'Twas the night before Christmas, and in my shave den
…a new razor had arrived (yeah...again!)
In my mailbox 'twas a coupon
an offer from Schick!
FREE HYDRO disposable?!?!
I couldn't resist!
I just HAD to try it...went right out get it.
(Little did I know that I'd soon regret it)
The space age design was epic and strong!
That blue plastic handle, so sleek...and so loooong!
And the five-bladed cartridge was a real sight to see
It was filled with Aloe + vitamin E!
I ran the hot water, prepped my skin, and made lather
Then onto my face The FAT I did slather
I lifted up the Hydro, with some trepidation
With so many blades - I feared mutilation!
But the first stroke felt magical - like razor floatation!
I surely was shaving, but could feel no sensation!
Just a trail of gooey Aloe marking the place
Where this 5-bladed wizard worked wonders on my face
I shaved east to west. I shaved south to north
Side to side. Diagonal. Then back and forth!
I was thrilled and delighted. I was truly amazed
My dislike of cartridges, I thought, must be reappraised!
And then in an instant, for the worse things did turn….
My skin started tingling, then started to BURN!
To my neck and my cheeks and my chin it did spread
That wicked heat kept creeping, ‘til my face was all red!
I ran the cold water to put out the flame
I splashed and I splashed, but it just wouldn’t be tamed
Hoping to be freed from this fierce shaving hell
I reached for my Nivea Sensitive Gel
I poured out a bunch, spread that Gel all around
But this five-alarm, five-cartridge fire wouldn't go down.
I spent Christmas Eve with severe razor rash
And that 5-bladed monster? It went in the trash.
If you find yourself tempted by this Hydro's siren song
Please use with caution. It can all go so wrong!
…a new razor had arrived (yeah...again!)
In my mailbox 'twas a coupon
an offer from Schick!
FREE HYDRO disposable?!?!
I couldn't resist!
I just HAD to try it...went right out get it.
(Little did I know that I'd soon regret it)
The space age design was epic and strong!
That blue plastic handle, so sleek...and so loooong!
And the five-bladed cartridge was a real sight to see
It was filled with Aloe + vitamin E!
I ran the hot water, prepped my skin, and made lather
Then onto my face The FAT I did slather
I lifted up the Hydro, with some trepidation
With so many blades - I feared mutilation!
But the first stroke felt magical - like razor floatation!
I surely was shaving, but could feel no sensation!
Just a trail of gooey Aloe marking the place
Where this 5-bladed wizard worked wonders on my face
I shaved east to west. I shaved south to north
Side to side. Diagonal. Then back and forth!
I was thrilled and delighted. I was truly amazed
My dislike of cartridges, I thought, must be reappraised!
And then in an instant, for the worse things did turn….
My skin started tingling, then started to BURN!
To my neck and my cheeks and my chin it did spread
That wicked heat kept creeping, ‘til my face was all red!
I ran the cold water to put out the flame
I splashed and I splashed, but it just wouldn’t be tamed
Hoping to be freed from this fierce shaving hell
I reached for my Nivea Sensitive Gel
I poured out a bunch, spread that Gel all around
But this five-alarm, five-cartridge fire wouldn't go down.
I spent Christmas Eve with severe razor rash
And that 5-bladed monster? It went in the trash.
If you find yourself tempted by this Hydro's siren song
Please use with caution. It can all go so wrong!
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