Funny things you've read on bathroom walls. Let's keep it clean, though...

[_MementoMori_]

if that's at all possible. Maybe this'll be a short-lived thread. Anyway, here's the reason I created this thread. I read this doozie tonight and had tears in my eyes. I don't know why, it just struck me as hilarious.

NOTICE: EMPLOYEES ARE REQUIRED TO WASH HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK.

but we don't

 

[dpm802]

NOTICE: EMPLOYEES ARE REQUIRED TO WASH HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK.

That has always struck me as one of the stupidest signs ever ... some even include instructions (in English and Spanish) on HOW TO wash one's hands.

If someone isn't smart enough to know that they should wash their hands after using the bathroom, why are they working there in the first place?

And actually, the sign should be amended to read "EVERYONE should wash their hands."

 

[dpm802]

"G-d is Dead." --Nietzsche.

"Nietzsche is Dead." --G-d.

 

[dpm802]

 

[Chalice]

Not sure if this is clean or not, but above a urinal...

"Why are you reading this? The real joke is in your hands"

 

[Bertilak]

Reminds me of instructions I* saw on a hot air dryer:

1. Press button
2. Hold hands under nozzle
   
   and added to that:
   
   
3. Wipe hands on pants

 

[Bertilak]

The first two are well known:

• Jesus saves
• Moses invests

This addition is perhaps less well known

• Oedipus Rex

 

[David in Boston]

Not sure if this is clean or not, but above a urinal...

"Why are you reading this? The real joke is in your hands"

A classic.

 

[mdunn]

written on the toilet paper holder in the bathroom of the engineering building at the university of NSW

"arts degrees: please take one"

 

[weenerdog3443]

2 of my favorites

Don't beam me up yet scottie I'm taking a shi

And

If you can pee above this line join the nyc fire dept

 

[galopede]

Over the urinals in one of my local pubs when smoking was still allowed:

"Please do not throw your fag ends in the urinal as it makes the soggy and hard to relight"

Gareth

 

[lenard]

Don't beam me up yet scottie I'm taking a shi

Yeah I saw that one in a uni toilet.

 

[_JP_]

I saw this many years ago and have never forgotten it. Or written it elsewhere until now...

"Here I sit, in a vapor.
The man before me left no paper
Now I must no longer linger.
Look out bum! Here comes my finger."

 

[BrianL]

"Free Cowboy hat liners" was written on the toilet seat protector dispenser. Every time I see one of those I laugh.

 

[knlgskr]

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

 

[Go West Young Man]

I saw this many years ago and have never forgotten it. Or written it elsewhere until now...

"Here I sit, in a vapor.
The man before me left no paper
Now I must no longer linger.
Look out bum! Here comes my finger."

Dating back to the old pay toilet days is the classic

Here I sit,
Broken-hearted.
Paid my dime,
And only farted.

 

[Bertilak]

Dating back to the old pay toilet days is the classic

Here I sit,
Broken-hearted.
Paid my dime,
And only farted.

The way I remember it, first and third lines rhyme, and it is not limited to pay toilets!

 

[livingontheedge]

John Wayne toilet paper, rough, tough and don't take sh*t from nobody.

 

[ouch]

My favorite bathroom graffiti-

He offered her honor.
She honored his offer.
And all night long,
He was on her and off her.

 

[DavyRay]

In a men's room stall in a factory, back in the day:

Some may come in here to sit and think.
I come in here, though, to s*** and stink.