Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

[DE Shaver]

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  
• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  
• The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
  
• If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog
  
• The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
  
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
  
• Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
  
• The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  
• A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

So, anyone else know some of Murphy's lesser known laws?

 

[BladeRunner001]

That's too funny

 

[ouch]

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

So, anyone else know some of Murphy's lesser known laws?

Build a man a fire, and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

 

[Tolduonce]

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  
• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  
• The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
  
• If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog
  
• The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
  
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
  
• Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
  
• The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  
• A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

So, anyone else know some of Murphy's lesser known laws?

All things being equal, fat people will spend more money on soap than skinny people.

 

[knlgskr]

Leakproof seals aren't.

Friendly fire isn't.

Ignorance is curable, stupidity is terminal.

Those who think they know everything, hinder those of us who do.

Be good to your inferiors if you should find some.

 

[instpasr]

You can't fix stupid

 

[RichGem]

You can't legislate common sense.

 

[instpasr]

The elected official can say two completely different things at the same time.

 

[Telecaster52]

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces

 

[DE Shaver]

He's a personal farvourite only because it's so true.

"Your boss will always call you, when you aren't at your desk."

 

[Crixus]

No matter what you're looking for, if you find it it'll be in the very last place you look.

 

[taprater]

No matter what you're looking for, if you find it it'll be in the very last place you look.

Well one would hope you don't keep looking after you find something...

 

[Alacrity59]

Keep in mind . . . Murphy was an Optimist.

 

[Crixus]

Well one would hope you don't keep looking after you find something...

So that's why it always seems to work out that way.

 

[luvmysuper]

I heard it was;

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will be back the next day asking for more free fish."

 

[instpasr]

Give Murphy a pint and he will be happy give him two and he will start making ridiculous laws.

 

[Arrow]

When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty

 

[Arrow]

Atheism is a 'non-prophet' organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes....why do we still have monkeys and apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman...."Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me...it would defeat the purpose.

If a deaf person swears...does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself...is it considered a hostage situation?

Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued......can they 'garnish' his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a 'walk'?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell......is he homeless or naked?

If the police arrest a mime...do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns....do the rest drown, too?

If you ate both pasta and antipasto....would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail...and succeed....which have you done?

Why is it called 'tourist season' if we can't shoot at them?

Why is there an expiration date on 'sour cream'?

 

[RichGem]

The box will always be more attractive to a toddler than then the expensive toy that came in it.

 

[DE Shaver]

Just a refresher for those who don't recall the original Murhpy's Laws.

Murphy's Law
If anything can go wrong -- it will.

Murphy's First Corollary
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Second Corollary
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law
Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile... tomorrow will be worse.