M
modern man
Tell me about it.
Engagement ring questions
- Thread starter echophonic
- Start date
Tell me about it.
I bought my engagement ring while I was still in college. Saved and scrimped to get that thing. I ate PBJ sandwiches almost every day for lunch, but I paid cash.
I shopped a lot of places and ended up going with an independent jeweler. Bought a simple gold solitaire. She was conservative and I knew that this would be a good fit. (This was before the problems with blood diamonds had been publicized.)
If I had to do it again today, I would find a place that I could buy a diamond solitaire for the surprise proposal and then return if she wanted something else. I know Shane Co. does this and I bet other places do as well.
Having a surprise ring that you're proud of is a magic moment. However, make sure she knows that you want her to be happy with the ring and that your feelings won't be hurt if she decides to swap it.
I was young and brash when I proposed.
I'm going to give you some advice I really wish somebody had told me before I proposed.
My girlfriend and I had dated through college. It wasn't like some overnight romance. I knew her family. Marriage was clearly on the horizon for us.
I didn't discuss it with her parents first. I proposed and we annouced it to her parents. That was a mistake. I should have shown them more respect.
A gentleman would have handled it differently.
I shopped a lot of places and ended up going with an independent jeweler. Bought a simple gold solitaire. She was conservative and I knew that this would be a good fit. (This was before the problems with blood diamonds had been publicized.)
If I had to do it again today, I would find a place that I could buy a diamond solitaire for the surprise proposal and then return if she wanted something else. I know Shane Co. does this and I bet other places do as well.
Having a surprise ring that you're proud of is a magic moment. However, make sure she knows that you want her to be happy with the ring and that your feelings won't be hurt if she decides to swap it.
I was young and brash when I proposed.
I'm going to give you some advice I really wish somebody had told me before I proposed.
My girlfriend and I had dated through college. It wasn't like some overnight romance. I knew her family. Marriage was clearly on the horizon for us.
I didn't discuss it with her parents first. I proposed and we annouced it to her parents. That was a mistake. I should have shown them more respect.
A gentleman would have handled it differently.
My partner and I have been together for 10yrs now, and yes it's sad but she is still waiting for a ring. I think at this point she would settle for anything, but me being the guy that I am, want to be able to give her the best that I can. If I can't give her the best that I can, I personally find it hard giving her anything. Stupid isn't it!
I have travelled this route on a few occasions with the best of intentions, but I always end up not doing anything. I think my long suffering and patient better half has all but given up hope of ever having my ring on her finger. I have got to admit I do feel very guilty about it at times and for good reason.
I have gone to this site http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/forum.asp?forumID=3 on a few occasions to learn more about the art of knowing the difference between good and indifferent diamonds. It is a very knowledgeable site with huge amounts of info. I believe now that I'm feeling really guilty again, that I will be visiting this site real soon.
Cheers
John
I have travelled this route on a few occasions with the best of intentions, but I always end up not doing anything. I think my long suffering and patient better half has all but given up hope of ever having my ring on her finger. I have got to admit I do feel very guilty about it at times and for good reason.
I have gone to this site http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/forum.asp?forumID=3 on a few occasions to learn more about the art of knowing the difference between good and indifferent diamonds. It is a very knowledgeable site with huge amounts of info. I believe now that I'm feeling really guilty again, that I will be visiting this site real soon.
Cheers
John
Not if you don't want to get married!
- Thread starter
- #45
Wow. I had one heck of a week and wasn't able to read or respond to this, but many many MANY thanks guys. This thread has definitely been favorited.
I started educating myself about the diamonds themselves (yes, you guys have convinced me) and there's a wealth of info out there. It's strange too, it seems prices are all over the map, even on the same diamond. I'm looking for middle of the road-- SI1, H or I, and round cut. I actually didn't even know some would get diamonds for this purpose in Princess or Emerald.
In terms of the financing, yeah-- I haven't saved. San Francisco's an expensive town and I'm just starting to get moving in an actual career, not lower waged "jobs," so I've got a bit. I do, however, have a couple of collections that I'll be liquidating to finance this, so that'll give it a boost for sure. These Wemenz people are expensive.
And at first, I was really set on getting a nice ring, vintage, for her, but you guys are right-- a nice solitaire with a later search with the both of us seems keen. What's an average price for the ring itself? I'm thinking about $1-1.5K... is that too high or too low for a mid-20s couple just getting started (just trying to set realistic goals for budgeting)?
So, it looks like no new AD's anytime soon... good thing I just got a 177 and a Bambino, as well as a couple good razor auctions and a couple nice soaps... I'm (what I would like to think of myself as) set for a while now.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE EVERYBODY!
I started educating myself about the diamonds themselves (yes, you guys have convinced me) and there's a wealth of info out there. It's strange too, it seems prices are all over the map, even on the same diamond. I'm looking for middle of the road-- SI1, H or I, and round cut. I actually didn't even know some would get diamonds for this purpose in Princess or Emerald.
In terms of the financing, yeah-- I haven't saved. San Francisco's an expensive town and I'm just starting to get moving in an actual career, not lower waged "jobs," so I've got a bit. I do, however, have a couple of collections that I'll be liquidating to finance this, so that'll give it a boost for sure. These Wemenz people are expensive.
And at first, I was really set on getting a nice ring, vintage, for her, but you guys are right-- a nice solitaire with a later search with the both of us seems keen. What's an average price for the ring itself? I'm thinking about $1-1.5K... is that too high or too low for a mid-20s couple just getting started (just trying to set realistic goals for budgeting)?
So, it looks like no new AD's anytime soon... good thing I just got a 177 and a Bambino, as well as a couple good razor auctions and a couple nice soaps... I'm (what I would like to think of myself as) set for a while now.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE EVERYBODY!
Zack, just buy her one as cheap as you can get away with. There are lots of reasons for that. Also, if she wants a full blown blow-out type of Wedding,
let her Dad foot the bill. You should not be reasonable (besides the cheap ring) for no more than it'd cost for her to drag you down to the Justice of the Peace for an official "state sanctioned" marriage....
Just mho, based on several wive's.....
LOL, the cheapest ring possible is in lline with the old saying :
" a diamond is forever (& it's hers), a marriage is not...."
let her Dad foot the bill. You should not be reasonable (besides the cheap ring) for no more than it'd cost for her to drag you down to the Justice of the Peace for an official "state sanctioned" marriage....
Just mho, based on several wive's.....
LOL, the cheapest ring possible is in lline with the old saying :
" a diamond is forever (& it's hers), a marriage is not...."
LOL...one of my "marriages" was "solemnized" at SF City Hall, 2nd floor. Cost of the license & everything was about $10 at the time (long-time ago)
thank goodness, the voice of reason chimed in..
Gosh fellas. I have never heard so many men in one place on that side of the discussion. A big ring is a big ring. I am all for romance and whatnot, but that 3 month or heck even two month idea is a deBeer's marketing ploy. The best way to sour a marriage is to get into financial hardship. I can think of no easier way than to purchase a depreciating liability like a $12,000+ ring. Like the guy driving around in an H2 with spinning rims, its pure fluff, and pricey fluff. I think your best bet is a non traditional one if possible to go on a trip to a gem producing/trading country, and get the ring there, on a two week vacation. That would be a memorable and much nicer way of getting a) an affordable ring b) a vacation, and you could do it for way cheaper. Go to South East Asia, if you feel adventurous. Thailand/Myanmar has some great gems. If you like Europe, go for a week to Amsterdam. Buy a .5 carat, or a .3.. get a good one, not a big one. Whatever you can afford, but make it worth while, not just big and pricey. When the kids start coming in and you are in a huge mortgage, you will look at that ring and think, "that was one great trip", not "that damn thing is killing me"...
I've got a question, when engagement ring shopping, how much price negotiation is appropriate? I've been looking at Tiffany's, is it appropriate to haggle over an engagement ring price there? I've never bought any very expensive jewelry before.
Not really how I would view entering into marriege...
TEHO I guess...technically diamonds appreciate, not depreciate though. My wife and I both like jewelry, so I did buy her something very nice. BTW, no H2 with spinners here and don't regret the purchase at all.
I don't think that Tiffany would be the type of establishment to haggle, but would be curious if others know differently.
Bang-on with the advice about financial hardship hurting a marriage! (And the Wife grumbling to herself that her Hubby went cheap-o on the ring won't exactly be a "Goot Thing" though ...
)Saving money by taking a holiday to Thailand? (I'd be worried about getting shafted in an unregulated third-world market where you don't have any easy recouse if months later you find out you've been sold a Sow's Ear that you were told was a Silk Purse ... your local reputable jeweler won't (hopefully) screw you over and if he does or makes a mistake you can sue his @$$ with relative ease and with a good chance of actually collecting if ... er ... when you win.) But it certainly would make for a memorable ring-buying experience!
This quuuestion I very much want an answer to ... hopefully soon ... not that there's any particular reason, mind you, just some ... er ... urgent general interest ... yeah, that's it ...
This quuuestion I very much want an answer to ... hopefully soon ... not that there's any particular reason, mind you, just some ... er ... urgent general interest ... yeah, that's it ...
What?
This question I very much want an answer to ... hopefully soon ... not that there's any particular reason, mind you, just some ... er ... urgent general interest ... yeah, that's it ...
Thanks, I didn't notice that my keyboard got stuck when I was typing out the word 'question' ...
Thanks, I didn't notice that my keyboard got stuck when I was typing out the word 'question' ...
Once again, What?
I would say that diamonds don't necessarily appreciate or depreciate. If the market for them is artificially made scarce, one wonders what would happen to the "value" of the diamonds if the sellers suddenly flooded the market. deBeers is famous for attempting to reduce the supply side of diamonds to bolster value. I am not arguing your point, it is true, but just offering a take, ymmv. Plus, retail markups and first world labor is what you lose in a ring when walk out of the showroom with it. Perhaps I should have been more clear. thanks
Bang-on with the advice about financial hardship hurting a marriage! (And the Wife grumbling to herself that her Hubby went cheap-o on the ring won't exactly be a "Goot Thing" though ...
Saving money by taking a holiday to Thailand? (I'd be worried about getting shafted in an unregulated third-world market where you don't have any easy recouse if months later you find out you've been sold a Sow's Ear that you were told was a Silk Purse ... your local reputable jeweler won't (hopefully) screw you over and if he does or makes a mistake you can sue his @$$ with relative ease and with a good chance of actually collecting if ... er ... when you win.) But it certainly would make for a memorable ring-buying experience!
This is somewhat true everywhere you buy jewelry. Ask anybody in the jewelry business and they will tell you the biggest "shafters" are the Tiffany and Co's et al. They are generally selling the same products at a 80-90% markup of the mom and pop down the street. There are famous gem scams in nearly every gem producing/trading place. However, you can find many reputable dealers in these countries. (and neighborhoods if you would like to get off west 57th and look around)
Some good sources of info are http://www.ajsgems.com/thai-gems-and-jewelry-traders-association.htm
http://www.diamondworld.net/fairs/fair_detail.asp?fairid=133
not for everyone, but it would be for me if I ever get "pinned down".
I bought an estate ring from my wife for our engagement, it is a great 20's basket ring with a lot of fillagree, and 3 small diamonds. (I was broke and unemployed, so three months salary was like $10 at the time). She loves it to death. The ring is a symbol, so find one you like, I bet she likes it too!
A single stone.
Thank You.
Don't worry too much about the ring. How you propose and give her the ring is more important than the ring itself. I did nothing special when I proposed and 20 years later I still hear about it. Talk to both her parents ahead of time and do something very special around the proposal....maybe a weekend away, tuck it in a glass of champagne, and present it to her while the sun sets. I saw this done in a restaurant outdoors in Aruba. The guy got on his knees while the waiter delivered champagne with the ring in it, while the sun was setting. It all shows you really care and want her.
For the ring, just go to a reputable jewlery store and have them give you a view of diamonds good quality, fair, poor, etc. Buy the best you can without going deep in debt.
For the ring, just go to a reputable jewlery store and have them give you a view of diamonds good quality, fair, poor, etc. Buy the best you can without going deep in debt.
