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Jokes that make you groan

The Knize

Moderator Emeritus
< This conversation haunts me from time to time, especially now that I'm real close to 65. >

65 does not seem nearly so dramatic in the rear view mirror!
 

emwolf

Contributor
Years ago I ran into a Lodge brother at the store. He looked so depressed. He mentioned that it was his 65th birthday. I was all of a about 30.

He said when he was a kid (he was probably born around 1930 to 35) a man was REALLY old at 65.

He died I know before he hit 70.

This conversation haunts me from time to time, especially now that I'm real close to 65.

Remember to number your days my friends!
one of my favorites: Every day is a gift, that's why the call it the present.
 
I got it.. 😛

AA
You should be proud.
I just showed it to a friend and he said " Baby Yoda? "

Which is *not* an example of,
but nonetheless reminds me of an entire class of jokes:
When a person *not* getting the joke, is funnier than the joke.

In 12th grade, my advanced placement biology teacher liked to tell jokes.
So one day he says " Does anybody know how mosquitos breed ? "

Nobody says anything.

"Day breed true dare noses!"

Then the girl who would later become the class salutatorian says
"Ew Gross!"
 
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?

I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.

Oh yeah? Let’s see you do it.

He gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.

A couple driving by slows down to watch - Wow, I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now.
 

emwolf

Contributor
I might have read this here, so forgive me.
What's a chocolate bar's preferred gender pronouns?

Her, she.
 
A little, silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a very difficult jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The little lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her neighbor decides to go over and help her with the puzzle. When he arrives, the old lady shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says:

“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.” Then he takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then...” and he says this with a deep sigh...

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
 

The Knize

Moderator Emeritus
Police are investigating a crime in which the victim was shot with a starter's pistol.


They believe the incident may have been race related.
Everyone remembers Karl Marx, the founder of communism. But we all seem to have forgotten his sister Onya, inventor of the starter pistol.
 
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