I am an audiologist, and I have also worked with several ENT's (surgeons of the ear). Here's the definitive, medical answer.
Q-tips are fine for the outer ear, just don't jam them into the canal. Just like the proverbial "tip of the iceberg" the small amount of wax you may take out is no match for the larger amount you'll mush back into the canal, where it will be more painful to remove. The inner two-thirds of the canal have very thin skin and is a sensitive area.
The three accepted methods for wax removal are: curettes (I use these - a metal or nylon/plastic loop that pulls out wax), suction and water irrigation. Physicians, nurses or audiologists can use these. Whatever he or she is most comfortable using, go with that method.
NEVER let anybody put a lit candle in your ear. Ineffective at best, dangerous at worst.
Finally, ear wax is like red wine. In moderation it's good for you. It is virucidal, fungicidal, bacteriocidal and insecticidal to a degree.
Well put. I always tell patients to never use Q-tips. Running warm water into them while showering and if really bad a drop or two of mineral oil to soften it up before the warm water.
OK I have a very thick unusually sticky ear wax, oil only makes it more sticky and the alcohol / peroxide mix that is often recommended by doctors doesn't work. sometimes when the weather is extremely dry for a long time the wax will dry and harden so hard that the doctors will have a very difficult time removing it. It also doesn't help that the outer end of my ear canals are lower than the inner part and they are extremely small to boot. (smaller than most kids ear canals) And if that wasn't enough I wear hearing aids