Children these days

[mretzloff]

Before I begin, let me say that I'm not some old guy (no offense intended) who is just complaining about kids; I'm only 18.

Anyway, I was riding go-karts today at a NASCAR-themed section of a local mall and something got me thinking. There was this ten-year-old who was crashing and bumping into everyone out of spite. When you ride go-karts, the goal is to not hit anyone, in fact it's not allowed. Now, I'm no sissy. I don't care if someone hits me, but when they do it just to be an ***, I get mad. Anyway, he kept driving like a jerk and ramming everyone, so when the round was over I had a few choice words with him.

Maybe my vocalizing my anger was a little immature, but I think it was deserved. Children these days, my generation included, never learn unless you bark at them or smack them. After I said my choice words to him, his mother, who was no where to be found when her son was acting like a jerk, runs up to me and starts yelling at me how I should not curse at children, and blah, blah, blah. I just told her she needs to raise her children correctly and that this could have been avoided had he just driven normally (I even moved aside so he could pass me).

That got me thinking, children these days, my generation included, has it too good. My mother's and in a more serious case, my grandmother's, generation would never have dared act like this. Maybe I was being an immature punk by running my mouth, but I think it was well deserved, because, as I have stated, children never learn unless yelled at or hit. Since hitting him and landing in jail wasn't an option, I yelled at him.

[/rant]

Sorry for the rant. I just think that since most of you are older than I am, you would have some useful thoughts to share.

 

[Evbo]

I have 2 boys, 11 & 6.

First of all, my older guy would never, EVER do anything like that. He knows better. I know parents always say that about their kids -- "My son's an angel!" -- but in this case it's true. My son would never behave that way in a million years -- it's just not who he is. That, and the fact that he'd probably be terrified he was gonna crash and kill himself.

Secondly, I'd like to know where the mother was. Because if anyone's to blame here, it's her. Maybe it's just me, but you don't leave your 10 year-old alone on a go-kart track! If I ever saw my kid behaving like that I would've gotten him out of that go-kart in a big-time hurry and he wouldn't be getting back into one anytime soon. That being said, even though the kid was behaving badly and royally pissed you off (and justifiably so), you didn't have the right to yell at him. I know you're "only 18" but who's the adult here? The fact that the 10 year-old was acting like a spoiled, pissed-off brat doesn't give you license to act the same way. Yes, he was wrong and you're right. But he's a kid. You're not.

I would've found the mother, expressed my displeasure at her absence, stated the fact that her son was acting deplorably (while making sure that he heard every word of my speech) and gone on my merry way. It might not give you the sweet, visceral revenge you were looking for but there it is.

My 2¢.

 

[mretzloff]

Evbo, point well taken. Thanks.

 

[SRock]

I agree with the Mother that you shouldn't be cursing at a child. However, I also agree with the remaining 99% of your post. I have two kids, 9 and 5. Even my 5 year old knows better than to act like that. Even at 5 years old he is capable of discerning the difference between Go-Karts and Bumper Cars. Our society has gotten so politically correct and touchy feely that parents are afraid to correct their kids. Am I advocating beating a child, absolutely not! Am I advocating the occasional spanking when everything else has failed, you bet I am. I didn't get spanked often as a kid, but when I did, there was no doubt in my mind that I deserved it. Either the offense was horrendous or it was something I'd previously been repeatedly punished for in other ways.

Example:

When my daugter was 3 we went the Experience Music Project in Seattle. We were walking along when my daughter noticed an elderly woman (we're talking Methuselah old) walked by slowly with a walker. At this point in the day my daughter was tired, cranky and bored with a museum that was not meant for toddlers. So she decided to walk over and kick the ladies walker. I promplty pulled her away and swatted her on the behind. Neither her hind end or my hand were blistered, bruised, welted or otherwise injured, it was just enough to embarass her and let her know I meant business. The old lady turned to me and said, "Thank you young man, I'm alright." At the same time another woman, 40ish ran across the floor and got in my face and said, "Don't beat your kid." Naturally being the calm, cool and collected person that I am I said softly, that was a spanking, if you'd like to know what a beating is keep sticking your nose in my business.

What gives these people the right? I am a great Father. I'd never neglect my children in anyway, but there are a times when a spanking is in order.

Just my .02

 

[Evbo]

What gives these people the right? I am a great Father. I'd never neglect my children in anyway, but there are a times when a spanking is in order.

Hear, hear. +1.

 

[mretzloff]

At the same time another woman, 40ish ran across the floor and got in my face and said, "Don't beat your kid."

Are you serious? Wow...I really wonder about some people.

 

[strat1117]

It's all Dr. Spock's fault, brought to a head by the "Barney" mentality. As soon as we started elevating self-esteem, whether deserved or not, above personal accomplishment, we created this monster. Sure, if a kid does something great he should be praised and rewarded for it, but if he does something stupid, or dangerous, he needs to be disciplined, not praised. That's how you learn to gain self-esteem; by doing the right thing, not just because your parents tell you how perfect you are all the time.

As Principal Skinner (The Simpsons) stated in describing the new "enlightened" policy at Springfield Elementary: "Nobody's better than anybody else, and everybody's great at everything."

Boy, are we in trouble.

 

[thirdeye]

Duct tape is the 8th wonder of the world.......

 

[Alaskan Eagle]

As a teacher I see the changing behaviors of kids. I am constantly wondering what the deal with some of these kids is...on parent teacher day I find out. Most of the time the wacko kids come from wacko parents. The only problem is that the worst behaving kids/families are the ones having the most amount of kids. We are in a world of trouble.

 

[mretzloff]

As a teacher I see the changing behaviors of kids. I am constantly wondering what the deal with some of these kids is...on parent teacher day I find out. Most of the time the wacko kids come from wacko parents. The only problem is that the worst behaving kids/families are the ones having the most amount of kids. We are in a world of trouble.

I commend you (not to sound arrogant) that you're able to put up with them. I really feel for public HS teachers. At least in my area, they go through hell every day.

 

[Alaskan Eagle]

My thanks. Some days...(long sigh)

 

[RexHavoc]

it takes a woman to raise a boy. Problem is they should be raising men.

 

[Mojo88]

Actually chronological age has nothing to due with maturity or manners. We have been at restaurants where the parents were as annoying as the children that were with them. Case in point, tonight my wife and I walked to a local restaurant and were treated to a full evening of a fellow patron describing her hysterectomy in great detail. This was an attention getter and you could tell by her demeanor that if anyone had asked her to quiet down she would have thrown a full blown hissy fit. I was annoyed at first and then amused that she needed the attention so badly ,that all personal aspects were discussed. I felt sorry for the women in the party that were held captive.

 

[SRock]

As Principal Skinner (The Simpson's) stated in describing the new "enlightened" policy at Springfield Elementary: "Nobody's better than anybody else, and everybody's great at everything."

Boy, are we in trouble.

This seems to happen everywhere now. Hell most schools now require that any kid who wants to play gets to play (at least until High School where I'm from). I mean seriously, if your 13 year old son is 4'6" tall and out weighs most professional wrestlers what does he or anyone else learn from embarassing the soccer team?

Duct tape is the 8th wonder of the world.......

As a teacher I see the changing behaviors of kids. I am constantly wondering what the deal with some of these kids is...on parent teacher day I find out. Most of the time the wacko kids come from wacko parents. The only problem is that the worst behaving kids/families are the ones having the most amount of kids. We are in a world of trouble.

I tip my hat to you! This is my chosen profession for after I retire from military service. It's the teacher who should get the multi-million dollar contracts not the Pro Athlete, actor or singer.

Actually chronological age has nothing to due with maturity or manners. We have been at restaurants where the parents were as annoying as the children that were with them. Case in point, tonight my wife and I walked to a local restaurant and were treated to a full evening of a fellow patron describing her hysterectomy in great detail. This was an attention getter and you could tell by her demeanor that if anyone had asked her to quiet down she would have thrown a full blown hissy fit. I was annoyed at first and then amused that she needed the attention so badly ,that all personal aspects were discussed. I felt sorry for the women in the party that were held captive.

As they say, children learn what they live. This woman (if she had kids prior to her hysterectomy) will likely raise lousy kids.

 

[adonnellyr]

+1 to Slagglerock. Everything was great up until where you swore at the kid. Had you just maintained your calm while telling the kid he was wrong, I think you'd have scored more points. Who knows...maybe you'd be hanging out in a comfortable setting, with your (I assume) nicely shaven face nuzzling up against the mother right about now...

 

[homebrewer]

As everyone else said, it is a lack of parenting in this country that has us in the shape we're in.... and sadly those parents and most of society has generally lost respect for others, common courtesy, and simple good manners. For some reason these people never learned those essential traits of how to live properly in a society, and they pass an even worse behavior pattern on to their own children, and the whole thing snowballs.

I've got to stop typing this thread before I go off on an entire dissertation of the current problems with children and society.... I'd just like to take this chance to commend all of my fellow gentlemen here on B&B. At least manners, respect, and general actions befitting our society are still present in some places.

 

[Obsessed]

The only problem is that the worst behaving kids/families are the ones having the most amount of kids. We are in a world of trouble.

Sounds like the beginning of Idiocracy. . .

 

[FlatFork]

As the saying goes, Spare the rod spoil the child. You can ask my kids all about it.

 

[Shane]

I work with kids as I, too, am a teacher.

I have found that the most transcendent aspect in great kids, and also the most common thread among them, are strong adult learning models. Sometimes they're parents, sometimes it's whoever is raising them (other relatives). I've taught kids from rich, affluent areas that didn't have an iota of respect for anything and I've taught poor kids from poor families that worshiped the ground I walked on. Good parenting and child rearing involves, well...involvement. Kids that don't have parents that read to them, take them places, teach them right from wrong and good from bad, they're pretty much dead before they have a chance to fight. It then becomes the responsibility of the teacher to instill those values and trust me, it's like building a sandcastle during high tide, you build it up and they to home to their broken families and it gets washed away. It's a real struggle.

 

[Sluggo]

OK, I have a great story...well at least I think it is great.

One of my professors in graduate school was a semi-professional marathon runner and he would run a little over 100 miles per week. So he would run all over Birmingham for variety, which would on occasion take him into the snooty parts.

One day he ran past a golf course and some 12 year old boys were playing golf un-supervised. One of them yelled "Nice Shorts F_G (fill in the missing letter)" Without missing a beat, he took off running for them, and they of course took off running away from him.

As expected, most 12 year olds cant out run a marathoner so he caught up with them and threw their clubs on the ground. Just then, mom came out of the clubhouse and he gave her an earful too.

I just get this mental image of two slightly out of shape kids trying to out run a marathon runner while trying to carry their clubs...awesome.