To the best of my recollection, there may be a church pastor or two among our members. Or some who attend church or a regular basis. I need some advice on how to handle a situation.
A little background first. My church is a nondenominational, contemporary church. We have roughly 250 members with an average age in the mid-30's. We have a lot of college students also. I started going to our church in October of 2002. During that time, my first wife and I went through a divorce, I remarried, had a son, and lost a daughter. I met my 2nd wife at our church. We are both very active in the church and are currently leaders of a small family home group. My wife sang on the worship team, and prior to my divorce, I was the head usher/deacon. My first wife was not active at all in church but that is another story for another time. We seem to be well liked in our church and have developed some very good friendships.
Our church supports a couple of missionaries in Guatemala. We do community outreach programs where we hand out free water during 4th of July parades, give out free stamps on tax day, donate shoes and backpacks with supplies to a needy school in the area. As with everything else, the economy has effected the church. Staff salaries have been cut and the savings account has started to dwindle. My wife and i believe in supporting our church not only finacially, but also with our service.
Here comes the problem. We are faithful tithers. In 2009, we had two consecutive checks that we had turned in to the offering plate come up missing. In other words, the checks never cleared our bank. After three weeks, we notified the church, and they told us they didn't have record of them being turned in. We waited sixty days and rewrote the checks. The second time they cleared. In November and December of 2010, we had a total of five checks that we turned in not clear our bank. Again, the church had no record of them being turned in or received. I talked to the pastor personally about it and he assured me that he would discuss the handling of the money with the usher team. The beginning of January, another check. I called the pastor again and he assured me it would be addressed. He also advised me to give our tithe envelope directly to his wife after church. She does the book keeping. The next weekend I handed her our tithe envelope. Two weeks later and the check had not cleared. Two weeks ago, my wife and I decided to put our checks in the offering plate and NOT put our names on the envelope. I also included a note to the pastors wife telling here that the check that I had handed her did not clear our bank. She emailed me on Monday saying that she remembered me handing her the envelope but does not recall what she did with it. Both she and the pastor tells us that we are the only one this happens to, and that they sincerely apologize. They think someone is stealing from the offering basket and when they get an envelope with cash, they keep it, andwhen they get an envelope with a check, they throw it away. But it is happening to no one else. And if it is random, why do our envelopes always get picked. I think ours are being targeted. But not by someone in the general congregation. So what happened to the envelope that we turned in without our name and with the note? It's obvious that she received it because she replied to my note. But here is the nut kicker of the whole deal; that envelope had two checks in it. One cleared last week, and the other is pending.....
Now I feel creepy about giving to my own church. She tells me that my wife and I shouldn't be concerned what happens to the money once we give it, that God knows. So I tell her that we will just start dropping CASH in the offering plate. She says, "no, go ahead and out cash in an envelope with your name on it, and you won't have to worry about your checking account being out of balance". Well, that clearly contradicts what she says about thinking someone is stealing from the offering basket.
Again, I feel creepy about the whole deal. I want to support my church, but now I feel as if someone thinks my ,money is not good enough for the church and they are discarding my checks. Well, some of them. So all the money is still in my account, I dont want to get charged the fee to cancel them, and the church doesn't get to utilize the money. And they need it. It doesn't seem fair. With my red hair and Germanic heritage, I have a hot temper. I am to the point of calling my pastor and telling him that the crap has got to stop. Or asking him if someone is subtley telling us to leave the church. For what reason is beyond me. Am I prepared to leave behind a church that I have become a part of for 9 years? A place where I want my son and wife to be? I just don't know. i am so frustrated over the whole deal. Maybe I am making too big a deal over it. Maybe I should just quit worrying about it. It just makes me sick to hear him say at a leader's meeting that the churches finances are doing very bad, and to know that they are mishandling money that I have given.
I'd like sincere advice on this. Is there a member called Pastor who is an actual pastor? I just don't recall.
Friggin' Sleepless in Texas,
DL
A little background first. My church is a nondenominational, contemporary church. We have roughly 250 members with an average age in the mid-30's. We have a lot of college students also. I started going to our church in October of 2002. During that time, my first wife and I went through a divorce, I remarried, had a son, and lost a daughter. I met my 2nd wife at our church. We are both very active in the church and are currently leaders of a small family home group. My wife sang on the worship team, and prior to my divorce, I was the head usher/deacon. My first wife was not active at all in church but that is another story for another time. We seem to be well liked in our church and have developed some very good friendships.
Our church supports a couple of missionaries in Guatemala. We do community outreach programs where we hand out free water during 4th of July parades, give out free stamps on tax day, donate shoes and backpacks with supplies to a needy school in the area. As with everything else, the economy has effected the church. Staff salaries have been cut and the savings account has started to dwindle. My wife and i believe in supporting our church not only finacially, but also with our service.
Here comes the problem. We are faithful tithers. In 2009, we had two consecutive checks that we had turned in to the offering plate come up missing. In other words, the checks never cleared our bank. After three weeks, we notified the church, and they told us they didn't have record of them being turned in. We waited sixty days and rewrote the checks. The second time they cleared. In November and December of 2010, we had a total of five checks that we turned in not clear our bank. Again, the church had no record of them being turned in or received. I talked to the pastor personally about it and he assured me that he would discuss the handling of the money with the usher team. The beginning of January, another check. I called the pastor again and he assured me it would be addressed. He also advised me to give our tithe envelope directly to his wife after church. She does the book keeping. The next weekend I handed her our tithe envelope. Two weeks later and the check had not cleared. Two weeks ago, my wife and I decided to put our checks in the offering plate and NOT put our names on the envelope. I also included a note to the pastors wife telling here that the check that I had handed her did not clear our bank. She emailed me on Monday saying that she remembered me handing her the envelope but does not recall what she did with it. Both she and the pastor tells us that we are the only one this happens to, and that they sincerely apologize. They think someone is stealing from the offering basket and when they get an envelope with cash, they keep it, andwhen they get an envelope with a check, they throw it away. But it is happening to no one else. And if it is random, why do our envelopes always get picked. I think ours are being targeted. But not by someone in the general congregation. So what happened to the envelope that we turned in without our name and with the note? It's obvious that she received it because she replied to my note. But here is the nut kicker of the whole deal; that envelope had two checks in it. One cleared last week, and the other is pending.....
Now I feel creepy about giving to my own church. She tells me that my wife and I shouldn't be concerned what happens to the money once we give it, that God knows. So I tell her that we will just start dropping CASH in the offering plate. She says, "no, go ahead and out cash in an envelope with your name on it, and you won't have to worry about your checking account being out of balance". Well, that clearly contradicts what she says about thinking someone is stealing from the offering basket.
Again, I feel creepy about the whole deal. I want to support my church, but now I feel as if someone thinks my ,money is not good enough for the church and they are discarding my checks. Well, some of them. So all the money is still in my account, I dont want to get charged the fee to cancel them, and the church doesn't get to utilize the money. And they need it. It doesn't seem fair. With my red hair and Germanic heritage, I have a hot temper. I am to the point of calling my pastor and telling him that the crap has got to stop. Or asking him if someone is subtley telling us to leave the church. For what reason is beyond me. Am I prepared to leave behind a church that I have become a part of for 9 years? A place where I want my son and wife to be? I just don't know. i am so frustrated over the whole deal. Maybe I am making too big a deal over it. Maybe I should just quit worrying about it. It just makes me sick to hear him say at a leader's meeting that the churches finances are doing very bad, and to know that they are mishandling money that I have given.
I'd like sincere advice on this. Is there a member called Pastor who is an actual pastor? I just don't recall.
Friggin' Sleepless in Texas,
DL
