A sticky Situation. Help please.Long)

[Badmedicine]

Hello Gents. First off, let me start off by saying my experiences here have been easily the most positive communications I have ever had online. Everyone I have met here has been tremendously respectful, helpful, and oftentimes funny. This site really helped to cheer me up after I got fired a month ago (for the first time in my life), and as such, I come before you with a rather delicate question. This is related to shaving, tangentially, but if any mods feel this needs to be moved to the Barbershop, please do so. Anyways, the situation is thus:
I am engaged to a wonderfully sweet and patient girl. She has taken my various AD's with good humor (and a little good-natured ribbing). I've finally managed to reign them in a little (I actually passed by an antique store without going in and scouring it for razors), but now I find myself with a lot of stuff I have no need for. A lot of it, I purchased myself, and have been quietly PIFing away to newbies (walk in shadow while bringing light to others, that's my mantra). Now, I come down to things I have been given, and the situation gets more complicated.
I recently PIFed a DE razor she got me for Christmas (a OneTouch Micro, the one's endorsed by Rick from Pawn Stars), along with a bottle of Pinaud Clubman she gave me with it. I gave both a fair shot (well, not the Clubman. I've used it before then and had a rather bad reaction). The razor, while well-made, was just too mild for me. However, it might be perfect to a newbie, especially one unsure of taking the initial financial plunge into wet shaving. To that end, I sent it to a new member who- it tickles me pink to know- is quite enamored with it. I'm so glad I could introduce someone into wet shaving- and B&B- with such a positive experience.
However, she was recently in my home and noticed that it was no longer in the bathroom. She asked me about that, and I explained that while it did not work for me, I gave it to someone who would get some good use out of it. She was very hurt. Now, despite being very patient and kind, Melanie is also very sensitive- even more so than I knew. I managed to resolve that situation, but I find myself with another...
She's very fond of getting me cologne for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, Fridays, what have you. A sweet gesture- I fully believe it's the thought that counts- but I can't stand a single one of them. I think she buys them because the name or the packaging look like they would appeal to me. Again, a sweet thought, but I rarely wear cologne as it is (my job doesn't allow it, and I work 6 days a week).
I only have 3 colognes that I like: Old Spice Foxcrest (bought myself), Antonio Banderas- Blue Seduction (a gift from a high school girlfriend. Demonstrates how little cologne I go through), and Ed Hardy- Death Or Glory (Found while helping Melanie clean out a vanished roommate's belongings). These three bottles alone are enough to last me for years, as much as I go through, and Mel and I both like the scents.
Then, there are the scents Melanie has bought me... Playboy London, BBW's Drakkar Noir clone, Aqua di Gio, Gucci Guilty Pour Homme, Polo Red, Polo Green, Polo Black, and more that slip my mind at the moment. I don't even know where she finds the money to buy this- neither of us are wealthy, and I would rather she put the money into caring for her own health (she has a chronic medical condition). I would like to make these disappear, as they are cluttering up my bedroom. I've considered PIFing them, putting them on the BST, I even gave the Polos to my little brother. She notices when the bottles go missing, and she seems hurt when I don't wear them when we go out. We love swing dancing, and go to a local club every Friday night. The last time we went, however, I wore the Playboy scent, and my perspiration amplified it to the point it made me ill. I apply them sparely, but I guess my sense of smell doesn't like something about them.
In summation, my B&B brothers (and any sisters who may perchance be out there), can you give me some advice on resolving this problem? I don't want to hurt her feelings (I'm the king of bleeding hearts), but I'm being buried under things I don't want or need. Help me, please!

 

[August West]

No help but maybe this will cheer you up.

John Prine - Dear Abby (Old Grey Whistle 1973)

 

[Badmedicine]

No help but maybe this will cheer you up.

John Prine - Dear Abby (Old Grey Whistle 1973)

Thanks Tony. I got a chuckle out of that. Some of those verses sound exactly like me.

 

[Toothpick]

Sounds more like a communication problem to me.

Communicate to her the colognes you like and don't like. Politely explain why you like them and don't like them.
I think if you would have explained to her your displeasure with the razor and AS and your intentions of giving them away to someone here before actually doing it, then it probably wouldn't have hurt so bad.

I would hope she would appreciate the info on what colognes and razors and AS to buy you rather than spending all that money and you just hating them.

If she has the knowledge then she can't go wrong. And it's up to both of you to communicate these things to each other.

 

[Badmedicine]

Sounds more like a communication problem to me.

Communicate to her the colognes you like and don't like. Politely explain why you like them and don't like them.
I think if you would have explained to her your displeasure with the razor and AS and your intentions of giving them away to someone here before actually doing it, then it probably wouldn't have hurt so bad.

I would hope she would appreciate the info on what colognes and razors and AS to buy you rather than spending all that money and you just hating them.

If she has the knowledge then she can't go wrong. And it's up to both of you to communicate these things to each other.

Thank you Jason. I feel like such a doofus now. I will try, but her and I have had a similar discussion before. She wants me to get away from the "Old Man" scents I'm fond of (AV, English Leather, Musgo Real). I won't even go into what she really thinks about my wet shaving hobby (she was drunk when she told me; she's normally too timid to say anything like that). She says they smell fine, but she thinks it isn't right for a 23 year-old to smell like my 58 year-old father. I will try again. After all, if at first you don't succeed...

 

[Toothpick]

Thank you Jason. I feel like such a doofus now. I will try, but her and I have had a similar discussion before. She wants me to get away from the "Old Man" scents I'm fond of (AV, English Leather, Musgo Real). I won't even go into what she really thinks about my wet shaving hobby (she was drunk when she told me; she's normally too timid to say anything like that). She says they smell fine, but she thinks it isn't right for a 23 year-old to smell like my 58 year-old father. I will try again. After all, if at first you don't succeed...

If it's just a matter of trying to find scents you like why don't you both go shopping together? Smell some colognes together and find one or a few you both can agree on.
Nothing good is going to come from her continually buying things you don't like.
Relationships are about compromise too. If she lets you wear your favorite scent on one date night, then you wear her favorite scent on the 2nd date night.

 

[Kooze]

Apologize and admit you were wrong (I'm not saying you are). Although your intent, logic and reason are strong- you gave away a gift(s) your fiancé thoughtfully purchased for you, and as you said, she is sensitive.

As for the colognes she has purchased for you- Maybe she just likes the way they smell on you, and thinks they are more "going out" appropriate. Scent is very personal, and as long as its wasn't too common or awful, I'd suck it up and wear what she likes. Spray on just 1 spray before you go to bed every night. Like shaving soap- it will eventually be gone, but it may take a looooong time.

Perhaps you two can go to sephora together and try some samples and pick out things that you both like. As you rarely rare fragrance due to work restrictions, and therefore have plenty for years, request that she not purchase more cologne until at least you have finished one or two bottles. Explain that you feel bad and guilty due to your limited funds and her health issues that she is buying you these things, and prefer that she spend it on herself/ spoil herself (if that doesn't work- tell her you want a weber

Quite frankly- you have a keeper. In any relationship, communication is key. Discussing it will only bring you closer and provide more insight into each other.

from where I'm sitting, you are lucky to have found each other.

 

[Badmedicine]

If it's just a matter of trying to find scents you like why don't you both go shopping together? Smell some colognes together and find one or a few you both can agree on.
Nothing good is going to come from her continually buying things you don't like.
Relationships are about compromise too. If she lets you wear your favorite scent on one date night, then you wear her favorite scent on the 2nd date night.

Thank you so much! I'm actually talking to her right now (well, texting. I'm more than a bit old-fashioned, but it's the easiest way for us to communicate). I get the feeling this might be a little awkward at first, but we've been through much worse. A little stink should be no problem.

 

[Badmedicine]

Apologize and admit you were wrong (I'm not saying you are). Although your intent, logic and reason are strong- you gave away a gift(s) your fiancé thoughtfully purchased for you, and as you said, she is sensitive.

As for the colognes she has purchased for you- Maybe she just likes the way they smell on you, and thinks they are more "going out" appropriate. Scent is very personal, and as long as its wasn't too common or awful, I'd suck it up and wear what she likes. Spray on just 1 spray before you go to bed every night. Like shaving soap- it will eventually be gone, but it may take a looooong time.

Perhaps you two can go to sephora together and try some samples and pick out things that you both like. As you rarely rare fragrance due to work restrictions, and therefore have plenty for years, request that she not purchase more cologne until at least you have finished one or two bottles. Explain that you feel bad and guilty due to your limited funds and her health issues that she is buying you these things, and prefer that she spend it on herself/ spoil herself (if that doesn't work- tell her you want a weber

Quite frankly- you have a keeper. In any relationship, communication is key. Discussing it will only bring you closer and provide more insight into each other.

from where I'm sitting, you are lucky to have found each other.

Thank you. I'll try, but I'm a terrible liar. And yes... She most definitely is a keeper. But what if I want a Fili...

 

[Toothpick]

Perhaps you two can go to sephora together and try some samples and pick out things that you both like. As you rarely rare fragrance due to work restrictions, and therefore have plenty for years, request that she not purchase more cologne until at least you have finished one or two bottles. Explain that you feel bad and guilty due to your limited funds and her health issues that she is buying you these things, and prefer that she spend it on herself/ spoil herself (if that doesn't work- tell her you want a weber

Here is a good tip about Sephora that many folks don't know......they will give you a sample of any cologne/perfume you want! Several different kinds even. And the samples are enough for several uses. This way you are not committing to buy something that after a few uses you might not like.

So get a few samples, wear em for week, if you like em go back and buy, if not then you didn't just waste a butt load of money.

Thank you so much! I'm actually talking to her right now (well, texting. I'm more than a bit old-fashioned, but it's the easiest way for us to communicate). I get the feeling this might be a little awkward at first, but we've been through much worse. A little stink should be no problem.

I'd much rather communicate via text than over the phone. Communicating this in person would be a good idea too. Sometimes folks are distracted with other things while texting so a conversation might not sink in.

 

[Badmedicine]

Here is a good tip about Sephora that many folks don't know......they will give you a sample of any cologne/perfume you want! Several different kinds even. And the samples are enough for several uses. This way you are not committing to buy something that after a few uses you might not like.

So get a few samples, wear em for week, if you like em go back and buy, if not then you didn't just waste a butt load of money.




I'd much rather communicate via text than over the phone. Communicating this in person would be a good idea too. Sometimes folks are distracted with other things while texting so a conversation might not sink in.

Awesome! And, it just so happens, there is a Sephora at the JC Pennies where I am having her engagement ring repaired! We can check it out when we go to pick it up! This is why I love this place.

 

[FastM3]

The next time you go out for the evening let her pick out the scent she want you to wear. Suck it up and smile, its the least you can do since she is a keeper. That little gesture may make it easier for her to put up with your shaving addiction.

 

[Toothpick]

Awesome! And, it just so happens, there is a Sephora at the JC Pennies where I am having her engagement ring repaired! We can check it out when we go to pick it up! This is why I love this place.

I used to work for JCPenney and one day the ladies of Sephora put a big basket full of samples in the break room for us to take what we wanted. I walked away with about 9 different samples. But the note on the basket and idea was to let us know and spread the word that they will give samples away. They did the same thing with perfume too.

this is what I got left



And the sample they give you is a decent size, with a spritzer. It was full, I've used it several times already.

 

[jacobwilson99]

Do everything thye said above ^^

And then everyday pour a little cologne down the sink until you "used it all up!"

I also use samples from Sephora. I wear Bleu de Chanel and YSL L'homme. My mother in law works there and brings them over frequently. They're a great way to try new stuff out without the cost.

Communication is key though.

 

[FastM3]

How about getting your girlfriend her own DE razor? You may be able to get her to share you passion. There is a nice Pink Lady for sale in the B&B Shaving Mall.

 

[Badmedicine]

How about getting your girlfriend her own DE razor? You may be able to get her to share you passion. There is a nice Pink Lady for sale in the B&B Shaving Mall.

Heh. It's funny that you mention that. She let me shave her legs with a straight a few weeks ago, and now I've gotten her off and running. She even commandeered one of my shavettes. As for my OP, I've come up with a two-fold solution- Melanie and I are going cologne shopping the next time she gets the urge, and I will use the remainder (those not worth selling) to freshen up my car.

 

[RedBird]

. John Prine is one of my favorites. I ran into one time at Tower Records in Nashville and had a nice conversation with him. Steve Goodman was great also and recorded with Prine some, but unfortunately leukemia took Steve at a very early age.

 

[JBLA]

My advice, given that you both have strong feelings about scents, and are on a bit of a budget, is that you go and check out some various essential oil retailer websites, and some sites like The Perfumer's Apprentice, and do a little homework, and start producing scents that BOTH of you can agree on.

That way you're not spending very much money (at first, at least as long as you don't get sucked down the rabbit hole), and if you come up with something great, you've got a product you can sell and a relatively easy home based business to go forward with.

Good luck!

 

[life2short1971]

You need to accurately communicate your dislikes with her and never ever give away a gift from her for at least a couple of years after she has hopefully forgotten about it but to err on the side of caution just keep it. The better you communicate,the less crap you'll be stuck with.
and in a long shot if you have children with her you can always give it to them. That she would most likely find acceptable.

 

[oldtrout]

If the woman I love gave me a cologne that she liked (the cologne itself, not the packaging), I would gladly wear it no matter how repulsive it smelled to me.