What did the same pirate say when he became an octogenarian?
Aye Matey
Aye Matey
Jokes that make you groan
- Thread starter Captain Pre-Capsize
- Start date
What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park the car, man.
Park the car, man.
My wife got mad at me for being lazy.
It's not like I did anything.
It's not like I did anything.
My daughter had a hamster that escaped on last Tuesday. Poor thing got run over, flat, squished. So we buried it at the top of the garden where there's some flowers sprouting. Well yesterday morning she comes into my bedroom telling me that a flower has grown on the grave of said now ! long dead hamster. So as a good dad we both went to have a look, sure enough a gorgeous red tulip, strong colour and stem.
My daughter and I both agreed, the the best red tulips come from HAMSTER JAM!!! (Amsterdam)
My daughter and I both agreed, the the best red tulips come from HAMSTER JAM!!! (Amsterdam)
A man injured his left knee and got gangrene. The hospital prepped him for surgery, but in error, they removed the right leg.
Of course, he still had the issue with gangrene in the left one so they had to take that one off too.
He sued the hospital, but the judge threw the case out.
He said the guy didn't have a leg to stand on.
Of course, he still had the issue with gangrene in the left one so they had to take that one off too.
He sued the hospital, but the judge threw the case out.
He said the guy didn't have a leg to stand on.
My wife and I decided not to have kids.
The kids are not taking it well.
The kids are not taking it well.
What’s a Pirate‘s favorite letter?
you think its’ the Rrrrrr but it’s the Seeeeaaaa (sea . C) works better told in person.
I fell for it!
First time i heard it in person I died.
We can never meet, tho I am headed down your way this winter.
I'm afraid I'd be giggling like a girl all the time.
The nurse becomes the patient
I will say that fire pit of yours looks inviting my friend. If the rain ever stops I plan on sitting out by mine soon.
The garden may end up drowning, good thing we canned so much last year. My bride said all canning season long last year that God gave us a bountiful harvest because He was getting us prepared for a rough 2021.
Sad to see.
I use that pit about once a week. Mostly burning all the cardboard and paper products we accumulate weekly.
The rain here has been hell on the garden. Which is a really odd thing to say. Tomatoes have tons of bugs and worms over them. Cucumbers are dying already. Peppers are taking a long time to produce. Corn and cabbage is doing great though. Leafy greens tend to love moist soil and high humidity. So they are doing fantastic. I just planted spinach and lettuce from seeds today.
I saw a pirate care the other day. A Toyota YARis...
Many years ago the Germans sought to make another car line. To save on labor costs, they contracted with a Japanese company to make the car. After all the negotiations were done they discovered they hadn't come up with a brand name for the car.
The Germans figured they had some time for their their advertising department to come up with a name. They asked the Japanese how long would it be for the first cars to arrive. The Japanese said, "About two weeks".
To which the German executives replied, "Dat Soon?"
The Germans figured they had some time for their their advertising department to come up with a name. They asked the Japanese how long would it be for the first cars to arrive. The Japanese said, "About two weeks".
To which the German executives replied, "Dat Soon?"
A buddy of mine went to this new Chinese-German restaurant in his 'hood. Had the schnitzel lo-mein. Everything was great, except an hour later he was hungry for power.
Those are fantastic! I can’t wait for my daughter to get home from science camp so I can tell her those jokes.
A snail bought a Nissan S30, and went racing around the neighborhood.
Everyone who saw it said "Wow, look at that S car go".
Everyone who saw it said "Wow, look at that S car go".
Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither does milk.
