I use olive oil mixed with a bit of castor oil. I wet my face with hot water pat dry, and apply a very little warmed olive/castor mix. Both these oils are kinda on the thick side, so if your skin has been warmed up with hot water and the oil has been warmed also the oil will spread better.
As mentioned, the oil is not meant to soften the beard but to protect the skin. Therefore you won't want to cut off beard softening preparation steps!