Accidents happen....

Discussion in 'The Barber Shop' started by Mama Bear, Oct 21, 2006.

  1. S.C. Anderson
    PO Box 4321
    Minnetonka, MN 98765

    Superior Health Insurance
    ATTN: Claims Review
    PO Box 6789
    New York, NY 12345

    Dear Sir,

    I'm writing in response to your request for additional information.

    In block #3 of the accident report form I put "Trying to do the job alone" as the cause of the accident. In your letter you said that I should explain more fully and I trust that the following details should be sufficient.

    I'm a bricklayer by trade. On the date of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new 3 story building. When I completed my work I discovered I had about 300 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley that was attached to the side of the building at the 3rd floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went to to the roof swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope while holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the three hundred pounds of bricks.

    You will note in block #2 of the accident report form that I stated I weighed 165 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly I lost my presence of mind and did not let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building. In the middle of the second floor I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collar bone.

    Slowed down only slightly by the barrel I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my right hand was two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, I retained conciseness and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain and injuries.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom of the barrel broke out. Devoid of the weight of the bricks the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in box #2. As you might imagine, I began a rather rapid descent down the side of the building. In the middle of the second floor, I again met the barrel coming up. This accounts for my two fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body. This encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks. Fortunately only three vertebrate were cracked.

    I'm sorry to report however as I lay there on the bricks, in pain, unable to stand or move, I lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. The empty barrel, weighing more than the rope, came back down and broke both of my legs.

    I hope I furnished the information that you need to complete the processing of my claim and that you understand how the accident occurred by trying to do the job alone.


    S. Anderson
  2. I swear.....those viking fans!!!:biggrin:
  3. An oldie, but goodie. :thumbup1:

  4. Mythbusters did a episode on this a while back. They tried everything possible to recreate the event.
  5. Were they able to? I would have loved to have seen that episode!

    I heard this for the first time on a local radio station on my way to work one morning over 20 years ago.. Maybe it was just the DJ.. but I was laughing so hard I literally had to pull off the road to recover and wipe the tears out of my eyes.... I was hoping maybe some of the new guys had never heard this one..... :biggrin:
  6. I heard it in 1969 (37 years ago) and I was told that it was old, then!

  7. htownmmm

    htownmmm Moderator Emeritus

    :thumbup1: :lol: :lol: :lol: :biggrin1:

  8. Funny story. Here's another funny story that's also an urban legend. It's one of my favorites:

    A New Orleans lawyer sought a FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
    After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:

    Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
    Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

    Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the then reigning monarch, Isabelle. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part of the world called Louisiana. He, therefore, would be the owner of origin. I hope to hell you find His original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?
    They got it.

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