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Loss at Christmas

I wanted to wait a few days before I posted this. On Christmas day at 4 am my sister passed. Last year at Thanksgiving she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She fought and endured numerous rounds of chemo and radiation, finally she went into a clinical trial that just did not work. The cancer had spread and there was nothing they could do. She grew tired and went into Hospice care 3 weeks ago.

As kids we grew up in a difficult family situation and because of that we leaned on each other for support and as time went along that bond became stronger. We seldom had disagreements and we knew no matter what, it was us together. Aside from our spouses we were each others biggest supporters and when things were difficult we were there for each other. Four years ago her husband became ill and during that time we began a habit of calling each other on our commutes to work. That never stopped and until she was not able to talk we would touch base. It wasn't anything big, it was about our families and things that were going on in the world.

Now the reason for this, its not about sympathy, its about what is important. As I get older I see my friends distance themselves from family over petty arguments. Don't get me wrong family dynamics are difficult and sometimes it is necessary for the well being of all to disconnect. However, misunderstandings happen and most of the time differences can be worked through.

We said our goodbyes and I know I will see her again. I just will miss that morning conversation.
 
Hey Matt
Sympathies are an expression of understanding. Next month it will be 9yrs since I lost my Sister to lung cancer and I didn't realize just how close we were until she was diagnosed and gone in 4 months. Had the worst 3yrs afterward, am still able to catch some of her spirit when I miss her the most. Like at Christmas.
Wishing you peace, Tom
 
I am so sorry for your loss! I couldn’t agree more with what you said about not letting petty arguments ruin family relationships. You have my sympathies.


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Sympathies to you and your family. The tribute posted about the bond between you and your sister is a powerful reminder that in the end it’s family that matters the most.
 
Now the reason for this, its not about sympathy, its about what is important. As I get older I see my friends distance themselves from family over petty arguments. Don't get me wrong family dynamics are difficult and sometimes it is necessary for the well being of all to disconnect. However, misunderstandings happen and most of the time differences can be worked through.
Thank you for saying such importing things at a time of sorrow.

you are a good manh to be able to do this.
 
You are so right. I have three sisters, two of which got into a disagreement several years ago. They still will not let this go and reconcile. My father passed away on December 15, leaving my mother alone, and all the way up to then and still now those two sisters will not visit when one of the other two is present. I and my other sister periodically try to talk to them, but it doesn't seem to work. I'm sure this is very hard on my mother.

Thank you for putting the message out there. Probably not my sisters, but maybe someone else will read this and get the message.
 

dangerousdon

Moderator Emeritus
Thank you for sharing this very personal situation with us. I couldn't agree with you more. We need to embrace our family, no matter our differences.

I am very sorry for your loss. My wife and I will say a prayer for you and your family.
 

emwolf

Contributor
Very true, and my sincere condolences for your loss. My wife's family got factured after my mother-in-law developed Alzheimer's disease. They haven't recovered and I don't see that happening anytime soon. It hurts my wife deeply, and naturally it hurts me too.
 
So sorry about your loss. Sounds like you and your sister had a special bond. Saying a prayer for comfort at this time.
I agree life is too short to harden our hearts against those around us.
 
My condolences to you and your family, prayers are being offered on your behalf. Your thoughts regarding reconciliation are true; seldom are our disagreements significant enough to warrant long term divisions/separations.

Thank you for the much needed reminder.
 

ackvil

Moderator
My condolences.

An excellent reminder of family importance. My mother-in-law passed away on 12/30 last year. She had three sons and one daughter. One son had no contact with her for ten years. Nobody knows why he never called her or visited her. Before she passed, my wife made one attempt to contact him and let him know that his mother had only a few days to live. He never responded.
 
Condolences. In my business I see this far too often when family and friends estrange themselves only be come back together in regret later. Prayers to you and yours during this difficult time
 
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