I've been de shaving for a year now, and i get good clean shaves with no irritation, but they're not exactly that close, so i go for a second pass across the grain, okay that was not exactly comfortable
.then i go for that third pass, against the grain, for that final attempt at a smooth face, lets just say it hurts! i have very thick beard hair. will i never be able to do an against the grain pass without irritation? I've been even trying to use a fresh blade for every shave I've tried different blades i usually use feather, and still it feels like I'm rubbing sand paper against my face.
will i ever be able to do an ATG pass?
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Hello Sir , what razor are you using?
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I had the same problem starting out, but I love going atg now after fixing my angle, prep, and making sure to cut the length down with a pass or two. A year of practice seems like a long enough time though, have you experimented with other razor combinations much?
Try the Personna Blue, I actually prefer them to Feathers as I feel that the feathers dull too quickly...
I'll offer a counterpoint: not everybody is meant to shave against the grain. Some people's skin just can't handle it, no matter how they adjust their technique, prep, blade/razor combo, etc. Only you can know if you're a person who can handle it, or not. If you're not, I suggest you'll be happier in the long run if you accept it, rather than force your skin to adapt to a condition it really doesn't like.
If you are "getting where you want in one pass with no irritation", why are you worried about going ATG?
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its not a smooth shave, its acceptable but meh. i actually ordered a box of personna blades both the blue and the israeli ones, I'm going to try those and see. should you change your angle to be more shallow on an
ATG pass like a straight razor?
Try SuperMax Super Platinum blades with
Edwin Jagger De89bl Double Edge Safety Razor Chrome Plated
Wash face in shower with ACH Brito or MUSGO glyce soap, Proraso white pre shave with a hot towel (after getting out of shower), then use a tallow based soap mixed with a glycerine cream and glycerine drops in a scuttle. Rinse with warm then cold water. Finish with Bio Oil.
I do 3 ATG passes every day without a single nick or weeper.
I cant do ATG on the neck either (but face is ok) which is annoying. What's even more annoying is that when shaving WTG I appear to get closer using a Gillette Fusion than with my DE razor 
What is telling for me is the XTG pass that you say is uncomfortable. Maybe you have really tough hair and really sensitive skin?
For me ATG is not an option with a DE unless I want to be red and irritated and nicked up on my neck. BUT I get a really god shave with a WTG pass followed by two opposing XTG passes. I have medium tough hair and my skin is on the sensitive side but not overly so. Tell us all about your prep and shave, we might be able to diagnose other areas to improve.
Recently been teaching myself to shave with a straight and I CAN go ATG on portions of my neck with that.
For me ATG is not an option with a DE unless I want to be red and irritated and nicked up on my neck. BUT I get a really god shave with a WTG pass followed by two opposing XTG passes. I have medium tough hair and my skin is on the sensitive side but not overly so. Tell us all about your prep and shave, we might be able to diagnose other areas to improve.
Recently been teaching myself to shave with a straight and I CAN go ATG on portions of my neck with that.
I don't include an ATG pass. I don't find I need to include one. Both of my XTG passes are at a slightly upward angle. When my technique is on, this will provide an extremely close shave with no irritation. I think people obsess with ATG passes too much. There is no magic in it and you get just as close a shave without it with proper technique. I wouldn't stress too much about the blades either. It is really just a preference thing with different razors, face, etc. All of the well regarded blades discussed around here are perfectly capable of providing a close shave.
Perhaps I am not understanding your technique but I thought you said you do a three pass shave: WTG, ATG, and ATG. I would suggest you try a four pass shave with light touch ups. The first pass is WTG, the second XTG in one direction, the third XTG in the opposite direction, and then ATG. All passes should be with a light touch.
