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English Noob saying hello...

Welcome to B+B, I love the North East, my Mother came from near Redcar. I have spent a lot of time in Northumberland myself.
 
Welcome from Idaho!

Now put your big boy's pants on, and buy yourself a fabulous George Wostenholm & Son straight razor. Made from the finest Sheffield steel, in your neck of the woods. I suggest the oldest one possible (the ones that have the tang etched, not the newer ones that are stamped). "Newer" ones were produced from 1870s (according to my research). Then you can say to your daughter that you are completely "environmentally friendly". After that, you will have to explain to your wife why do you need 10-15 straight razors from all famous makers in different countries (you can always point to her "shoe collection")! Every single new acquisition will bring you pride, and joy.

The rabbit hole is pretty deep.
 
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