Every Who Down in Who-ville
Liked wet shaving a lot...
But the Grinch, Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!
The Grinch hated shaving! The whole wet shaving legions!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his canned goo wouldnt lather quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his splash had no bite.
But I think that the most likely reason of any
May have been that his Fusion had four blades too many.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His goo or his Fusion,
He stood in the snow and reached a nasty conclusion,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm happy shave dens below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Would be baby butt smooth when their shave was complete.
"And they're stropping straight razors!" he snarled with a sneer.
Tonight theyll be shaving! And full of good cheer!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep this smoothness from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the Who kith and kin
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their dens!
Then theyd lather up Trumpers! Theyd break out Old Spice!
Theyd shave for two passes, and sometimes shave thrice!
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
The Grinch made up a costume, all dressed up in brown
And he posed as the UPS man in Who-Town
He went to their dens, in the still of the night
And he took all the gear for shaving just right
He took all their razors, and brushes and creams
The Grinch took them all while the Whos lay a-dream
He took all their Injectors, and their Slims that adjusted
He took all the blades, both the new and the rusted
He took all their scents, and their after shave lotions
He took all the alum, the scents and the potions
He took all their stuff, and that mean Grinchy dope
Left nothing but VDH brushes and cheap drugstore soap
Some generic witch hazel from an old musty store
A few disposable razors, but left nothing more
Then he took all the good stuff to the top of Mount Crumpit
Three thousand feet up, to the tip-top to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming. "
"They're finding out now that no shaving goodness is coming! "
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! "
"They'll stare in their shave mirrors just a minute or two "
"Then all the wet shavers down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!
Thats a noise, grinned the Grinch,
That I simply must hear!
But he then heard a noise come over the snow
It was the sound that whiskers make when wet shavers mow!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without tallow! It came without fancy blades!
It came without gear that you need for great shaves!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe shaving," he thought, You cant buy it complete.
Maybe its not about stuff, its really technique!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch's Fusion Gamer
Lost four blades that day!
And the minute his face didnt feel quite so sore,
He brought back all the shaving goodies hed taken before
And he brought back the scents! All the stuff that cost millions!
And he...
...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch!
shaved with some Williams!
Liked wet shaving a lot...
But the Grinch, Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!
The Grinch hated shaving! The whole wet shaving legions!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his canned goo wouldnt lather quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his splash had no bite.
But I think that the most likely reason of any
May have been that his Fusion had four blades too many.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His goo or his Fusion,
He stood in the snow and reached a nasty conclusion,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm happy shave dens below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Would be baby butt smooth when their shave was complete.
"And they're stropping straight razors!" he snarled with a sneer.
Tonight theyll be shaving! And full of good cheer!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep this smoothness from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the Who kith and kin
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their dens!
Then theyd lather up Trumpers! Theyd break out Old Spice!
Theyd shave for two passes, and sometimes shave thrice!
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
The Grinch made up a costume, all dressed up in brown
And he posed as the UPS man in Who-Town
He went to their dens, in the still of the night
And he took all the gear for shaving just right
He took all their razors, and brushes and creams
The Grinch took them all while the Whos lay a-dream
He took all their Injectors, and their Slims that adjusted
He took all the blades, both the new and the rusted
He took all their scents, and their after shave lotions
He took all the alum, the scents and the potions
He took all their stuff, and that mean Grinchy dope
Left nothing but VDH brushes and cheap drugstore soap
Some generic witch hazel from an old musty store
A few disposable razors, but left nothing more
Then he took all the good stuff to the top of Mount Crumpit
Three thousand feet up, to the tip-top to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming. "
"They're finding out now that no shaving goodness is coming! "
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! "
"They'll stare in their shave mirrors just a minute or two "
"Then all the wet shavers down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!
Thats a noise, grinned the Grinch,
That I simply must hear!
But he then heard a noise come over the snow
It was the sound that whiskers make when wet shavers mow!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without tallow! It came without fancy blades!
It came without gear that you need for great shaves!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe shaving," he thought, You cant buy it complete.
Maybe its not about stuff, its really technique!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch's Fusion Gamer
Lost four blades that day!
And the minute his face didnt feel quite so sore,
He brought back all the shaving goodies hed taken before
And he brought back the scents! All the stuff that cost millions!
And he...
...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch!
shaved with some Williams!
