it with either hand, and with both types. With the pen unit, also practice gouging at eye level. Best to use an old box for this, not the tree.

TX is a concealed weapons permit friendly state. I also believe TX allows open carry in vehicles. This is a good choice while waiting for the permit. Take a class and apply for the permit, if and only if she believes she can pull the trigger to save her life.

Best of luck.

 

[bamafan64]

Good advice from all. Teach her to constantly be aware of her surroundings.
It's sexist, I know, but women tend not to be defensive minded while walking to their car, home, etc. I'd also look into firearms training like the others said. A handgun that she could carry with her would be good, plus a shotgun for the home as well. A big, mean dog probably wouldn't be a bad idea for the home, either.

 

[nikkuchan]

Hello there. I got me a stalker here in Japan. Though I can't go into detail, I used to go out with her, but things ended fast after she threatened to kill me. She stole my passport and is trying to use it extort money from me as well. However, the police won't do anything because I don't have sufficient proof that she has no intention of returning it.

What I can tell you is that it's a good idea to inform your neighbors about this person and ask them to call the police if they ever see this stalker. Pepper spray is always a good idea. I have no experience with fire arms, but I hear from a lot of people that a gun in inexperienced hands is not a good idea. I don't know what the possibility of a break-in is, but I would consider strategically placing items throughout the house that could be used as weapons. Do you have chains on your doors?

 

[soapbuddy]

What about a Taser?

 

[TimmyBoston]

One more thing: Get a damn loud whistle. My girlfriend carries one of these:

 

[MrGuy]

I think the number one priority is to get in that self defense class ASAP. They should teach not only how to use the spray, but when to know to keep it close, and what to do in the event she can't reach it in time. The biggest can of spray will never work if it's still in her purse. Another tip I read from a member in another thread is to make sure she, well both of you I guess, have the chance to see what it's like to be sprayed. It doesn't sound like fun, but chances are good that in the heat of the moment when that spray comes out she will get at least some of it back on herself. The time she needs to use it shouldn't be the first time she feels what it's like.
Hope you both remain safe!

 

[rdeakle]

I just glanced at what most other people said, so forgive me if I repeat anything.

Can't help you much with pepper spray etc.

BUT!

As far as 'self-defense' goes, if you stick with anything long enough, and are serious about it, you would have a better chance than not knowing anything at all (does that make sense? I don't know). For example, if you take karate, which I would rate at the lowest of 'martial arts' levels, for 6 months, it's probably not going to do you much good, as size and strength (in the usual case of a female) will still make a deciding difference. However, if you take karate for 1+ year, you will start to see a vast difference due to technique, knowledge, and practice.

Krav Maga is also a good place to start. I would recommend looking into Brazilian Jui-jistu, Muay Thai, Aikido, or Sambo. The best, IMHO, would be some type of military training (which usually combines several of the forms mentioned). Note, some of these, the sambo and aikido in particular, are pretty serious things. If you get advanced enough you get into truly 'lethal' techniques.

Based on what you have around, you could look into some of the more older and odder types of martial arts. You could attempt to look into some type of special forces hand to hand training which I've heard is a fusion of several different forms (though I personally do not know). Also, there are some unusual types from all over the world, Krav Maga being one, there is also an outrageous one from Greece called Panmachia, which I've seen several times just being in and out of MMA places, which is essentially all lethal tactics.

I have personally have done Muay Thai for 11 years and Gracie Brazilian jj for 6 years. I am 6'5" but only weight 150lbs, and I feel these 2 work great for me.

If you want to know more, about self-defense, shoot me a PM, and I can start asking around the MMA places I visit to get a more experienced answer.

Anyway, I hope that helps you. Good luck and stay safe!

 

[RoyalKooparillo]

Thanks for all of the advice, Gentlemen. I think I'll definitely be purchasing some Mean Green for her, as well as some spray that's safe to keep in her car (can get EXTREMELY hot here during the summer). A whistle is a great idea, too. And I'm definitely going to look for a good local Krav Maga establishment.

I agree that awareness is our best defense...that's something I've been trying to emphasize lately. We've put up the mugshot of this guy at her workplace, but letting the neighbors know is a great idea as well. The problem is that many people just don't seem to understand how serious the situation is...soon after she put up the picture at work, someone punched a couple of holes in the guy's face and then another person put a sticker over it. The immaturity and stupidity of some adults really confounds me sometimes.

Guns, while certainly effective, are out of the question for private reasons. I've thought about getting her a Taser, but I'm not sure she would carry it around. I really wish I could get a permit to carry a collapsible baton, but I'm not sure I can as a civilian in Texas. Seems odd that one can get a CCW for a handgun but not for a blunt weapon. Perhaps I am mistaken about that.

One of the hardest things about this situation is the lifestyle adjustment...trying to minimize disorder while maximizing safety is the difficult road we're currently traveling down. Established habits can be hard to break, and constantly being on the lookout for threats can be mentally exhausting. Because of this, I think there is a temptation for her not to think about how scary things are. I keep trying to remind her how dangerous that is.

Thanks again, fellas.

 

[MrGuy]

Thanks for all of the advice, Gentlemen. I think I'll definitely be purchasing some Mean Green for her, as well as some spray that's safe to keep in her car (can get EXTREMELY hot here during the summer). A whistle is a great idea, too. And I'm definitely going to look for a good local Krav Maga establishment.

I agree that awareness is our best defense...that's something I've been trying to emphasize lately. We've put up the mugshot of this guy at her workplace, but letting the neighbors know is a great idea as well. The problem is that many people just don't seem to understand how serious the situation is...soon after she put up the picture at work, someone punched a couple of holes in the guy's face and then another person put a sticker over it. The immaturity and stupidity of some adults really confounds me sometimes.

Guns, while certainly effective, are out of the question for private reasons. I've thought about getting her a Taser, but I'm not sure she would carry it around. I really wish I could get a permit to carry a collapsible baton, but I'm not sure I can as a civilian in Texas. Seems odd that one can get a CCW for a handgun but not for a blunt weapon. Perhaps I am mistaken about that.

One of the hardest things about this situation is the lifestyle adjustment...trying to minimize disorder while maximizing safety is the difficult road we're currently traveling down. Established habits can be hard to break, and constantly being on the lookout for threats can be mentally exhausting. Because of this, I think there is a temptation for her not to think about how scary things are. I keep trying to remind her how dangerous that is.

Thanks again, fellas.

Persistence is needed here. No matter how many ignorant people do stupid things to the shot, keep placing new ones. Even the people who deface it have to look at his face for a little while at least. If they put enough stickers on a fresh page, they might recognize the person if the time comes. It's hard to think these people will ever by useful, but maybe they'll change their tune if needed.
With time the constant lookout will become second nature. It'll be tough at first, but when learned it won't be something either if you will have to put any real thought into.

 

[ClubmanRob]

I would look into getting a taser before I would ever consider a pepper spray. It is estimated that 50% of the time in duress, the victims spray themselves in the face in the heat of excitement. It's funny when you're watching a Will Farrel movie, but not so funny in the real world.

 

[The Nid Hog]

Get some training. Instead of Krav Maga, Jiu Jitsu or something like that, you might want to check in with somebody like Tony Blauer. I haven't trained with him personally, but he gets good reviews from people whose opinions I respect. If you can't find a seminar near you, contact him and let him know about your situation. Maybe he can give you some advice:

http://www.tonyblauer.com/

 

[blackfoot]

I am a big fan of guns. But, if you have any reason at all to not get one, don't. It would be more dangerous and you wouldn't use it effectively. Pepper spray is the best option in my opinion. You are SOL if you fire a taser and miss. Sure you can still dry stun, but it is too late if they are in arms reach. Like they said, keep constant attention. It does become natural after a while. And make sure she carries her keys in her hands. Too often the spray is in the purse where you can't get to it fast enough. I am sorry to hear about your situation. It sucks that we have to live in a world like this.

 

[highball]

one more thing: Get a damn loud whistle. My girlfriend carries one of these:

+1

 

[Roman414]

Whatever happened to the old-fashioned concept of just beating the crap out of the guy and telling him to stay away from her? Pepper spray, mace, guns...sounds like way over-reaction to me.

 

[blackfoot]

Whatever happened to the old-fashioned concept of just beating the crap out of the guy and telling him to stay away from her? Pepper spray, mace, guns...sounds like way over-reaction to me.

Like I said, it is a sad, sad world we live in.

 

[TimmyBoston]

Whatever happened to the old-fashioned concept of just beating the crap out of the guy and telling him to stay away from her? .

As much as I disagree with it you go to jail for that.

Pepper spray, mace, guns...sounds like way over-reaction to me.

This has to be one of the most absurd things I've ever read. Are you are at all familiar with how quickly and easily these situations can turn violent and even deadly? Please don't ever deter anyone from taking care of their loved ones.