Man, I check here for a new joke every time there's an update, you guys keep giving me the "fake ball throw with the dog" 
Jokes that make you groan
- Thread starter Captain Pre-Capsize
- Start date
And why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
I always assumed that was intentional so we could abbrev it. My favorite word is awkward. It's perfectly spelled for it's meaning.
Given my already-known enjoyment of Spider R’s work, it is not surprising that Heinlein was my “gateway drug” into science fiction (“Star Troopers”, of course).
So as not to be too far off-topic, “Why was the graveyard so crowded? People were dying to get in.”
Amen. I have always said if I'd have been born with just 1% less morals I'd have been president.
Serious question: did you spell awkward right? Nevermind. Otto Korreck fixed it for me. As a MILDLY dyslexic person I've had trouble with that werd my whole life. Among many others.
"If voting changed anything they'd make it illegal."
One of the funniest things ever. Robert Mitchum has that great monologue in Night of the Hunter about the eternal struggle, but this is the real one.
Caribou
The only reason I can recall how to spell it is the...awkwardness of it. Every time I see it, I think "there's no way that's right...". Also, I have that same thought with a LOT of stuff these days...
My son is and has been an incredibly gifted speller, and my wife as well. I'm glad he got that from her.
A toothless termite walks into a bar...
and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Why the long face?"
The bartender says "Why the long face?"
I almost feel sorry for laughing at that... She's a very attractive long faced woman.
What about people with a lisp?
@FarmerTan In high school I had a brilliant chemistry teacher who claimed that Kudzu was proof that God has a sense of humor.
The farmer counted all the cows in his pasture and found he had exactly 198.
But then, he had 200 once he rounded them up.
But then, he had 200 once he rounded them up.
Reminds me of the one that only works verbally
A herder had 26 sheep (twenty sick sheep) and one died. How many were left?
19
What differentiates a good metalworker from a bad one?
Thick paint.
Thick paint.
