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Baker's Dozen: Corrupted Quotations Edition

Clean up a movie quote to play on primetime TV.

1. If we want to hear you talk, I will shove my arm up the back of your jacket and work your mouth like a puppet - Samuel L Jackson, The Other Guys
2. Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you monster-trucker, say what one more Goll-durn time!
3. "That's bold talk for a one-eyed fat man."
"Fill your hands, you stinky ditch!" --Rooster "John Wayne" Cogburn, True Grit
4. "Let me tell you something, amigo. You pull any of your zany antics with us, you flash a piece of birthday cake on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it in your locker and close the combination lock 'til it goes click." - Jesus Quintana, The Big Lebowski
5. Within your 'purview'? Where do you think you are, some BBC regency costume drama? This is a government department, not some dainty Jane frou frou Austen novel! Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and place it on your noggin with a lubricated horse bridle! - Malcolm Tucker, In the Loop
6. so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his cowbell. Five long years, he wore this watch in his cowbell. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal in my cowbell for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. (Captain Coons, Pulp Fiction)
7. Well, fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So I think we'll put him in my special BLEEP-pulling machine. That should do the trick. - Willy Wonka
8. I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. Train hard and do what I say. That is all. (Sorry, there was a lot of editing needed.)
9. Billy Batts:.I'm only kidding with you, we're having a party, I just came home and I haven't seen you in a long time and I'm joshing with you, and you're getting a teensy weensy bit fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Tommy DeVito:.I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Billy Batts:.Okay, salud..Now go home and get your finest shinebox.
Tommy DeVito:.Sir, you go too far! You, you malodorous toffee nosed pervert! - Goodfellas
Doc4. You had best unwind yourself and start showering me with Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely have to be fisticuffs!” – Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in.Full Metal Jacket
11. Enough is enough! My patience with the airborne serpents which plague us has expired.
12. -Bruges is a shiny whale. --Bruges *is* not a shiny whale
-Bruges *is* a shiny whale
--Ray, we only just got off the foam flecked train! Could we reserve judgement on Bruges until we've seen the flotsam place?
 
Clean up a movie quote to play on primetime TV.

1. If we want to hear you talk, I will shove my arm up the back of your jacket and work your mouth like a puppet - Samuel L Jackson, The Other Guys
2. Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you monster-trucker, say what one more Goll-durn time!
3. "That's bold talk for a one-eyed fat man."
"Fill your hands, you stinky ditch!" --Rooster "John Wayne" Cogburn, True Grit
4. "Let me tell you something, amigo. You pull any of your zany antics with us, you flash a piece of birthday cake on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it in your locker and close the combination lock 'til it goes click." - Jesus Quintana, The Big Lebowski
5. Within your 'purview'? Where do you think you are, some BBC regency costume drama? This is a government department, not some dainty Jane frou frou Austen novel! Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and place it on your noggin with a lubricated horse bridle! - Malcolm Tucker, In the Loop
6. so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his cowbell. Five long years, he wore this watch in his cowbell. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal in my cowbell for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. (Captain Coons, Pulp Fiction)
7. Well, fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So I think we'll put him in my special BLEEP-pulling machine. That should do the trick. - Willy Wonka
8. I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. Train hard and do what I say. That is all. (Sorry, there was a lot of editing needed.)
9. Billy Batts:.I'm only kidding with you, we're having a party, I just came home and I haven't seen you in a long time and I'm joshing with you, and you're getting a teensy weensy bit fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Tommy DeVito:.I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Billy Batts:.Okay, salud..Now go home and get your finest shinebox.
Tommy DeVito:.Sir, you go too far! You, you malodorous toffee nosed pervert! - Goodfellas
Doc4. You had best unwind yourself and start showering me with Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely have to be fisticuffs!” – Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in.Full Metal Jacket
11. Enough is enough! My patience with the airborne serpents which plague us has expired.
12. -Bruges is a shiny whale. --Bruges *is* not a shiny whale
-Bruges *is* a shiny whale
--Ray, we only just got off the foam flecked train! Could we reserve judgement on Bruges until we've seen the flotsam place?
13. This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps! (the actual network TV edit of the line) - Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski
 
Corrupt any great quote into CSI Miami/Dave Caruso one liner (add famous Yeah! Scream at end)


1. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Well, looks like he reacted 100% to death....yeah!
 
Corrupt any great quote into CSI Miami/Dave Caruso one liner (add famous Yeah! Scream at end)


1. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Well, looks like he reacted 100% to death....yeah
2. Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. Well, it looks like this guy's worst enemy finally got to him....yeah!
 

Doc4

Stumpy in cold weather
Staff member
Is there something we need to do to a quote to make is "Caruso-esque" other than adding a "YEAHH!!" at the end?
 
Corrupt any great quote into CSI Miami/Dave Caruso one liner (add famous Yeah! Scream at end)


1. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Well, looks like he reacted 100% to death....yeah
2. Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. Well, it looks like this guy's worst enemy finally got to him....yeah!
3. The verdict is in Frank, but the jury is out. Yeah!!!
 
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Is there something we need to do to a quote to make is "Caruso-esque" other than adding a "YEAHH!!" at the end?
.
Just add a one liner similar to how csi Dave would do , u can twist the quote around and improvise a smart *** one
Liner.
 
Corrupt any great quote into CSI Miami/Dave Caruso one liner (add famous Yeah! Scream at end)


1. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Well, looks like he reacted 100% to death....yeah
2. Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. Well, it looks like this guy's worst enemy finally got to him....yeah!
3. The verdict is in Frank, but the jury is out. Yeah!!!
4. We are a discreet sheep, we wait to see where the drove is going then we follow the drove...Looks like this victim got drove over. YEAHH!
 
Corrupt any great quote into CSI Miami/Dave Caruso one liner (add famous Yeah! Scream at end)


1. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Well, looks like he reacted 100% to death....yeah
2. Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. Well, it looks like this guy's worst enemy finally got to him....yeah!
3. The verdict is in Frank, but the jury is out. Yeah!!!
4. We are a discreet sheep, we wait to see where the drove is going then we follow the drove...Looks like this victim got drove over. YEAHH!
5 To be or not to be, that is the question.....looks like the answer is not to be, just like this thread..Yeah!!


 
Corrupt any great quote into CSI Miami/Dave Caruso one liner (add famous Yeah! Scream at end)


1. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Well, looks like he reacted 100% to death....yeah
2. Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. Well, it looks like this guy's worst enemy finally got to him....yeah!
3. The verdict is in Frank, but the jury is out. Yeah!!!
4. We are a discreet sheep, we wait to see where the drove is going then we follow the drove...Looks like this victim got drove over. YEAHH!
5 To be or not to be, that is the question.....looks like the answer is not to be, just like this thread..Yeah!!
6. "Age is just a number, life is endless". ..well, look like his number was up..YEAH!
 
Corrupt any great quote into CSI Miami/Dave Caruso one liner (add famous Yeah! Scream at end)


1. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Well, looks like he reacted 100% to death....yeah
2. Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. Well, it looks like this guy's worst enemy finally got to him....yeah!
3. The verdict is in Frank, but the jury is out. Yeah!!!
4. We are a discreet sheep, we wait to see where the drove is going then we follow the drove...Looks like this victim got drove over. YEAHH!
5 To be or not to be, that is the question.....looks like the answer is not to be, just like this thread..Yeah!!
6. "Age is just a number, life is endless". ..well, looks like his number was up..YEAH
7. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." ...well, looks like our guy is seriously dead. YEAHHHHHHHH!
 
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