Family cars and kids - advice or experiences appreciated!

[datzc]

So I have two sons 2 years apart. When they were in high school I bought an old used car for them so they could get back and forth to school and work.

Fast forward - they both went to the same college and continued to share the car. Now my elder son is graduating and heading off to grad school. He wants the car, of course, as it was his originally. That will leave my younger son, who will be in school 3 more years, without a car.

The car is a 96 Prizm (like a Corolla) and has held up surprisingly well. It's even a manual (I saw the other thread in this folder on manuals which prompted me to write this). So I'm thinking it will still be a good car for a while to come. I think it has 125K miles. However, neither kid is "into" cars or knows anything about care and maintenance. I end up doing everything when they come home for school breaks.

My wife and I both bought new cars a year ago so we're good.

The reason I'm posting is that I have a "spare" car, a 98 Escort, that I bought new 16 years ago and still runs great. I've been careful with it and kept it maintained. It has about 150K miles. I still use this car occasionally. Mostly I drive my new one but the Escort is a much better car in winter - better traction and control with the manual transmission - and I also drive it if I have to park in a questionable area of town or in a lot where I might get door dings. Also handy to have in bad weather like rain, snow, and mud so my newer car can stay in the garage.

The logical move would be to give the Escort to my younger son so he'll have wheels the next few years. But I'm having second thoughts. Because he doesn't care about cars he tends to eat and drink and leave trash behind in cars. Never takes it to a car wash, never checks oil or tire pressure, doesn't pay attention to rattles, etc. I sort of feel affectionate about my Escort and as I mentioned I like to have it around at home for my spare car.

Any ideas? Quit worrying and give him the Escort? Buy him a different used car? Do nothing and let him go without a car at college? Let him buy his own or help finance it? Thanks for any advice or if you've had similar experiences with kids. Sorry for long post.

 

[Commander Quan]

It sounds like you really have a sentimental attachment to the escort, but the reality is you are the only person it's valuable too. Even in excellent condition it's a 16 year old car with a lot of miles on it, and almost anyone else would use is a a commuter-beater. I would make him buy it off you either in cash or work over the summer, at least then you know he'll be driving a reliable car instead of someone else's problem, and he may be more inclined to take care of it.

 

[ouch]

That Prizm (a Toyota Corolla with a Chevy emblem) is one of the lowest maintenance cars ever. It has a stainless steel exhaust and a timing chain instead of a belt.

The Escort sounds like a pretty good college kid car.

 

[datzc]

This model has a Geo emblem, in fact - the Chevy symbol came in later years. Yes, my mechanic says both the Escort and Prizm are good cars to keep for the long haul.

 

[acesn8s]

I like Commander Quam's idea of having him buy the Escort from you. Nothing like having to shell out your hard earned cash to help you appreciate the value in something.

 

[datzc]

Should I make the older son buy the Prizm from me? Also I've been paying for all gas, insurance, registration, maintenance. At what age do you guys start making your kids pay for all the extras?

 

[abragus]

I like Commander Quam's idea of having him buy the Escort from you. Nothing like having to shell out your hard earned cash to help you appreciate the value in something.

+1

My dad let me "lease" his Saturn in my last two years of college. He took care of insurance and I paid for all maintenance and detailing at least once every 6 months.

And I think it'd only be fair to have your older son buy the car from you, assuming he has an income. For your younger son I think it's be smart to have him at least pay for gas. And you can send friendly maintenance reminders so he can come home or take care of it on his own.

 

[mretzloff]

Maybe I am just biased because of my age (23), but I would not ask your child to purchase the car from you. Given the cars age and mileage that just seems like nickel and diming, and there will come a day when you will be happy that your son is there to take care of you without expecting reimbursement. Again, I am probably biased, and that is just my two cents.

My parents stopped paying for my expenses once I finished college. I feel like I definitely had it good because many of my friends were not so lucky. You could always use this as an excuse to get yourself a new or "new" used car. That is what my parents did. In 2008, my father gave me his 2003 Honda Accord LX and bought my mother a 2008 Toyota RAV4 Limited. The Honda Accord LX ran fine until my sister totaled it...

 

[ouch]

Everyone's situation is different, as is their relationship with their family. In a rare miscalcualtion, I promised my daughter a car when she receives her black belt in taekwondo. I really didn't expect such rapid advancement, but I'll gladly pay my debt.

I work with plenty of people who say "Screw my kids! I worked for my money and dammit they'll work for theirs." I'm sure that some of them have valid reasons for saying that, but I could never understand the sentiment. When I was young, I didn't have two nickels to rub together, and I consider it a privilege to be able to help my kid out.

On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with expecting them to contribute, one way or another, into any scheme that brings them the benefit of a car. Many of the aforementioned scenarios (picking up insurance, maintenance, etc.) are all pretty good deals for the recipient. They all have to learn sooner or later that nothing is free.

 

[acesn8s]

As soon as I got my license I had to pay the difference in the fmaily car insurance bill. I also paid for gas. When I graduated high school, my grandparents gave me their old car. My father had it registered under his name, but I was responsible for it. I treated that car poorly and it never saw 90,000 miles. That was a learning experience in preventative maintenance for me.

One thing you could consider is taking any money your son(s) give you for the car and holding on to it. You could use it to help them out on any unforseen issues, or even return it to them years later when they go to buy their own car.

 

[noahpictures]

I agree with Ouch about the car and life in general.
The Prizm should make it to plus 200K miles without any problems. So post grad school for the elder son.
It's much more difficult to make it nowadays than decades ago. I'd give the Ford to the younger one and teach him how to maintain it.

 

[ctr]

If you have an emotional attachment to the Escort keep it and buy him a reliable older used car. A man's relationship with his car can be a serious thing for some.

 

[Argonaut]

Why don't you look for a used Prism or Corolla like the other car? It would be cheap and there wouldn't be any reason for complaining that one kid got a better car. Keep that Escort for yourself, you know it'll break your heart the first time he comes home with 6 month old French fries and spent ketchup packets wedged in the dashboard. My grandmother has an early 90's Escort that my grandfather got a few years before he died. My grandmother learned to drive in that car, she never had a drivers license until a year after he passed away, so it's kind of a family heirloom now. Darn good car in the snow, surprisingly so even.

 

[ouch]

In a related note, around ten plus years ago, my daughter and a girl down the block who was in her class were losing a tooth at the same time. The girl's father was a real bigshot loudmouth, so when my kid's tooth popped I gave her $50. Needless to say, it caused considerable strife in my neighbor's house. If I live to be a grandfather, I'll make a point of mentioning it to my grandkids, along with a lesson on inflation adjustment.

 

[captaincaveman]

Should I make the older son buy the Prizm from me? Also I've been paying for all gas, insurance, registration, maintenance. At what age do you guys start making your kids pay for all the extras?

Yes, it would be fair to make him buy the Prizm.

My dad gave me a car but I was responsible for my own fuel, insurance, registration, maintenance, etc from day 1. Then again, it was a different time; the economy was bursting at the seams and a smart 16 year old could rake in plenty of dough. I was smart back then, hell I knew it all, now not so much...must be why I'm so broke these days. Anyway I digress...cutting them off might be a heck of a shock.

Sell him the Escort, sell older one the Prizm, and buy yourself a car to replace the Escort. It could be another Escort just like the old one; you can settle in to it and it will feel like the old one, but you won't have to worry about your non-car-guy son dealing with a used car of unknown history. It could be a car you've always wanted, if you could get into something in an appropriate price range (I said a car you've always wanted, not the car you've always wanted).

One thing you could consider is taking any money your son(s) give you for the car and holding on to it. You could use it to help them out on any unforseen issues, or even return it to them years later when they go to buy their own car.

Best idea in the whole thread!

 

[BSAGuy]

Perfect solution. If son has some skin on the game, he may be more careful with the car. If he is not, no big loss since the car has very little real value to a third party buyer.

Cheap wheels for him until he gets out on his own, plus a car with a known maintenance history.

It sounds like you really have a sentimental attachment to the escort, but the reality is you are the only person it's valuable too. Even in excellent condition it's a 16 year old car with a lot of miles on it, and almost anyone else would use is a a commuter-beater. I would make him buy it off you either in cash or work over the summer, at least then you know he'll be driving a reliable car instead of someone else's problem, and he may be more inclined to take care of it.

 

[Eeyore]

I do not think my dad would have accepted it if I had left trash (apart from a scrap of paper) in the car, or had neglected the maintenance ... his car, or my own, when I still lived at my parents! You own something, you care for it.

(we did leave trash in his car once when I had been away with some friends ... my dad's reaction was a valuable lesson)

 

[datzc]

Thanks for responses - no decisions yet but nice to hear different opinions. I would like to think that when people have to pay for something, they take better care of it as opposed to getting something for free. Then again, I've seen lots of examples where that's not true. These days cars are like rolling restaurants. When I want fast food, I always go inside because the drive-thru lanes are always way more crowded than the lobbies. Not just kids but adults are eating/calling/texting while driving.