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Officer: "Sir, you were going 120 mph."

Officer: "Sir, you were going 120 mph."
Werner Heisenberg: "Great. Now I don't know where I am."
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"The uncertainty principle also called the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, or Indeterminacy Principle, articulated (1927) by the German physicist Werner Heisenberg, that the position and the velocity of an object cannot both be measured exactly, at the same time, even in theory. The very concepts of exact position and exact velocity together, in fact, have no meaning in nature."
 

ouch

Stjynnkii membörd dummpsjterd
From the Ouch International handbook, How to Tell a Joke.

Werner Heisenberg and Erwin Schrödinger were out for a drive and were pulled over by a police officer.
PO: Do you know how fast you were driving?
WH: No, but I know exactly where I am.
PO: You were doing 90.
WH: Great, now I'm lost.
PO, to ES: Hey you. Is there anything in the trunk?
ES: Yes, my cat.
PO: Open it for me.
ES complies.
PO: Hey, your cat is dead.
ES: Well, he is now!
 
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Albert Einstein is rumored to have around a dozen illegitimate children.
This brings a whole new meaning to The Theory of Relativity.
 
From the Ouch International handbook, How to Tell a Joke.

Werner Heisenberg and Erwin Schrödinger were out for a drive and were pulled over by a police officer.
PO: Do you know how fast you were driving?
WH: No, but I know exactly where I am.
PO: You were doing 90.
WH: Great, now I'm lost.
PO, to ES: Hey you. Is there anything in the trunk?
ES: Yes, my cat.
PO: Open it for me.
ES complies.
PO: Hey, your cat is dead.
ES: Well, he is now!
Ohm was in the back seat. The office tried to arrest him, but Ohm resisted.
 
Riding in the back seat was the Scottish inventor of the modern steam engine. But he couldn't produce his ID card.

When the officer asked him "What's your name?" he replied "Yes."
 
this stuff is awesome. A&C really milked their routine for every ounce of laughter they could. I remember hearing a gold mine routine all hinging around "ore."
 
A student riding in a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited he asks, "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"
 
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