jackgoldman123
Boring and predictable
2 cannibals are eating a person.
One says: "I don't like my grandfather."
Other says: "Eat the vegetables."
One says: "I don't like my grandfather."
Other says: "Eat the vegetables."
You know that Cannibals don’t eat clowns? They taste funny.2 cannibals are eating a person.
One says: "I don't like my grandfather."
Other says: "Eat the vegetables."
I WISH!
*** throwing shade your way ***Thank goodness for blinds or it'd be curtains for all of us.
ABSOLUTELY PERFECT POST!Curtis & Leroy bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said - Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.
Well, then just give us our money back.
Can't do that. I went and spent it already.
OK then, just bring us the dead mule.
What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?
We gonna raffle him off.
You can't raffle off a dead mule.
We shore can. We don't hafta tell nobody he's dead.
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy and asked - What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?
We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do. We sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.
Didn't anyone complain?
Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.
A woman's three-year-old daughter recently came into the kitchen and asked - Where does poo come from?
The mother decided it was best to explain it to her at a level she would understand, so she said - Well, food goes into your mouth, then down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs from the food, then what’s left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as poo.
She looked confused and stared at her in a stunned silence for a few seconds. Then she asked - And what about Tigger?
I'd love to see that done to a DNR officer!A man was stopped by a game-warden with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
The man replied to the game warden, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.”
“Pet fish?!” the warden replied.
“Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.”
“That’s a bunch of crap! Fish can’t do that!” replied the warden in disbelief.
The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “Here, I’ll show you. It really works.”
“O.K. I’ve GOT to see this!” The game warden was curious.
The man poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited…
After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, “Well?”
“Well, what?” the man responded.
“When are you going to call them back?” the game warden prompted.
“Call who back?” the man asked.
“The FISH,” the warden said sternly.
“What fish?”
Sometimes I wish we could select more than one reaction.Remember, sad round yellow ping pong ball smiley means I am REALLY groaning.
That was bad, Doc. Real bad. So bad I feel like I need a doctor.