I am 61 years old. My significant other/roomate/girlfriend is also 61. I was married for 32 years, she for 29. We are not going to be married, but we are really more married and committed than we ever were to our former spouses. Since we moved in together, however, we have both struggled with a comfortable term to refer to the other. At 61, girlfriend seems childish. Significant other is clumbsy. She's not my wife, not my spouse, not my fiancee. Interestingly, the accepted term of this forum, SWMBO, is probably the most comfortable of all terms. (By the way, she calls me her HWBMNJ--He Who Buys Me Nice Jewelry.) What term do you fellow members use? What is comfortable, acceptable, age appropriate, socially appropriate, and descriptive? Just curious.
How do you refer to your girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other?
- Thread starter Redstickjohn
- Start date
Interesting question. I haven't been in that situation but I think it really goes to respect and privacy - ie, I'd be more put off by someone being so nosy as to push the issue to get a "title" out of it than any infraction that may be caused by limited information. I dislike the use of the increasingly popular "partner" but that might be an option.
Lady friend
Best girl
Partner
Best friend
Dear friend
Soul Mate
None of your Da*n business
Then of course, as a man married over 15 years, there's always Her Majesty and Her Highness.
Lady friend
Best girl
Partner
Best friend
Dear friend
Soul Mate
None of your Da*n business
Then of course, as a man married over 15 years, there's always Her Majesty and Her Highness.
I don't like partner either for some reason, but my girlfriend and I have been living together for almost 8 years now. Partner makes it sound like we're in business together.
-Andy
-Andy
partner is used quite often in same sex couples, so that causes confusion.
i hate SWMBO with a passion. just makes me cringe.
i'm not married, but we've been together for 5 or 6 years, have two kids together. so, she's quite often called wife. i agree, g/f seems too childish and for me, less-committed. we will marry. when schedules and other things permit. more often than not, i call her by name. most everyone calls her my wife anyway, and they all kind of started it, i just went along with it.
i hate SWMBO with a passion. just makes me cringe.
i'm not married, but we've been together for 5 or 6 years, have two kids together. so, she's quite often called wife. i agree, g/f seems too childish and for me, less-committed. we will marry. when schedules and other things permit. more often than not, i call her by name. most everyone calls her my wife anyway, and they all kind of started it, i just went along with it.
Ditto on the implications of "partner".
It's a situation of our language not having caught up with the relatively recent social acceptability of non-platonic cohabitation, and aspects where language has caught up have fallen under the modern gender-neutral terminology.
My suggestion, depending on your social environment,
My Lady or "Ol' Lady"
My Man or "Ol' Man"
It's a situation of our language not having caught up with the relatively recent social acceptability of non-platonic cohabitation, and aspects where language has caught up have fallen under the modern gender-neutral terminology.
My suggestion, depending on your social environment,
My Lady or "Ol' Lady"
My Man or "Ol' Man"
- Thread starter
- #6
When we were first together, I used the term "partner" quite a few times, but several people thought I was referring to my gay boyfriend. Not that I have a problem with same sex relationships, but, you know......damn, I'm as heterosexual as you can be. We have a partial solution. When we were in Paris last week, I proposed under the Eifel Tower. We set the date for January 3, 2043. I guess I can call her "finance."
LOL!!!!!!!!
A friend of mine and his GF set a date of September 5th.
Soooo.... What are you going to do when you're both still alive and kicking at 91?
I refer to my 5 year girlfriend as my partner in crime.
"The dragon lady" works sometimes (unless she hears me) 
:rik1:
:rik1:
I don't see the problem with "girlfriend" 
I refer to my girlfriend as "nonexistent"
My girlfriend's grandfather is in a similar situation, although they do not live together. They were both married for many years, and lost their spouses. They exclusively "date" each other. He politely refers to her as "my friend Evelyn".
That has always seemed fine to me, and although it may not describe your situation to a T, anyone close to you knows the closeness of your relationship, and that's what is important.
That has always seemed fine to me, and although it may not describe your situation to a T, anyone close to you knows the closeness of your relationship, and that's what is important.
I always used "babe" but it started to annoy her that i never called her by her name. Introductions I always use girlfriend, but I guess i'm still young enough to use that word. Although i dont see the problem with it at any age. IMO there are only 3 "titles" needed when introductions are in order: Girlfriend/Boyfriend, Fiance, Wife/Husband.
If I was in your position I'd probably just say wife. You're acting like it and it explains itself if you're asked.
This is a great thread! My girlfriend and I have been together and living together for 4 years. We're in our late 40's and 50's and sometimes struggle with the same definitions. I'm less inclined to give a damn so I say girlfriend (going with the thought that if you matter in our life, you know the situation) but she struggles socially sometimes. I told her I don't really care what you call me or our situation, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, as long as she's ok with it.
How bout your "sammich maker"? 
My girlfriend and I have been together long enough (going on 8 years) that the term "partner" seems to work best in a lot of situations. I agree that it isn't perfect.
But really, use whatever you're comfortable with -- if folks are confused, they'll probably just ask. Tactfully, you'd hope.
But really, use whatever you're comfortable with -- if folks are confused, they'll probably just ask. Tactfully, you'd hope.
Toots.
toots I use to mess with my woman. I call her Cook a lot. lol. anything really to get a rise out of her, truthfully I agree with bloodletter. when someone asks, "none of your ____ business" is probably best. I only introduce her as "girlfriend" to family. if she meets a friend, I introduce her by her name. Because, I feel the introduction implies relationship either way.
if you are intoducing her, do so by name. people will figure out, or make up the rest
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