I think I need to accept reality.

[FarmerTan]

Embrace it!!
Make the most of it.
It’s a blast!

My father and I were sitting together one day (probably in the deer blind) and I made the comment that getting old sucks.
My father replied, “No son. Getting old was fun. Being old sucks.”

I love you and your Dad! I miss mine everyday. The WISDOM that comes with age is something I am not willing to trade for all the years it took to attain it.

I was about 43 when the wheels fell off. I'm now 47 with complex neurological issues, hobbling around with a walking stick, and bouncing off walls and fences. Wonky vision that specs can't fix, migraines, balance disorder, vertigo, "fight or flight" kicking in unnecessarily, impaired spatial awareness, defunct night vision, intermittent cognitive and communication issues. That's on the days I'm not bed ridden.

Forget looks. If everything works, get out there and use it. One day you might not be able to. Even now, I still try to make the most of what's left. Quit staring into the mirror, and focus on the road ahead.

My neurological issues are what bother me personally the most. Knowing that I am not as sharp as I once was, when I was usually the sharpest knife in the drawer, is hard to accept (and yes, before you ask, I did NOT hang around with a bunch of halfwits…)

This is a good place to be on a Tuesday early AM!

 

[Lefonque]

There is an alternative to accepting the inevitable in the words of the poet Dylan Thomas ”Rage, rage against the dying of the light”.

I did try raging and it didn’t work. I do think to conforming to society’s expectations of us is madness in itself.

 

[Whilliam]

I try to comfort myself with the Bette Davis' words: "Old age is not for sissies."

Cynical realism aside, I must confess to having seen my physical health actually improve with age--largely due to advances in diagnostic technology and medicine. It's healthy to remind myself of this, lest I fall into a depression--a raven perched upon my transom made fathomlessly darker by the lockdown.

At least I love to get up in the morning to greet the dawn . . . and often beat it. Now, for example (it's 1:44 a.m.) I'm heading for my second cup of coffee. I'll read until about four, shower and shave, then go off to breakfast to do the crossword, read some more and catch up on local gossip.

I guess I just don't want to sleep what life I have left away unnecessarily. Sounds a bit grim, I know, but it's what gets me through the night.

 

[AimlessWanderer]

I guess I just don't want to sleep what life I have left away unnecessarily. Sounds a bit grim, I know, but it's what gets me through the night.

I forgot to add free roaming body clock to my list of symptoms. I eat when hungry, sleep when tired, and couldn't give two hoots if I'm in sync with the rest of the country or not.

Some "days" are 16 hours long, some 36 or more. It's currently 7am and I've been awake about 12 hours. Yesterday I woke about 8am, and had a couple of cat naps during the day. I think the next sleep will be a long one, but it could be anywhere between one hour and fourteen.

In some ways, it's actually rather freeing

 

[Whilliam]

I forgot to add free roaming body clock to my list of symptoms. I eat when hungry, sleep when tired, and couldn't give two hoots if I'm in sync with the rest of the country or not.

Some "days" are 16 hours long, some 36 or more. It's currently 7am and I've been awake about 12 hours. Yesterday I woke about 8am, and had a couple of cat naps during the day. I think the next sleep will be a long one, but it could be anywhere between one hour and fourteen.

In some ways, it's actually rather freeing

I need to hew to some circadian rhythm, lest I lose focus when awake. Hence, I do rely on medication to manage my day. Nothing too profound; just enough to keep me on a 24 hour cycle.

 

[AimlessWanderer]

I need to hew to some circadian rhythm, lest I lose focus when awake. Hence, I do rely on medication to manage my day. Nothing too profound; just enough to keep me on a 24 hour cycle.

My natural rhythm had always been slightly longer than a rotation of the rock we sit upon, throughout my working life. For years, my sleep crept half an hour to an hour later everyday, and then I battled to reset it at the weekend.

Since I let it just run amok, it's taken away that weekly battle. I might have to try and reshuffle things a bit if I have a medical appointment or something, but otherwise, i've stopped trying to fight it, and just go with the flow. If I go for a snooze in the afternoon, and don't wake up till 10 hours later, so be it. Likewise, if I turn in for the "night", and ping awake after just two hours. No point in laying there trying to will myself to sleep. If the body wants to be awake, I let it.

 

[jaro 101969]

 

[Marco]

Men can look good at almost any age, we just can't look young forever.

Very well spoken, Sir.

 

[Cesare]

Truth is we never actually know what's going on in other people's lives, especially when we tend to assume - because of all the razors, brushes, soaps - everything else to be perfect. After all, who talks about shaving when problems loom on the horizon, right?

Some of the posts here are truly inspiring. I suspect, at some level, that being here helps each one of us in more ways than would appear. Maybe not the same problem, maybe not the same timing, but I think a lot of us can and do relate.

 

[Shavely Manden]

Unconditional self acceptance. A good starting place.

That kinda reminds me of the skill of radical acceptance in DBT.

 

[Whilliam]

Truth is we never actually know what's going on in other people's lives, especially when we tend to assume - because of all the razors, brushes, soaps - everything else to be perfect. After all, who talks about shaving when problems loom on the horizon, right?

Some of the posts here are truly inspiring. I suspect, at some level, that being here helps each one of us in more ways than would appear. Maybe not the same problem, maybe not the same timing, but I think a lot of us can and do relate.

Very astute. A word here, a comment there, a personal anecdote--one or all may make someone's day in ways we cannot imagine. Moreover, such posts may help illuminate the world of the poster himself.

This is a great thread, meaningful in many ways to each of us who are participating.

 

[Badgerstate36]

You know I've been coming on here looking for recommendations on face care products hair products and even body wash. I don't really know why I've been doing it but I think I have a feeling why. I turn 50 in a couple of months, and for some reason I'm trying to chase something I really can't have and that is youth. I think I'm better off if I just accept that I don't look the same as I used to, and there are no miracle cures in a bottle. I don't know why it dawned on me tonight or why I'm even typing this right now but I feel like I can be honest with you guys. Maybe there's even someone out there who could relate just a little bit.

Maybe you cant get your youth back but theres no reason you cant look your best at any age. Theres nothing wrong with that.

 

[Whilliam]

They say seventy is the new fifty . . . and this time, "they" may be right.

Look, fifty is a rough age to hit. Not that many years ago, it meant your race was run. Hell, there was a time when most men didn't even live that long.

Things really have changed. Check out some movies or TV shows made as recently as the sixties. Men in their fifties looked much older than fifty-year-olds do now. They acted older, too. So did men in their thirties: they looked and acted like men in their fifties today.

Point is, aging is part of living. And we're doing it better than we ever have before. You can, too.

Sure, we all lose the cosmetic attributes of youth, but the attitude of youth is still within our grasp.

I sincerely wish you well, and hope that you resolve a milestone that we've all faced or are all going to face. I do it every day. In two weeks, I'll be seventy-four. Do I miss my youth? Of course. But I'm not about to let that force me into acting like some old geezer in a fifties sitcom.

After all, they say seventy is now the new fifty.

 

[RayClem]

As of 2018, a man born in the USA had a life expectancy of 76.1 years. However, if you manage to make it to age 70 as I have , your life expectancy is another 14.4 years (84.4 years of age). If you manage to make it to age 80, the average expectancy is for a male to live another 8.3 years. If you make it to 90 as some men I know have done, you are expected to live another 4 years. The moral of the story is that we should take advantage of every day we live. Each day we live enhances our chances of living yet another day.

 

[jaro 101969]

I know a lot would consider me young to be talking about age but I get told all the time why dont you act your age you act like someone a lot younger. Well I act that way for multiple reasons. My oldest son is 13 and I have a set of 6 year old twins and I play and cut up with them conatantly and honestly I think they help me staying in a more positive youthful attitude. And 2nd how should someone a year over 50 act ?
Yes sometimes I have a few aches ( a lot of aches to be honest ) but thats also a part of having been in the service doing what I did. It was rough on the body.. I though normally dont feel my age and you can tell it in my attitudes.....
Honestly I would rather get older than the alternative !!

 

[DaveHStone]

You know I've been coming on here looking for recommendations on face care products hair products and even body wash. I don't really know why I've been doing it but I think I have a feeling why. I turn 50 in a couple of months, and for some reason I'm trying to chase something I really can't have and that is youth. I think I'm better off if I just accept that I don't look the same as I used to, and there are no miracle cures in a bottle. I don't know why it dawned on me tonight or why I'm even typing this right now but I feel like I can be honest with you guys. Maybe there's even someone out there who could relate just a little bit.

I hear what you are saying and I can relate to it, as I'll be 48 in a few months.

None of us is ever gonna be getting any younger, but we sure can be fitter and stronger. SIGNIFICANTLY!

This pandemic made me do sit-ups, squats and push-ups and go running in the nearby woods EVERY DAY.

Man, do I feel 10 years younger!

 

[SharpieB]

I am 52 and act 25.

I still play in a rock band that gigs in seedy bars for mainly college kids, I dress like I am in my 20’s, played beer league hockey until COVID, I party with my 23/25 year old kids and many of my friends are in their early/mid 30’s.

Not to sound cliche, but age IS just a number. Sure, it hurts to put on my shoes some days and I pee a lot more often than I did a few year back, but you gotta make the most of it.

My wife and also have an 8 year old daughter (she was definitely not planned!), so I need to be active and at least semi cool for her.

I will never throw in the towel and wear chest high Docker khakis, Velcro runners and Bill Cosby sweaters. I could care less if some kids point at me when I’m 70 and say “look at that stupid old fart wearing skinny jeans, a Cheech & Chong tshirt and Converse shoes”.

 

[BigJ]

For years my goal was to look younger! Then I realized that plastic surgery was the only way to achieve that. I could usually tell who ’had work’ and most of it was not that great!!

Now I just try to enjoy what I have!!

 

[TinyTim]

I've found that lifestyle, genetics and luck are the biggest factors in aging. My last surviving uncle died recently at age 90, my dad died at 92, and another uncle at 92. Two other uncles with the same parents died in their early 70s. Both were heavy smokers and drinkers and didn't take care of their health.

 

[Shattered dreams]

You guys are all very inspiring helpful. I had a feeling there may be another person out there felt the same way as me, but I didn't know there were that many of you. I learned something new along the way. I'm sure as I turn 50 I'll find a way to make peace with it, it just doesn't feel like it today. But you all have so many words of wisdom and inspiration that I truly appreciate everyone taking the time to even read this. If I could just stop wanting younger women to like me lol. Hard on the ego.