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Bad wife advice

Post the worst advice you have given your wife, you know exactly what I mean fellas. I'll go first...

"Just get the smaller size to motivate yourself to lose the weight"
:a13:
 
I'm still alive, so maybe it was just a nightmare.....

The War Department: "You never listen to me."

Yours truly: "But you never shut up."

I swear, I saw the words coming out of my mouth like in a comic strip, and I was trying to reel them in like in a cartoon as they left my mouth.

Not exactly advice I was giving as much as it was a statement of fact.... But she and I are still able to chuckle over this one. Though I sleep every night with one eye open....
 
I'm still alive, so maybe it was just a nightmare.....

The War Department: "You never listen to me."

Yours truly: "But you never shut up."

I swear, I saw the words coming out of my mouth like in a comic strip, and I was trying to reel them in like in a cartoon as they left my mouth.

Not exactly advice I was giving as much as it was a statement of fact.... But she and I are still able to chuckle over this one. Though I sleep every night with one eye open....
This post truly made me laugh out loud.
 
I'm still alive, so maybe it was just a nightmare.....

The War Department: "You never listen to me."

Yours truly: "But you never shut up."

I swear, I saw the words coming out of my mouth like in a comic strip, and I was trying to reel them in like in a cartoon as they left my mouth.

Not exactly advice I was giving as much as it was a statement of fact.... But she and I are still able to chuckle over this one. Though I sleep every night with one eye open....
Hilarious!
war department!
 
When I'd slipped a lower disc and was unable to do any physical activity.

"Look, its only a lawn, thats grass, if you get it wrong it'll grown back.....I mean its only a mower and you'd have to be real dumb not to be able to use it. Just squeeze the trigger and off you go, start on the outside edge and work you way in...ok?"

20mins later after struggling to read in the WC.

"I know I said its its only grass and you couldn't get it wrong but how did you manage to smash into the green house...........its 20 feet away?"


Never again.
 
When I'd slipped a lower disc and was unable to do any physical activity.

"Look, its only a lawn, thats grass, if you get it wrong it'll grown back.....I mean its only a mower and you'd have to be real dumb not to be able to use it. Just squeeze the trigger and off you go, start on the outside edge and work you way in...ok?"

20mins later after struggling to read in the WC.

"I know I said its its only grass and you couldn't get it wrong but how did you manage to smash into the green house...........its 20 feet away?"


Never again.
The things we (TRY) to do for love!
 
Hilarious!
war department!
That's my pet name for her.

She just calls me idiot.

When we were dating, I called her by my last girl friend's name. Twice. In maybe 5 minutes time.

Now I just call her Hun. But I always refer to her as the War Department to others. That way I can always blame her if I want to get out of awkward social engagements; everyone is afraid of her!
 

KeenDogg

Contributor
Ambassador
My best advice: Never give your wife advice.


I did tell her the other day "I wish my stuff in the basement was separate from yours, so I could actually find it.".

I also told her one time that she wasnt good at going to the store, and that's fine. She would go for groceries and forget to bring back key ingredients like bacon for BLTs. THAT did not go over well. I apologized, of course.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
 
My best advice: Never give your wife advice.


I did tell her the other day "I wish my stuff in the basement was separate from yours, so I could actually find it.".

I also told her one time that she wasnt good at going to the store, and that's fine. She would go for groceries and forget to bring back key ingredients like bacon for BLTs. THAT did not go over well. I apologized, of course.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
Never underestimate the ability of an otherwise intelligent male to be incredibly stupid on occasion.
 

bberg100

Moderator
When I came home from work, the wife was standing in the kitchen with her broom. I asked if she had just got in or was heading out.
 
My "war department" ( im borrowing @FarmerTan s term) has a new nite time dental mouth guard. One side effect is it inhibits talking.
Ive sent a thank you note to the dentist.
Brother, there will be others on here that will feign indignation over your post, "I'm tired of you he-man women haters club members" yada yada yada. But I truly love my wife. And I truly love to tease her. And if she kills me in my sleep everyone that knows us both will know I deserved it.... But let me say this: I can relate! Lol.
 
Brother, there will be others on here that will feign indignation over your post, "I'm tired of you he-man women haters club members" yada yada yada. But I truly love my wife. And I truly love to tease her. And if she kills me in my sleep everyone that knows us both will know I deserved it.... But let me say this: I can relate! Lol.
i dont think this is woman haters. Not the spirit of my post either. I should have added my response. Who talks at night.lol
 
i dont think this is woman haters. Not the spirit of my post either. I should have added my response. Who talks at night.lol
No, I didn't mean to suggest you were. I've been accused of it by folks here who don't share my sense of humor. Or lack thereof. I seem to be politically incorrect a whole bunch lately!
 
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