Dating sites.....worth it or worthless?

[KarthVader]

I've been happily single for about 6 years now, but I am curious about dating websites and their rate of success. My goal is to meet people of similar mindset and caliber and perhaps break my 6 year streak of bachelorhood.

I'm moving to Ft. Lauderdale, FL in less than a week, and I know 2 people in the entire state of Florida. I was wondering what this community's experience has been with dating websites and whether they are even worth my time and money.

I have no problem meeting people and engaging in small talk, but I'm getting to the point in my life where I don't want to deal with the riff raff (no offense) at the bars and clubs. On top of that, I'm in a master's program and will be working to support myself; I don't see much of chance to go out and meet women.

Any suggestions and advice for this situation and/or moving to Florida is appreciated.

 

[Uncle Erik]

I don't know if a dating service will necessarily weed out non-candidates. Plenty of them register and not all profiles are terribly accurate.

My biggest beef is that you can't really get the true measure of a person until
you're face-to-face. Body language and how someone presents themself just doesn't come across online.

If I were you, I'd start networking when you get there. You will have classmates - one of them might have a sister, friend, friend's friend, etc. that they can introduce you to. Even if you don't have a lot of spare time, volunteer a little. You'll meet people and will be able to network.

I'm sorta single at the moment, but am planning to take a small trip this weekend with someone who might turn into a relationship. I met her a few years ago through a friend.

 

[Barbarian]

I have one friend who met his current wife on a dating site.

I have another that had nothing but failure and misery on a dating site.

YMMV.

 

[proxymoron]

I actually know a fair few people who've used dating services ranging from The Onion classifieds to E-harmony. As you'd expect, results have been mixed but surprisingly (to me), users tend to skew more female up here.

My advice based on their experiences: don't lie about your height. Ever. They really hate that.

 

[perry]

Check out www.meetup.com and find some groups that interest you. Meet some folks that have similar interests as you. There's pretty much every topic you could think of.. Make a few friends here and there and who knows.

 

[Trawlerman]

I tried it once. Never again!

I met some right weirdo's and no mistake. I got talking to one female (I would call her a lady but she wasn't no lady) in a nearby town and ended up feeling the wrath of her husband. She had told me she was divorced. The highlight was when he got hold of my number from her and called me 26 times throughout the night.

Another was nice enough but i'm not exactly sure she needed a man. Perhaps another lady would have been more suited to her.



I think the problem with some of ladies is that they are either too shy to actually get out there and meet somebody so end up left on the shelf forever. Or that they are too demanding of a man of have expectations about looks etc., that they will spend a lifetime looking for somebody that doesn't exist.

Either way, this is not how it should be. OK it works for some but not for me.


My biggest stumbling block with dating was always in not having much belief in myself. Once I got over that and stopping trying too hard I had much better luck with the ladies. I've found that ladies like a man who is sure of himself but not too cocky.

A bit of old fashioned manliness doesn't go amiss either. My partner loved the fact that I was well groomed, took reasonable care of myself and wore a uniform for my job. More than anything else though, just a few odd things like walking her home and not expecting anything for the little things I did went a real long win to winning her heart.

 

[Barbash]

If you were happily ...

Sounds like someone got stood up by their internet girlfriend.

 

[Luc]

I tried online dating many moons ago and didn't find anything good or long lasting that way. If I look back (on all the relationships that I had) the ones where I was introduced by a friend or a friend of a friend were always better. I've been very happy now for 8 years and it's still like the first week!

As always, YMMV!

 

[Desdinova]

If you were happily ...

No different than meeting a woman anywhere else.

There are false fronts everywhere one would look for a woman.


Even to have an introduction through a friend doesn't mean much. Your friend may know a female aquaintance but doesn't know what she would be like as a romatic relationship.




You take your chances everywhere.





In defense of online dating, there are some good catches out there.
I've been using Plenty of Fish for a couple of years now. Yes there are some freaks, but I have met just as many that are keepers. I'm just not in a place where I want to settle down. I'm enjoying singlehood to much.



I would also suggest that if the majority of online women in your area are such questionable character perhaps it's more a reflection of the society in the area you live than the potential of meeting someone worthwhile using dating sites in general.

 

[americanarmsdealer]

Mever used one, and I'm happily married for right at 10 years. I always half jokingly say, "Be paired with your very own psycho today! Now you can join for free!" When someone mentions these sites or I see a commercial for one. Maybe that's just the cynic in me, though.

 

[SpyvSpy]

Met my wife on Match.com

 

[NightLad]

The ones you pay for all run on the same basic match algorithm. The difference is, they don't let you freely browse other members so you have to stay chained to them in the hopes they will send you some links. eHarmony usually takes about 4 months or so before they send you anything.

Try OKCupid.com, a totally free site. Fill out as many or as few questions as you like, fill out a profile, and have fun. The tests, from serious to silly, can be fun, too. This site uses virtually the same matching algorithm as places like eHarmony, etc. The biggest difference is that you do the searches yourself.

I dated someone I met there for over a year, and I made a couple of really good friends. Real-life friends. Actually, one of them only lived about 5-10 from my house! Small world.

Don't use these sites with the expectation of finding the love of your life... but it can happen. My friend married a man she met on MySpace of all places. They had not even exchanged pictures the first time they met. They are now expecting their second child.

 

[KarthVader]

If you were happily ...

I know exactly where you're coming from and I empathize.

I figured that since I was moving to a new place, I might give dating another chance.

Looks like 'YMMV' is very applicable to this situation.

 

[ackvil]

I can't speak for all sites but I met my wonderful wife on match.com. I had been married twice before - my last marriage was to a person with severe mental problems. My wife had been single for 20+ years. We both met a lot of people from match - some of whom were trutshful and some were liars. It's like everything else - invesitigate and don't believe everything that is on their profile - inculding pictures. My wife and I spoke on the telephone a number of times before we met and we both had a good feeling about each other.

Well, we are married two years now - and we are both very happy. In fact, a number of married friends we know met on match or other dating sites.

One caveat about Fort Lauderdale. I was living in Boca Raton, FL and my wife in Fort Lauderdale when we met. She had lived there off and on for 20+ years.

We both went to a lot of clubs, bars, etc. in Fort Lauderdale. I can honestly say that there are a LOT of phonies out there. Not all, but a lot. When I say Fort Lauderdale I mean the city not the burbs.

Good luck on your move. My wife and I lived in a town house in Fort Lauderale for one year and then moved out to St. Petersburg. However, have a number of friends out there and go back frequently. So, if you have any question, just ask.

 

[Go West Young Man]

Used them a couple times back in my single days, made some good friends, had some good dates, but nothing terribly serious ever developped.

The good thing is that it allows you to do a bit of pre-screening without your hormones jumping in as they would in person. Sure, people lie on their profiles, but by corresponding in writing you can see if they're articulate, if they have a sense of humour, if they can keep up a conversation, get a feeling for their interests and hobbies all without getting distracted by her boobs.

 

[KarthVader]

I can't speak for all sites but I met my wonderful wife on match.com. I had been married twice before - my last marriage was to a person with severe mental problems. My wife had been single for 20+ years. We both met a lot of people from match - some of whom were trutshful and some were liars. It's like everything else - invesitigate and don't believe everything that is on their profile - inculding pictures. My wife and I spoke on the telephone a number of times before we met and we both had a good feeling about each other.

Well, we are married two years now - and we are both very happy. In fact, a number of married friends we know met on match or other dating sites.

One caveat about Fort Lauderdale. I was living in Boca Raton, FL and my wife in Fort Lauderdale when we met. She had lived there off and on for 20+ years.

We both went to a lot of clubs, bars, etc. in Fort Lauderdale. I can honestly say that there are a LOT of phonies out there. Not all, but a lot. When I say Fort Lauderdale I mean the city not the burbs.

Good luck on your move. My wife and I lived in a town house in Fort Lauderale for one year and then moved out to St. Petersburg. However, have a number of friends out there and go back frequently. So, if you have any question, just ask.

I'm glad a dating site was successful for you.

And what do you mean by phonies? People that are fake? Or people that are shallow and say one thing but do another?

 

[ackvil]

I'm glad a dating site was successful for you.

And what do you mean by phonies? People that are fake? Or people that are shallow and say one thing but do another?

I mean people that are less than truthful. For example, one lady I met claimed she was a stock broker. In truth she worked as a admin assistant in a brokerage office. She was a nice person - and didn't have to say this.

My wife and I were having a drink on a bar at 17th St. when we overheard a man tell a lady he was trying to impress that he owned a certain yacht. In fact, he didn't own any such yacht - he only knew the person who owned it.

Unfortunately, too many people we came in contact with to be generous to them exaggerated thier jobs, education, etc.

 

[KarthVader]

I mean people that are less than truthful. For example, one lady I met claimed she was a stock broker. In truth she worked as a admin assistant in a brokerage office. She was a nice person - and didn't have to say this.

My wife and I were having a drink on a bar at 17th St. when we overheard a man tell a lady he was trying to impress that he owned a certain yacht. In fact, he didn't own any such yacht - he only knew the person who owned it.

Unfortunately, too many people we came in contact with to be generous to them exaggerated thier jobs, education, etc.

That's unfortunate. Authenticity and honesty are among the traits I value the most.

 

[Confilo]

Florida is the Sunshine state where opportunities to meet the ladies are many...I grew up there

 

[LarryAndro]

Several female friends are on dating sites, or have been recently active. They complain bitterly about men posting inflated bio's. No, men, we are not all god's gift to women!

I have read that statistically, you do as well with online dating as face to face.

Here's a good Wikipedia article...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_dating_service

Best wishes!