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My left hand is a spaz

You have a lot of brain space allocated to the use of your hands, feet, mouth and tongue (comparatively).

Practice using the off-hand more, with all other ordinary tasks. Proprioception takes over and muscle memory builds. Shaving with it will then come easier.
Funny story, if you go to USMC recruit training, you can only eat with your left hand. My drill instructors enforced shaving and brushing your teeth left handed as well, but I assume this was a platoon level thing as other friends in the Corps didn't report that they were forced to shave left handed. These actions did help build ambidexerity. We also were not allowed to use mops or brooms, but had to sweep with boot brushes while duck walking and mop with towels. Your knees or hands can't touch the floor. Honestly it was good training as I found that I could write fairly legibly left handed when I left Paris Island.

And then hundreds of rockets fired, being in firefights in Iraq, and being muzzle blasted by a M2 a few times later... my ears ring constantly and I get vertigo so bad I couldn't duck walk now if my life depended on it lol.

OP I shave with my right (dominant) hand exclusively, other than a few spots I have to use my left hand with to get to.
I use both hands equally when SR shaving. Left hand does the left side and so on. I golf left, play hockey left, bat left, shoot pool left and toss sauté pans left exclusively, although I’m right hand dominant. Weird. I wouldn’t strop left, wonder if anyone does that interchangeably?
I'm right dominant. But swing an ax left. I know why too. When I was a young boy, my Dad demonstrated how. He stood facing me. I copied him. Now that paints a picture. Thinking back, I'm sure glad his ax head didn't fly off the handle. I also remember when I first learned to row a boat. Yep, you guessed it. There were a lot of circles on that first voyage. A lot of splashing too.

The mirrored image thing was the biggest challenge for me. I don’t remember what it was like with my first cartridge razor. That was a very long time ago. But I do remember what it was like to shave with a SR for the first time. Looking in the mirror and trying to position the razor was a big challenge. I’m not talking about the blade angle. Positioning the razor in general was the first problem. I remember that it made me so concerned that I gave up the first time without shaving one whisker. Then I went and got a pencil and acted like it was the straight razor. After that, I went back to the SR. I flipped the razor over so the spine touched my skin. Not the blade. That helped me get more confidence in my motor skills.
My left hand is a spaz. I started to straight razor shave in March. I shave every other day. I try to shave with the traditional approach. The right side of my face I use my right hand and the left side I use my left hand. There is a noticeable quality difference in the right-side and left side. My right hand is superior at straight razor shaving. Also every nick, slice, and cut has been attained by the left hand. Not once has my right let any blood out. I think I am going to try to shave my whole face with my right hand. Use my left for the areas my right cannot shave well. Like the best electric guitarist in the world (Jimi Hendrix) he played his guitar upside down.
Being very strongly left-handed, I have ignored ‘tradition’ and SR shave with my dominant hand only, using a variety of holds, including having the scales and blade in a straight line (like a pen) when shaving the extreme left side of my face. With asymmetric kamisori I shave left-handed with both the Ura and Omote sides, rather than (tradition) just the Omote side. Do whatever feels right for you.
I can shave with both hands. The important thing is to relax and make DELIBERATE movements. And only try and do one movement at a time. Eventually you'll get the hang of it. I'm right-dominant, but I shave left sometimes, just to get at the little niggley areas that my right hand just can't reach properly.
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