I've been away from B&B for about a year, as I've been focusing my efforts on moving back to Jacksonville, putting together a business, and other interests. I have continued to read different threads @ B&B, but just didn't post because I was busy with other things.
Unfortunately, I am back with the somber news that my wonderful Mother passed away about a month ago. She was 71 years old, my Dad, who is 73 was there with her when she passed. I was not able to get to Kentucky in time, but it likely was better, as she was hooked up to roughly 10 IV's and as Dad said, she was likely gone long before I could have made it there. My Mom and Dad are/were in great health, but Mom had recently suffered a compression fracture in her lower back, trying to lift something that was too heavy. My Mom has always been a tiny woman, maybe 5' tall and perhaps all of 100 lbs. So, I wish she hadn't attempted to lift something too heavy, but she did. When she sustained the fracture, she went into surgery the next day and had Vertebroplasty, where they repair the injury and use a bone cement to repair the fracture. Mom made it through the surgery successfully and was home recovering over the next 2 weeks. During that 2 week span, she was incurring some pain and some abdominal pain, but nothing seemed to be unusual post-surgery.
On Friday, April 29 my Mom had gone upstairs and after a few minutes my Dad went looking for her and found her on the ground,but still conscious. My Dad called an ambulance and they arrived and Mom seemed to be doing OK still, but on the way to the hospital, she Coded, but was revived. She did not regain consciousness again once arriving at the hospital. They continued to work on Mom and giving her many, many different medications and IV's. The nurse in the ICU told my Dad that he would not leave Mom's side throughout the night. He also continued to give Dad updates on Mom and about the meds they were giving her. My Dad said she was hooked up to all kinds of machines. It was at 3:00am on April 30 when Mom flatlined while Dad was in the room. He was asked to leave when over a dozen people came running into the room. They worked on Mom for several minutes and were not successful in getting her back. Her tiny body couldn't sustain any more. Mom passed away at 3:10am on April 30, 2016.
I've spent the past month staying with my Dad. He has taken it especially tough, as they both were healthy and had many, many plans to fulfill during my Dad's retirement. My Dad was a CEO/President of one of the hospitals where they lived, he had served this position at 2 previous hospitals during his 45 year career. They had just purchased a Snow-bird home in Naples, Florida and they furnished it and had been working on it up through mid-April. They had just returned to Kentucky when Mom sustained the fracture. So, Dad ran the hospital while Mom ran the household, pretty much their entire 49-year marriage. I helped Dad set up several services to help with house cleaning and laundry. I also found that there is a lot of "matters" to take care of when someone passes away. Mom was quite the shopper and since Dad is very much not tech savvy, I was tasked with closing her emails, online accounts, credit accounts, etc. When doing so, you find yourself re-telling the story of her passing on many occasions. I also had to help Dad with all of the funeral arrangements, from purchasing the casket, the cemetery lots, and finally getting the Memorial purchased and the wording finalized. It was tough, but when the time does come for my Dad, there are much less details to handle, but I sure hope that time is a long time away.
My Mom was a person of faith and put a lot of effort into her faith. I have no doubt she is having the time of her life in Heaven with her Dad, her Sister, and many others that passed before her. Her own Mother, my sweet Granny is remarkably still alive, as we plan her 100-year birthday party for August. She even made the trip to the funeral service, even though she had decided months ago she'd not travel anymore.
As for me, I have to take away what positive elements I can from this. First, I am glad that she did not survive her fight if she could not live the life and lifestyle she wanted to have. Given my parents recent plans, I can't imagine she would enjoy things if her health was very poor and deteriorating. Second, I watched my Dad's parents as they got older and his Father took care of his Mother, as my Grandmother's health was very poor for many years. It really did a number on my Grandfather and I think contributed to his own health becoming poor and also their quality of life. Lastly, if my Dad and the rest of my family had to visit Mom at a hospital from a hospital bed for days/weeks/months to come, I don't think my Dad or my Mom would have wanted that either. Now, I certainly wish I had even 5 minutes with Mom, but she had made the comment many times she didn't want that type of lifestyle and didn't want that for my Dad or our family. So, with that said, I think things happened as she may have wanted if she could not come back from her medical situation.
Additionally, I have spent all of this time with my Dad and even though I have always been very, very close with my parents and have had a great relationship, my Dad and I have a much stronger bond and most certainly became even closer through this ordeal. I've just recently gotten back home and I talk to Dad everyday and plan to keep a close eye on him and his progress. He's doing well and seems to be doing better each day. As for me, I am at peace with Mom's passing and visited her gravesite several times while in Kentucky and will do so any opportunity I can. Even though I know/think she can hear me any time I talk to her, I definitely feel closer to her when at her gravesite and actually feel a sense of ease and peace when visiting her there.
My relationship with Dad will continue to be great and he already had an interest in my business pursuits, but now has even more interest. He is not directly involved, but I value his advice and opinions on business and am glad to have his interest and enjoy discussing things as they move forward.
I think of Mom everyday and most certainly hope that doesn't change. I have thought about her and told stories and laughed and cried about her on many occasions. She was loved by many and leaves a big hole in our family and in her circle of friends. We will continue to tell stories about her terrible directions and driving, about her shopping and scrapbooking obsession, and her love for her family and faith. I know my Dad and the rest of us will see her again and look forward to that day. Mom was great at a lot of things, but she was especially good at being Mom. Can't wait to see her again....
Thanks to B&B for being a place that has been special to me and I've learned so much and can be comfortable in telling my story.
-Dantheman
Unfortunately, I am back with the somber news that my wonderful Mother passed away about a month ago. She was 71 years old, my Dad, who is 73 was there with her when she passed. I was not able to get to Kentucky in time, but it likely was better, as she was hooked up to roughly 10 IV's and as Dad said, she was likely gone long before I could have made it there. My Mom and Dad are/were in great health, but Mom had recently suffered a compression fracture in her lower back, trying to lift something that was too heavy. My Mom has always been a tiny woman, maybe 5' tall and perhaps all of 100 lbs. So, I wish she hadn't attempted to lift something too heavy, but she did. When she sustained the fracture, she went into surgery the next day and had Vertebroplasty, where they repair the injury and use a bone cement to repair the fracture. Mom made it through the surgery successfully and was home recovering over the next 2 weeks. During that 2 week span, she was incurring some pain and some abdominal pain, but nothing seemed to be unusual post-surgery.
On Friday, April 29 my Mom had gone upstairs and after a few minutes my Dad went looking for her and found her on the ground,but still conscious. My Dad called an ambulance and they arrived and Mom seemed to be doing OK still, but on the way to the hospital, she Coded, but was revived. She did not regain consciousness again once arriving at the hospital. They continued to work on Mom and giving her many, many different medications and IV's. The nurse in the ICU told my Dad that he would not leave Mom's side throughout the night. He also continued to give Dad updates on Mom and about the meds they were giving her. My Dad said she was hooked up to all kinds of machines. It was at 3:00am on April 30 when Mom flatlined while Dad was in the room. He was asked to leave when over a dozen people came running into the room. They worked on Mom for several minutes and were not successful in getting her back. Her tiny body couldn't sustain any more. Mom passed away at 3:10am on April 30, 2016.
I've spent the past month staying with my Dad. He has taken it especially tough, as they both were healthy and had many, many plans to fulfill during my Dad's retirement. My Dad was a CEO/President of one of the hospitals where they lived, he had served this position at 2 previous hospitals during his 45 year career. They had just purchased a Snow-bird home in Naples, Florida and they furnished it and had been working on it up through mid-April. They had just returned to Kentucky when Mom sustained the fracture. So, Dad ran the hospital while Mom ran the household, pretty much their entire 49-year marriage. I helped Dad set up several services to help with house cleaning and laundry. I also found that there is a lot of "matters" to take care of when someone passes away. Mom was quite the shopper and since Dad is very much not tech savvy, I was tasked with closing her emails, online accounts, credit accounts, etc. When doing so, you find yourself re-telling the story of her passing on many occasions. I also had to help Dad with all of the funeral arrangements, from purchasing the casket, the cemetery lots, and finally getting the Memorial purchased and the wording finalized. It was tough, but when the time does come for my Dad, there are much less details to handle, but I sure hope that time is a long time away.
My Mom was a person of faith and put a lot of effort into her faith. I have no doubt she is having the time of her life in Heaven with her Dad, her Sister, and many others that passed before her. Her own Mother, my sweet Granny is remarkably still alive, as we plan her 100-year birthday party for August. She even made the trip to the funeral service, even though she had decided months ago she'd not travel anymore.
As for me, I have to take away what positive elements I can from this. First, I am glad that she did not survive her fight if she could not live the life and lifestyle she wanted to have. Given my parents recent plans, I can't imagine she would enjoy things if her health was very poor and deteriorating. Second, I watched my Dad's parents as they got older and his Father took care of his Mother, as my Grandmother's health was very poor for many years. It really did a number on my Grandfather and I think contributed to his own health becoming poor and also their quality of life. Lastly, if my Dad and the rest of my family had to visit Mom at a hospital from a hospital bed for days/weeks/months to come, I don't think my Dad or my Mom would have wanted that either. Now, I certainly wish I had even 5 minutes with Mom, but she had made the comment many times she didn't want that type of lifestyle and didn't want that for my Dad or our family. So, with that said, I think things happened as she may have wanted if she could not come back from her medical situation.
Additionally, I have spent all of this time with my Dad and even though I have always been very, very close with my parents and have had a great relationship, my Dad and I have a much stronger bond and most certainly became even closer through this ordeal. I've just recently gotten back home and I talk to Dad everyday and plan to keep a close eye on him and his progress. He's doing well and seems to be doing better each day. As for me, I am at peace with Mom's passing and visited her gravesite several times while in Kentucky and will do so any opportunity I can. Even though I know/think she can hear me any time I talk to her, I definitely feel closer to her when at her gravesite and actually feel a sense of ease and peace when visiting her there.
My relationship with Dad will continue to be great and he already had an interest in my business pursuits, but now has even more interest. He is not directly involved, but I value his advice and opinions on business and am glad to have his interest and enjoy discussing things as they move forward.
I think of Mom everyday and most certainly hope that doesn't change. I have thought about her and told stories and laughed and cried about her on many occasions. She was loved by many and leaves a big hole in our family and in her circle of friends. We will continue to tell stories about her terrible directions and driving, about her shopping and scrapbooking obsession, and her love for her family and faith. I know my Dad and the rest of us will see her again and look forward to that day. Mom was great at a lot of things, but she was especially good at being Mom. Can't wait to see her again....
Thanks to B&B for being a place that has been special to me and I've learned so much and can be comfortable in telling my story.
-Dantheman
