Hobbes, your review is cracking me up right now. I have nothing profound or even intelligent to add to this review. Just thought your review was quite entertaining!
We can forgive you a slight lack of moisturising ability in comparison to newer creams, for you are not negligent in that regard.
Perhaps your greatest flaw is that you do not last forever, you cheeky little minx. Throughout the day, you continue to tease my senses with your opening of citrus overlying a warm, sensual bed of muskier darkness. You caused my wife to stop in her tracks and sniff me. How all other scents will be compared to you!