Thursday night my Mom was in significant pain and it did not seem she was getting the help she needed. I went to the facility she was at and stayed the night with her to make sure the nurses stayed on top of her pain.
Friday morning one of the doctors came in with a drug regimen that sounded wonderful. This doctor had survived a brain tumor and skull reconstruction so I was extremely comfortable with her recommendations. She planned on having several drugs compounded and a narcotic cocktail that should help with the pain. The doctor left shortly then returned and suggested that we have hospice come in as well to help her with making Mom comfortable. Keep in mind she is already in an end of life facility so she should not suffer pain anyway.
I agreed to consider hospice in as well but I did inquire about the cost. Medicare will cover one or the other, room & board at a facility or hospice. The doctor urged me to follow what she said. I advised her that even though I have control over Mom's medical that I still intended to discuss with my brothers before making any split decisions. She said she would have hospice come to me and if I did not like what they had to say I could cancel/not sign.
Over the next couple of hours I made a few phone calls and sat down with the director of the facility to inquire why they could not do comfort care without hospice considering this was the reason we chose their facility. We had already planned on hospice at home for the upcoming week. We just really wanted to get a baseline for meds before we took control at home. The director explained that we were given wrong information about their facility. With that I said okay if we have to pay I am fine with that, but I wanted to know if I could pay for hospice and allow Medicare to pay room and board. There is a $40.00 day difference. She said she did not think so. Next I receive a call form my Mom, hospice is in her room down the hall and wanted to talk with us. I headed to Mom's room and talked to the hospice representative. I posed the question to her about payment. She knew hospice was cheaper than room and board and said no one has ever asked if they could pay the hospice bill themselves. Now the hospice representative left the room and here is where stuff got crazy. She was gone about a minute and this is what transpired.
My Mom's door flies open and the doctor is yelling, "why don't you guys quit screwing around", (I thought briefly this was a joke) I said excuse me? The doctor said again "why are you screwing around squabbling over $40.00 a day and this woman is in pain". I said excuse me, do not yell at me. The doctor continues to yell stating "I am sorry I am having a bad day and you are screwing with me over money". I sternly told her this time, you are not going to yell at me. Next she says "fine I wont treat her, you go find her another doctor, I am not going to help her", as she threw her hands up stethoscope in hand. She turned around stormed out the door and slammed it. Thankfully she did this in front of the hospice nurse and also the social worker for the facility. Both of these women were in shock over what they just witnessed. My mom, crying at this point looks at them and said, she's having a bad day? I think I am having a bad day. I was informed less than 48 hours ago that I am terminal. I just told all of my children yesterday along with grandchildren. I have another grandson on his way now that I have to face and tell I am going to die soon. My Mom headed to the bathroom and vomited for some time from pain and upset. She wanted out of there ASAP. So I did get her out and we have her in the hospital with wonderful nurses. She is handling pain, no vomiting and she is eating. I will move her tomorrow either to another center or just bring her home a few days early.
What I need help with is advice on who to report this to. This doctor should not be working with anyone that has more feelings than a rock. Her behavior was worse than anything I have ever witnessed. I plan to write a letter to the hospital she works out of but I know there must be other people who need to be informed. Any suggestions?
Friday morning one of the doctors came in with a drug regimen that sounded wonderful. This doctor had survived a brain tumor and skull reconstruction so I was extremely comfortable with her recommendations. She planned on having several drugs compounded and a narcotic cocktail that should help with the pain. The doctor left shortly then returned and suggested that we have hospice come in as well to help her with making Mom comfortable. Keep in mind she is already in an end of life facility so she should not suffer pain anyway.
I agreed to consider hospice in as well but I did inquire about the cost. Medicare will cover one or the other, room & board at a facility or hospice. The doctor urged me to follow what she said. I advised her that even though I have control over Mom's medical that I still intended to discuss with my brothers before making any split decisions. She said she would have hospice come to me and if I did not like what they had to say I could cancel/not sign.
Over the next couple of hours I made a few phone calls and sat down with the director of the facility to inquire why they could not do comfort care without hospice considering this was the reason we chose their facility. We had already planned on hospice at home for the upcoming week. We just really wanted to get a baseline for meds before we took control at home. The director explained that we were given wrong information about their facility. With that I said okay if we have to pay I am fine with that, but I wanted to know if I could pay for hospice and allow Medicare to pay room and board. There is a $40.00 day difference. She said she did not think so. Next I receive a call form my Mom, hospice is in her room down the hall and wanted to talk with us. I headed to Mom's room and talked to the hospice representative. I posed the question to her about payment. She knew hospice was cheaper than room and board and said no one has ever asked if they could pay the hospice bill themselves. Now the hospice representative left the room and here is where stuff got crazy. She was gone about a minute and this is what transpired.
My Mom's door flies open and the doctor is yelling, "why don't you guys quit screwing around", (I thought briefly this was a joke) I said excuse me? The doctor said again "why are you screwing around squabbling over $40.00 a day and this woman is in pain". I said excuse me, do not yell at me. The doctor continues to yell stating "I am sorry I am having a bad day and you are screwing with me over money". I sternly told her this time, you are not going to yell at me. Next she says "fine I wont treat her, you go find her another doctor, I am not going to help her", as she threw her hands up stethoscope in hand. She turned around stormed out the door and slammed it. Thankfully she did this in front of the hospice nurse and also the social worker for the facility. Both of these women were in shock over what they just witnessed. My mom, crying at this point looks at them and said, she's having a bad day? I think I am having a bad day. I was informed less than 48 hours ago that I am terminal. I just told all of my children yesterday along with grandchildren. I have another grandson on his way now that I have to face and tell I am going to die soon. My Mom headed to the bathroom and vomited for some time from pain and upset. She wanted out of there ASAP. So I did get her out and we have her in the hospital with wonderful nurses. She is handling pain, no vomiting and she is eating. I will move her tomorrow either to another center or just bring her home a few days early.
What I need help with is advice on who to report this to. This doctor should not be working with anyone that has more feelings than a rock. Her behavior was worse than anything I have ever witnessed. I plan to write a letter to the hospital she works out of but I know there must be other people who need to be informed. Any suggestions?
