There was a time when that interrupting cow was my kids favorite joke. But they'd change it up. I've heard interrupting horse, dog, cat, as well as several of their favorite stuffed animals by name. At least the door is closed, so interrupting monkey's can't just throw their $hi+ at you.
Jokes that make you groan
- Thread starter Captain Pre-Capsize
- Start date
Off of Utube:
What did one snowman say to the another?
It smells like carrots.
What did one snowman say to the another?
It smells like carrots.
I used to have many unemployment jokes ---------------but none of them worked!
Reminds me of the one about: Retire? Hell, I'll be working right up 'til lunch time the day
they plant me...
I could get into that trend!
Don't you hate it when someone asks a question, then answers their own question? I do.
Whats the internal temperature of a Tauntaun... Luke warm.
Everyone told Sam not to sing.
But Samsung anyway.
But Samsung anyway.
I hate autocorrect. It's rumored that a famous scientist invented it. It couldn't have been Albeit Einstein.
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To check sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To check sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.
That really hurt to read BTW
Amen! My lazy I kwit half weigh thru it.
It's amazing how easy it is to read this sentence with letters mixed up (even if the explanation is not completely correct), and how hard it is to read that poem above with all the letters in the correct place, but with words we don't expect.
"It deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."
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For the most part, agreed. I suspect it may be easier for some than others. For example, I can read upside down text quite well, and I have friends who are gobsmacked that I can do that.
Sir Clive Sinclair passed away last Thursday, September 16th at the age of 81. He was a British computing pioneer and I had the honor of meeting him about 25 years ago. He was a quiet, retiring man with a twinkle in his eye, and he told the following joke. (Apologies for the length and for being non-shaving related.)
Three Privates report for sick call.
A Colonel comes by and asks the first Private, "What are you here for?"
"Hemorrhoids, Sir!"
"What is the treatment for hemorrhoids?"
"Stiff wire brush, Sir!"
"And what is your fondest wish, Private?"
"To return to the Front, Sir!"
"Quite right!"
The officer asks the second man, "What are you here for?"
"Gonorrhea, Sir!"
"What is the approved treatment for Gonorrhea?"
"Stiff wire brush, Sir!"
"And what is your fondest wish?"
"To return to the Front, Sir!"
"Very good!"
He turns to the third man and asks, "And why are you here?"
"Sore throat, Sir!"
"What is the proper treatment for a sore throat?"
"Stiff wire brush, Sir!"
"And what is your fondest wish?"
"That I get the stiff wire brush before them other two blokes do, Sir!"
Three Privates report for sick call.
A Colonel comes by and asks the first Private, "What are you here for?"
"Hemorrhoids, Sir!"
"What is the treatment for hemorrhoids?"
"Stiff wire brush, Sir!"
"And what is your fondest wish, Private?"
"To return to the Front, Sir!"
"Quite right!"
The officer asks the second man, "What are you here for?"
"Gonorrhea, Sir!"
"What is the approved treatment for Gonorrhea?"
"Stiff wire brush, Sir!"
"And what is your fondest wish?"
"To return to the Front, Sir!"
"Very good!"
He turns to the third man and asks, "And why are you here?"
"Sore throat, Sir!"
"What is the proper treatment for a sore throat?"
"Stiff wire brush, Sir!"
"And what is your fondest wish?"
"That I get the stiff wire brush before them other two blokes do, Sir!"
