I Have Witnessed The Horror...

[Sam Harmon]

The Horror...The Horror.

While walking home from happy hour with friends in River North, I walked past the State Street Marshall Fields (ne Macy's). In one of the famed display windows was an Art of Shaving display--something I had never seen pre-P&G buyout. The centerpiece of this display was an 8' (that's EIGHT FOOT, gentlemen) chrome plated and rubberized Fusion Power with tiny badger brushes and jars of cream surrounding it.

<<rolling into the fetal position, begins to suck thumb>>

I fear what dreams lie ahead.

 

[RILEY]

But I swear I saw one of these in a shot of your shave den a while back if I remember correctly

 

[The Nid Hog]

Just imagine how much the blades for those babies are going to cost! I'm glad I switched to DE.

The fact that Marshall Fields is now Macys is even creepier than the 8-ft Fusion.

 

[ZZTop]

The centerpiece of this display was an 8' (that's EIGHT FOOT, gentlemen) chrome plated and rubberized Fusion Power with tiny badger brushes and jars of cream surrounding it.

Great. You just gave half the people here nightmares for a month.

 

[HoratioCaine]

I seen other things that were eight feet long in videos I shant name on a family friendly forum, and even those weren't as disturbing as the thought of an eight foot Fusion.

 

[Topgumby]

Take it away, Peggy Lee-


The minute you walked past the joint
You could see an object of nightmares
A real big Fusion
Five bladed, so refined
How will you get this out of your mind?

So let me get right to the point
Giant cartridge razors scare the crap out of me
Eight foot Fusion!
No thanks, I'll use a SuperSpeed

 

[kzoo1]

Ugh...

 

[Gruder]

The New FusionMAX! Shave by moving your face, not your razor!

 

[Corey]

Brilliant bit of marketing by them. Sell off some shiny new handle at a jacked up price, market it as an upscale, sophisticated thing to do, convince the buyer that it's a huge difference over the one that they send you free in the mail, and lock those people in to buying Fusion carts because they'll now feel obligated to use the Fusion stuff after paying an obscene amount for the shiny handle. Kudos to them for milking the Fusion even more while they work on the Mach 10, The Hadron Collider, or the Cold Fusion, or whatever nonsense will be out next.

 

[NightLad]

The Horror...The Horror.

While walking home from happy hour with friends in River North, I walked past the State Street Marshall Fields (ne Macy's). In one of the famed display windows was an Art of Shaving display--something I had never seen pre-P&G buyout. The centerpiece of this display was an 8' (that's EIGHT FOOT, gentlemen) chrome plated and rubberized Fusion Power with tiny badger brushes and jars of cream surrounding it.

<<rolling into the fetal position, begins to suck thumb>>

I fear what dreams lie ahead.

It was probably a prototype for the next generation of multi-bade razor. Why just add more and more blades, when you can increase the size of the actual razor too? I can see the commercials now:

"Man used to shave with a tiny blade that had to be manually moved across his face. This took precious minutes out of his life! Now, with the Über Shaver Super Model you just pop in the replicable $259.99 blade, stand in front of the 5' razor, and rub your face against it. More surface area means less exhausting manual labour and no more wasted seconds! Our bed of 56 foot-long blades pratically does all the work for you!

And coming soon, the full-body model: a 4'X6' wall of razor blades designed for the man who desires a smooth and clean body. Just strip down, roll against it, and in no time you will be smoother than you were before you hit puberty!"​

 

[Anton von Tripp]

.......and in breaking news this morning it seems that one of the display windows of a famous Chicago store was broken into last night and the display vandalised.
Police wish to interview what one witness described as a "Gang wearing grey overalls and Badger masks" who were seen in the vicinity.

Cordially, AvT.

 

[lamina]

It wasn't me!!

May he rest in pieces...8' pieces!!!

 

[SRock]

But I swear I saw one of these in a shot of your shave den a while back if I remember correctly

 

[SavantStrike]

.......and in breaking news this morning it seems that one of the display windows of a famous Chicago store was broken into last night and the display vandalised.
Police wish to interview what one witness described as a "Gang wearing grey overalls and Badger masks" who were seen in the vicinity.

Cordially, AvT.

Oh man, I never thought the heat would come down on us so fast. Everybody disperse!!!

 

[gollum83]

The fact that Marshall Fields is now Macys is even creepier than the 8-ft Fusion.

Hey now! I have had to put up with two name changes. I want Hudson's back. Marshall Field's? Macy's?

The New FusionMAX! Shave by removing your face, not your razor!

Fixed that for you...

.......and in breaking news this morning it seems that one of the display windows of a famous Chicago store was broken into last night and the display vandalised.
Police wish to interview what one witness described as a "Gang wearing grey overalls and Badger masks" who were seen in the vicinity.

Cordially, AvT.

The Boston Chicago Tea Shaving Party?

 

[strat1117]

The support group meets right here, every day, all day long.

 

[crocto]

The Horror...The Horror.

While walking home from happy hour with friends in River North, I walked past the State Street Marshall Fields (ne Macy's). In one of the famed display windows was an Art of Shaving display--something I had never seen pre-P&G buyout. The centerpiece of this display was an 8' (that's EIGHT FOOT, gentlemen) chrome plated and rubberized Fusion Power with tiny badger brushes and jars of cream surrounding it.

<<rolling into the fetal position, begins to suck thumb>>

I fear what dreams lie ahead.

wait you LIVE in chicago? try living in dumpy NJ and then you'll have a reason to complain.

 

[ctakim]

To quote a little Conrad: "The horror, the horror..."

 

[ateace]

The centerpiece of this display was an 8' (that's EIGHT FOOT, gentlemen) chrome plated and rubberized Fusion Power

Just think of the size of the ingrowns

 

[HoratioCaine]

Rumor has it, that Fusion is actually a remnant of the Michael Jackson estate. He apparently had it designed so he could do some of his own facial alterations, instead of always having to go to the trouble of seeing a surgeon. I guess it didn't work out so well for him.