You know you are entering The South when.

[garyg]

"South" is relative.
My dad was from downstate Illinois, and if you heard him speak you'd swear he was Jed Clampett

Yep, Downstates Ohio & Indiana are also southern, at least linguistically, when living in Cincinnati natives had the twang. If you look at the famous Mason-Dixon Line, which supposedly delineated North & South, if extended straight to the west instead of following the Ohio River, it puts the southern reaches of those three "northern" states in the South! Klumbs, Ahia for example is where I start picking up the drawl. Wee doggies

 

[Toothpick]

The people here in the south are truly polite folks, and no it isn't just pretend, that is, unless you are one of those pushy bigoted northerners who thinks that all southerners are stupid. Almost everything is slower and quieter here - except for the vehicles. The iced tea is sweet and so are the girls. Grits are eaten with butter - not cream & sugar. BBQ is not boiled - crawfish are. Folks here are not dumb - but they are honest. You can say just about anything you want to about someone - as long as you add "Bless his/her little heart..." to it... Whataburger is the best burger on the planet - Hardees/Carl's Jr. can't touch it. Smoked brisket done right is the food of the gods. Jalapenos should be a part of every meal. Camouflage is a color.

If you don't like God, guns, grits, gumbo, hunting, fishing, sweet tea and politeness - just stay up there where you are. We're doing fine without you - bless your little heart...

which is about 80% of us, the other 20% have lived there once. I lived there twice Near Memphis for 4 years and near Nashville for a year. The most relaxing days of my life. Except drivers are the same everywhere, no where to go and in a hurry to get there.

 

[one cut]

you know that it historically never represented the C.S.A.
you know that it was a battle flag.

your U.S. history class could take place at a civil war reenactment, in uniform.

and summer sounds like this.

 

[Beerhunter]

Whenever I hear do you want sweet or unsweetened tea? Oh don't forget the grits as a side on every menu item.

 

[HaroldingPatrick]

... the BBQ get better. Some uncultured swine in other parts of the country put a sweet sauce on their BBQ. It's like the aforementioned grits, not supposed to be sweet. When I lived in PA they put tomatoes in their mac&cheese like red commies for Christ's sake!

We do go a little crazy when it snows, but our body count is generally lower than when they have a heat wave in the NE. Have the old people up there never heard of lots of water and a fan? Air conditioning is nice, but unnecessary. We have lots of old folks who have lived their whole lives completely without it.

For full disclosure I'm from western PA, grew up mostly in eastern Tn, and have spent all but 1 of the last 22 years in SC. I plan on retiring to the mountains of western NC when I can.


Another member of the SC asylum,

Patrick

 

[luvmysuper]

The people here in the south are truly polite folks, and no it isn't just pretend, that is, unless you are one of those pushy bigoted northerners who thinks that all southerners are stupid. Almost everything is slower and quieter here - except for the vehicles. The iced tea is sweet and so are the girls. Grits are eaten with butter - not cream & sugar. BBQ is not boiled - crawfish are. Folks here are not dumb - but they are honest. You can say just about anything you want to about someone - as long as you add "Bless his/her little heart..." to it... Whataburger is the best burger on the planet - Hardees/Carl's Jr. can't touch it. Smoked brisket done right is the food of the gods. Jalapenos should be a part of every meal. Camouflage is a color.

If you don't like God, guns, grits, gumbo, hunting, fishing, sweet tea and politeness - just stay up there where you are. We're doing fine without you - bless your little heart...

Yes, I can almost see the politeness dripping from your post.

 

[jbradley]

How can we forget the pollen from the pine trees turning EVERYTHING yellow in the springtime?

 

[Old AF SP]

How can we forget the pollen from the pine trees turning EVERYTHING yellow in the springtime?

+1 Don't forget the Oak pollen as well!

 

[luvmysuper]

How can we forget the pollen from the pine trees turning EVERYTHING yellow in the springtime?

Don't know about that being a sign of the south though. We have plenty of pine trees up here, just not much of a spring!
SWMBO has an allergy to the pine pollen, so that time of year is a killer for her.

 

[Mick]

Nobody has mentioned the fireflies yet. Surprised about that one

 

[WesternModern]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/south-postpones-rising-again-for-yet-another-year,377/

 

[jbradley]

1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Mississippi .
3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in Mississippi .
4) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5) Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
6) It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
7) A bug zapper produces hours of backyard entertainment

People actually grow and eat okra.
9) "Fixinto" is one word.
10) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper...
11) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12) Backwards and forwards means, "I know everythin' 'bout you.
13) The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"
14) You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see...
15) You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.
16) You measure distance in minutes.
17) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
18) All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
19) You know what a "Dawg" is.
20) You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own car.
21) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony Chachere's, Tabasco , and ketchup.
22) The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and Mississippi football...
23) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
24) You find 100 degrees "a bit warm."
25) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
26) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "Goin' Walmartin" or "off to Wally World."
27) You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather.
28) Fried catfish is the other white meat.
29) We don't need no driver's ed. . . if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

 

[cb91710]

Whenever I hear do you want sweet or unsweetened tea? Oh don't forget the grits as a side on every menu item.

Nahh... that's still pretty far north.

In the South, they just assume you want sweet tea, and when you say you want unsweet tea, you get the look (or even the comment) "Y'all ain't from 'round hea are ya'?"

 

[global_dev]

I live ~40 miles south of DC. Do i live in the south? I recognize most of the stuff, but I can't really tell. Btw I am a northerner transplant but the churches, BBQ, walmarts, guns, cameo, pickups, waffle houses, crackerbarrels, etc. are everywhere, but interspersed with all the northern stuff too.

Btw I thought cracker barrel was a block o' cheese until I drove past a "restaurant" with said name.

 

[otto76]

I live ~40 miles south of DC. Do i live in the south? I recognize most of the stuff, but I can't really tell. Btw I am a northerner transplant but the churches, BBQ, walmarts, guns, cameo, pickups, waffle houses, crackerbarrels, etc. are everywhere, but interspersed with all the northern stuff too.

Btw I thought cracker barrel was a block o' cheese until I drove past a "restaurant" with said name.

Mmmmmm....Cracker Barrel. Good place to grab some breakfast. The cheese hash browns are delicious.

 

[Toothpick]

Everyone waves at you in the South. Around here people stare and wonder "what you lookin at!?"...dude, you're the one staring at me...

You'll never see a pic on "people of Walmart" taken on a Sunday in the South.

 

[jbradley]

One of the really nice things down here. Everyone stops for a funeral procession. Even on a 4 lane, everyone stops.

 

[Barberman Jim]

My Saturday morning ritual. Love the Awful Waffle!!!

 

[jrward2]

One of the really nice things down here. Everyone stops for a funeral procession. Even on a 4 lane, everyone stops.

One of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed was this. About a year and a half ago three guys from my college and fraternity died in a car accident. The university paid for multiple buses to shuttle people from Oxford, MS to Jackson, MS (about a 2 1/2 hour drive). During the procession to the burial site every car along the 4 lane boulevard stopped on the side of the road, got out of the car, and bowed their heads as the buses and cars passed. I'll never forget seeing that.

 

[Prof. Moriarty]

Yes, I can almost see the politeness dripping from your post.

I would argue it is oozing rather than dripping.