What's new

Issue with the direction of growth of my hair.

Status
Not open for further replies.
Hello, everyone. Just signed in to try my luck, since I’m rather desperate. I’d like to congratulate you for this forum, its community and all those things, but I’ll be selfish and I’ll get to the point. I’m sorry if this is not the suitable place to seek help for my issue. Bear with me and my rudeness, please.

So, I’ve got a problem with regards to my hair, the way it grows, specifically. I’ll start by what I consider the cause of it. When I was younger, when you don’t care about your looks and you barely have any sense of aesthetic, I would let my hair grow a bit, and whenever I did exercise, I would sweep (not entirely sure this is the correct verb) all of my hair (fringe, sides, crown, nape) with my hands backwards, towards the centre point of the back of the skull, approximately. And it was easy to do and long-lasting since it was wet after having sweated.

The following years, having reached puberty, I started to care more about how I looked, but my hair was already messed up, and I ended up worsening it even more due to my non-existent knowledge about styling your hair, by brushing my hair in an unnatural way. Years later, I decided to “restart” my hair, so I shaved with an electric trimmer. After letting it grow, I could clearly see that my hair was growing the way I had accustomed it to, just slightly less than before. I thought this was nonsense, since the pattern your hair follows is biological, I came to the conclusion that cutting it from the root (or at least the closest you can) would be the solution. After some time, I shaved it again, this time with a razor, manually, so I could go deeper. In fact, I’ve done this a couple of times more, and my hair has certainly got a bit better, although It’s far from decent.

So, the current situation is that, for example, the hairs of my neck, instead of growing like in the attached photo, that is, outwards, grow towards the opposite direction, backwards and upwards, towards the back of the head. And to the same direction grows every hair. I suspect (as I can’t come up with any other cause) that the hair, from its very beginning (the movable part, so to speak), it’s accustomed to grow in a different direction, rotated on its own axis (kind of freak to think like this, I know, but it’s not that I had other choice).

The only solution that I can think of it’s getting an even closest shave, but I doubt it’s possible, and if it were, sounds dangerous. Or maybe repeatedly shave it, but that would not get back my hair to its natural pattern. This may sound like it’s just me being stubborn or even paranoid, but I refuse to accept that my hair naturally grows like that, it makes no sense and it’s awful, and if I see photos of me when I was a kid, my hair does not nearly behave like that.

Any help would be much appreciated, although I’m not very optimistic and it’s mentally killing me, as it’s my own fault. I hope I’ve explained myself clearly, English is not my mother tongue, so don’t pay much attention to any mistakes or muttering, please (not implying my English is horrible, don’t take this as false modesty). Lastly, at least I’ll make good use of this post to wish you Merry Christmas.
 

Attachments

  • Neck-Hair.jpg
    Neck-Hair.jpg
    478.9 KB · Views: 36
I am not sure I understand the question, but this sounds familiar. I cut my father's hair and the whole area ear to ear below the occipital grows in multiple different directions. Luckily, I don't have this problem as it would be very difficult to self cut. I have to pull the hair up from several directions and cut while trying to layer the hair properly. If it was my hair, I would have to have a medium taper. Long enough to cover things up a bit and short enough that the weird hairs don't grow out past the others. Merry Christmas all the same.
 

rbscebu

Girls call me Makaluod
@BlokeWithAHairdle I understand your problem, although I do not have it. It appears that your problem is affecting your mental wellbeing. As such, I would recommend that you obtain professional advice on the matter. You need to consult with a dermatologist experienced in hair growth. Dermatologists specialise in skin and all associated with it, including hair growth.
 
I suggest nothing you did in the past caused the hair behavior you describe. I also suggest nothing you can do in the present or in the future can permanently correct the hair behavior you describe.

Your hair roots below the scalp are not aware, and they don't care, about the past, present, or future treatment of the hair above the scalp. Otherwise, we might be able to prevent or control baldness, chronic dandruff, or whatever.

The causes of hair growth, hair behavior, and hair color reside in one's heredity. Period.

The growth pattern of the inside end of my left eyebrow is slightly asymmetrical. I was looking at a photograph of my paternal grandfather the other day. He died before I was born. Guess what? My paternal grandfather had the same asymmetrical left eyebrow as I.

Our heredity is the permanent home of such mysteries. Heredity is irreversible.
 
Just comb it the way you want it, over time it will start to agree with you. After a few weeks, if it is still not what you want, go see a barber or stylist you trust and see if they have any recommendations as per style adjustments.

Best, JM
 
@BlokeWithAHairdle I understand your problem, although I do not have it. It appears that your problem is affecting your mental wellbeing. As such, I would recommend that you obtain professional advice on the matter. You need to consult with a dermatologist experienced in hair growth. Dermatologists specialise in skin and all associated with it, including hair growth.
Unfortunately, my mental wellbeing has been affected for a long time, since I suffer from social anxiety, that's why stupid things like asking a professional seem almost impossible for me, and that's why I try to seek answers in these kind of sites, with no need of showing my face. Regardless, is not your problem and your answer is practically correct. At least you seem to understand my problem, thanks.
 
I suggest nothing you did in the past caused the hair behavior you describe. I also suggest nothing you can do in the present or in the future can permanently correct the hair behavior you describe.

Your hair roots below the scalp are not aware, and they don't care, about the past, present, or future treatment of the hair above the scalp. Otherwise, we might be able to prevent or control baldness, chronic dandruff, or whatever.

The causes of hair growth, hair behavior, and hair color reside in one's heredity. Period.

The growth pattern of the inside end of my left eyebrow is slightly asymmetrical. I was looking at a photograph of my paternal grandfather the other day. He died before I was born. Guess what? My paternal grandfather had the same asymmetrical left eyebrow as I.

Our heredity is the permanent home of such mysteries. Heredity is irreversible.
All those things I know, that's why I mention that my hair pattern is visibly different to when I was a little child, and that currently my hair coincidentally follows the same pattern that I forced it to for many years. In fact, what I would like is to "recover" that natural, biological growth of the hair, as if I had been born again. But it seems rather impossible, or at least with just a razor and my hands.
 
Just comb it the way you want it, over time it will start to agree with you. After a few weeks, if it is still not what you want, go see a barber or stylist you trust and see if they have any recommendations as per style adjustments.

Best, JM
I'll try, but I'm not confident of my ability to repair this mess, I would probably just end up overlaping the patterns, resulting in a awful mix and not being able to solve the real problem.
 
I am not sure I understand the question, but this sounds familiar. I cut my father's hair and the whole area ear to ear below the occipital grows in multiple different directions. Luckily, I don't have this problem as it would be very difficult to self cut. I have to pull the hair up from several directions and cut while trying to layer the hair properly. If it was my hair, I would have to have a medium taper. Long enough to cover things up a bit and short enough that the weird hairs don't grow out past the others. Merry Christmas all the same.
I doubt it's the same, but who knows. My hair is a mess and I have to spend some time daily so as to make it look decentish, after shower, after waking up. And it's not only the hair below the ears, it's each and every hair of my head.
 
Unfortunately, my mental wellbeing has been affected for a long time, since I suffer from social anxiety, that's why stupid things like asking a professional seem almost impossible for me, and that's why I try to seek answers in these kind of sites, with no need of showing my face. Regardless, is not your problem and your answer is practically correct. At least you seem to understand my problem, thanks.
Hey. I am proud of you for your bravery in speaking about your anxiety and naming it. It now has slightly less power over you, and you have slightly more power over it.

Also, you are smart to start to solve this virtually, as there are less barriers for you. You can learn a tonne of skills that help manage anxiety online. Have you found any good websites yet?
 
Hey. I am proud of you for your bravery in speaking about your anxiety and naming it. It now has slightly less power over you, and you have slightly more power over it.

Also, you are smart to start to solve this virtually, as there are less barriers for you. You can learn a tonne of skills that help manage anxiety online. Have you found any good websites yet?
I don't really think it has got better, I took my time just to read the answers due to the anxiety. Thank you, anyway. And I went to a psychologist, but it was useless, so I'm not very sure there are many useful websites out there. Besides, it's not only that my mental health does not allow me to socialise, but I'm by nature a person who does not fit nor does feel comfortable with the majority of people. But well, should anyone know some page, it would be great to mention it, not only for me but for everyone. Wish you the best.
 
Hi, looking at the photo, I don't see any significant problems. In fact, you have a nice full head of hair.

Only tip is you should be cutting it more often.

If you don't like hairdressers/barbers, consider shaving your entire head. Feeds the hobby while you are at it.

I'm not quite brave enough to go full-on bald yet, but I occassionally shave my thighs and belly for some hair-cutting action. :c1:
 
Hey Bloke, I will have to wait until I can invest the proper time and energy into reviewing sites, but I wanted to let you know I'll post again soon. Best. JM
 
OK, some resources for anxiety

Oh Youtube I love you. This woman has a Master's Degree in Therapy and a huge resume of relevant experience. She has created a series of 58 videos that teach you everything you need to know. You can click on her Channel (Therapy in a nutshell) for even more great videos. If I was to do ONE thing only one thing on this list it would be to watch every anxiety video on her channel multiple times. Phenomenal. This woman REALLY knows what she is talking about.

Anxiety Canada has a GREAT website. They have done well. I hope the links below are available outside of Canada! LMK if they are not.

Decent overview for readers
Anxiety in Adults - Anxiety Canada - https://www.anxietycanada.com/learn-about-anxiety/anxiety-in-adults/

Mindshift app
Free, focuses on anxiety specifically - open this link on your phone
MindShift® CBT - Anxiety Canada - https://www.anxietycanada.com/resources/mindshift-cbt/

Now for the motherload - My Anxiety Plan. Boring name but this is 45 lessons spanning 10 hours that you customize to your exact situation. There is a lot here.
My Anxiety Plan (MAP) for Adults - Anxiety Canada - MAPS - https://maps.anxietycanada.com/en/courses/my-anxiety-plan-map-for-adults/

Woebot app for phones and tablets - This one is a bit different.. it teachers an approach called CBT.. it is dry but clinically proven to be one of the more effective approaches to anxiety. It can teach a lot of important basics in an AI text chat type interface. Neat idea.

Woebot Android Link
Woebot: your self-care expert in CBT & mindfulness – Apps on Google Play - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.woebot&hl=en_CA&gl=US
Woebot IOS Link
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/woebot-your-self-care-expert/id1305375832

Anxiety has been around for longer than most other mental health issues. This means it has been studied extensively and people know what works. Out of all mental health challenges, it is the one that responds the most to intervention, so give it a try!

Also, if you feel this is not working for you, and none of the web-based stuff is helping, find help in person. There will be something available in your area (or through Videoconferencing) so reach out if you feel this isn't making the cut.

Best, JM
 
Last edited:
I don't really think it has got better, I took my time just to read the answers due to the anxiety. Thank you, anyway. And I went to a psychologist, but it was useless, so I'm not very sure there are many useful websites out there. Besides, it's not only that my mental health does not allow me to socialise, but I'm by nature a person who does not fit nor does feel comfortable with the majority of people. But well, should anyone know some page, it would be great to mention it, not only for me but for everyone. Wish you the best.
Your comments bring up an interesting question.. how much is social anxiety and how much is someone who prefers to be alone, or finds many people abrasive. Some people call that a good judge of character. I guess part of the answer is if you want to or wish to be able to interact more but can't, or if you would just rather be on your own as much as possible. One has anxiety and one just prefers their own/limited company.
 
Hi, looking at the photo, I don't see any significant problems. In fact, you have a nice full head of hair.

Only tip is you should be cutting it more often.

If you don't like hairdressers/barbers, consider shaving your entire head. Feeds the hobby while you are at it.

I'm not quite brave enough to go full-on bald yet, but I occassionally shave my thighs and belly for some hair-cutting action. :c1:
It's not my hair, it's a photo that I found to illustrate how the hair of that part of the head should grow, how I would like it to. I wish I were the man in the photo, then I wouldn't be asking.
 
Your comments bring up an interesting question.. how much is social anxiety and how much is someone who prefers to be alone, or finds many people abrasive. Some people call that a good judge of character. I guess part of the answer is if you want to or wish to be able to interact more but can't, or if you would just rather be on your own as much as possible. One has anxiety and one just prefers their own/limited company.
It's actually pretty easy to distinguish them. Social anxiety is about sweating, trembling, feeling constipated, heavy breathing, the continuous sensation of humiliation, people looking at you and looking down on you, the fear of making a mistake, feeling that you're the only one that makes stupid things or doesn't know supposedly common knowledge. The other is just a feeling of boredom, awkwardness or disgust when talking to certain people.
In my case it's both. Don't want to sound edgy or anything, I really don't, but it is true that I dislike most of the people, yet when I find someone that could potentially make me feel comfortable, I'm unable to establish a relationship, that's when the low self-esteem, social anxiety and all other forms of mental illness come into play. Ironic that those people who I dislike at least are able to have normal relationships unlike me. Although theirs tend to be rather shallow, and I'm not feeling up for that.
And the issue with my hair is actually important to me, as it would make me feel more confident, and currently it's a permanent reminder of my stupidity.
 
Watch those YouTube links and hopefully you will see some value there.

I reread your initial post.. I have a few thoughts. Hair is easier to put where you want when it is wet.

Are you able to style it the way you want when it is wet?

Some hair product (gel or pomade) can help it to stay where you want it. Stick to the "lower hold" gels and pomades, the extreme hold stuff will just get hard and crunchy. That should get you to the point where you can style your hair a certain way and have it stay that way for a few hours..

Best, JM
 
And regarding SAnx you nailed the difference. That is great so now you can know when to push yourself in situations that will help you long term (shopping, socializing perhaps) but also know to drop the people who are just not a fit. That's a great skill to have.
 
Watch those YouTube links and hopefully you will see some value there.

I reread your initial post.. I have a few thoughts. Hair is easier to put where you want when it is wet.

Are you able to style it the way you want when it is wet?

Some hair product (gel or pomade) can help it to stay where you want it. Stick to the "lower hold" gels and pomades, the extreme hold stuff will just get hard and crunchy. That should get you to the point where you can style your hair a certain way and have it stay that way for a few hours..

Best, JM
Well, I'm aware is easier when it's wet, but still. In any case, I'll just try things, not that it can get much worse.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom